Need some advices and good people to talk

[iwillbe]

Since I'm was really young I used to wear my moms clothes, underwear and shoes. I liked a lot, I was happy to do It.. I had a lot of girls as friends.. and to be honest I liked so much more to have girls as friends then boys
When I was about 8 or 10 years old, she cautch me using her underwear (panties) on the bathroom, and she was angry.. She toldme to never do this again..
From this moment, I started to hide my true "me" from everybody.. even to my best friend that is lesbian..

Since then I used her clothes without her knowledgment.. Today im too big (on size and age too..) to sneek out and use her cloches ..
I bought a pair of heels but I need to use then alone and I hide it from everyone, I feel so sexy when Im wearing then.. Love It

I like girls, don't like boys, i dont like theyr apearence and I would be so much happy if I could be born a girl.. I love makeup, shoes and cloches.. i wish to be born with a vagina (to be honest if I born a girl I would probably be a lesbian) ..
Im a girl from inside but I can't let my family to know it.. they will never accept me as I am.. My dream is to won on loterry or to get o good job here to save some money, an then I could move on and start my transformation on another country on europe, canada or usa.. tailand.. etc.. people there r so much more understanding about us.. Here in my country (brazil) they think that transgender or crossdresses r just hores that make sex for money, that r dangerous, they make fun of us, they kill a lot of transgender and gay people here, they treat then very bad.. so its like impossible to start my transformation here.. It will be something that will risk my life for sure..

Im thinking on start on finasteride  until I decide what am i gonna do with my life (if it just stops me of being more "men" outside that im allready it will make me so much happier..).. this is dangerous? will make my hormones to stop, and my femenine hormones to start acting ?(i just need time to get out of my country to start the treatment)I will run away.. Im thinking on move on to europe (in 2 or 3 months i will have the money for the airplane ticket and enough money to stay for about 30 days..) so I will buy on internet the hormones (just until I find a job to start living there and have enough money to pay for a doctor to help-me).. and start my treatment... I allready lived on ireland, everyday of my live since when i think that i was so stupid to come back.. if I was there until today, i could start my treatment there and be inside and outside who i really am. I woman!

Please I need some advices about the finasterid and about what should i do on my life.. im really stressed, afraid.. LOST!
I need to hide myself here on brazil and im very unhappy, i allready had some suicidal thoughs and to be honest i think that if I dosent find ou a solution asp I will try to kill myself.. Im a good person, I dont hurt anyone, I do respect everyone, I think that love is everything.. Im so sad that the world works as it is.. I dont whant to live like a men. Im a woman, but i can't do nothing about it at this moment.. im crying almost everyday

im 26 years old .. a little big (1,83meter) but i think that hormones will act just fine on me cuz I look a lot like my mother..

So again I ask for your all help.. thx a lot

Ps:. Sorry for my bad english.. im so much better speaking than writing..LOL

Xoxo

[Bird]

Hi.

I am brazilian too, 27 years old and transitioning as I finish my graduation. The first things I have to tell you are that it is not always a life threat to be transgender. I have not received any sort of physical agression and I have been living full time as a woman since august. It is true though, you will receive a lot of prejudice. Almost all of my classmates at university have put some distance between me and them and sometimes, I am ignored by them on chat rooms.

You don't necessarily have to move to other countries to transition, what you must do, is pass well and change your id.

The first steps on your journey should be finding a decent psychiatrist to help you sort out through the mess that must be goin on inside of you. After that, you can take the right decisions. Don't tell your family about gender issues, just say you have been feelling anxious and depressed, thus your wish to seek professional help.

Finasteride is fine to use before beginning proper HRT, It will stop any andro pattern of hair loss and reverse it slowly. Some people have side effects while on it, such as erectile dysfunction or loss of libido but they are temporary for the most part.

If you need any help, or if you wish to ask specific questions (considering I am brazilan as well) feel free to pm me.

[Bird]

Actually, let me correct myself:

It is POSSIBLE you will receive prejudice. We never know what will happen until it happens. I find there is a lot of prejudice here in Brazil, so I agree with you it is a likely possibility.

[iwillbe]

Thx a lot, Its like Im 60% afraid of my family and 40% to the other people..
I think that some girls on my family can understand.. but my mom and other people that i love will never..
Im afraid to lost my job (im 99% certain that they will fireme.. even cuz im a trainee).. Im sendin u a PM..

U will be a great support for mee.. really.. thx a lot

[iwillbe]

Actually, let me correct myself:

It is POSSIBLE you will receive prejudice. We never know what will happen until it happens. I find there is a lot of prejudice here in Brazil, so I agree with you it is a likely possibility.

Im trying to send u a PM but i receve this:
An Error Has Occurred!
You are not allowed to send personal messages.

Do u have a gmail email, so we can talk on messenger..?
Thx

[Bird]

I sent it to you.

[iwillbe]

I sent it to you.

Iv sent u an email.. my email is an microsoft messenger too..

Again.. really thx 4 your support

[V M]

Hi iwillbe 

Welcome to Susan's     Please do not post dosage amounts

Please be sure to review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos)
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Reputation rules
  

Hugs

V M

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi iwillbe,
Welcome to Susan's. We are family here and it is safe for you to express your thoughts and feelings with fear of abuse or attack.

You've obviously made good friends with Bird. She is a very genuine, loving and caring woman.

Basically you need to make 15 posts before lots of thing become available to you here. That's not all that hard when you join in conversations that are familiar to you. So I look forward to hearing more from you in time to come.

Seriously though. Suicide is not really worth the thought. There is so much life worth living out there, that the simple thought of where this journey of ->-bleeped-<- can take you, is often beyond your current limits of understanding. Truly it's worth hanging in there just to find out what I'm talking about.

As Bird said, and no doubt working out for you, is to find a good therapist, who can help sort your feelings out. Hang in there, this is a long journey at the best of times. It doesn't happen overnight.

Keep in touch and let us know how you are coping. In the meantime, be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Cadence Jean]

Hey, iwillbe!  Welcoem to the forums.  PM me some time and I can give you my history with anti-androgens.

[iwillbe]

Hey, iwillbe!  Welcoem to the forums.  PM me some time and I can give you my history with anti-androgens.

Hi, I would love to PM you but unfortunately I still dosent have access to PM yet.. can u sendme your email or msn? mine is iwillbemtf@gmail.com (microsoft messenger too)..

Thx