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I found out why my girlfriend was having issues with me....

Started by NightWalker, February 25, 2012, 05:06:33 PM

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NightWalker

Well.....apparently the whole "falling out of love" with me thing she told me about was just a cover up for a deeper issue going on.

Let me give some background information first. We have been together for 2 years and are both madly in love with each other. Recently my girlfriend started to get distant from me and I had no clue why. She then told me she had fallen out of love with me and I was very hurt. Well I just found out today that she has NOT really fallen out of love with me.....she used that as a cover up for a deeper issue that she is struggling with.

You see....she is straight..I am FTM. She is a Christian and fears that God will be mad at her for loving me because I have a female body. She herself has no problem with me being FTM.....she just fears that God doesn't approve... Now I am bewildered...I love her and I don't know what to do.

How can I help her to stop worrying?

I don't know what section to put this in...I hope it's okay to post it here...
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Angelique1994

if she loves u she loves u  and yall have been together for 2 years already dont u think its a little late to worry bout if god is gonna love u or not
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caseyyy

Wait...didn't she get with a girl after saying she doesn't love you?
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Make_It_Good

Being a Christian, having a Christian family and girlfriend, I can see how she could initially feel that way to begin with (and before people go off on an anti religious tangent..) Id like to say that these feelings dont have to be any reason for people not to accept transitioning in peoples lives. If you are true to yourself, and you both love eachother, there is nothing wrong there. You are not going out into the world and trying to do wrong.
  I almost saw things for me as a test of my strength. Not that that was the reason I had to transition, but it was something I could get out of it. Only God is judge, noone on Earth is, so we shouldnt let a worry like this stop us from lovign someone, as she will be able to tell if it is right with God for her. And as you describe, things have been right up untill now. She may just need abit of time to accept and adjust (although, like Caseyyy said, if you two have been together 2 years, didnt she love you when you had a female body anyway...?)

My girlfriend questioned things at first, (because initially she didnt know about my past) but quickly came to realize I am just a normal person, what I have gone through isnt wrong, it was necessary and I still have a relationship with God as before.
 
I hope things go well for you with your girlfriend. Try to talk to her and get to see her worries so that you can try to guide her in the right understanding. :)
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supremecatoverlord

Meow.



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Nygeel

One thing I've found in witnessing my parents is that spiritual journeys, questioning, and need to find yourself is kind of a thing that needs to be done independently. My father has been a pretty big Catholic, and my mother was too. Over the past 5-10 years my mom has been exploring other religions and spirituality which my dad isn't happy with. They're both really distant. They bicker about it, make poor decisions from this issue, it's just bad. I really do wish they would get a divorce so my mom can feel more comfortable with herself, and be able to explore things without hurting my father like she has over the years due to various decisions.

If it's really religion, she needs to work on that, figure out what she needs to, and when she knows who she is she can either return to you or move onto somebody else.
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King Malachite

Quote from: Caseyyy on February 25, 2012, 06:17:24 PM
Wait...didn't she get with a girl after saying she doesn't love you?

Jason beat me to it....this. ^
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Hayzer12

Quote from: Malachite on February 25, 2012, 07:43:28 PM
Jason beat me to it....this. ^

Everyone beat me to it. T.T

Maybe she's a lesbian who has a problem with herself, and is only dating you to cover up for the fact that she really likes women. Or....you're just FOS
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caseyyy

You never know, she may have problems with being with the girl as well, I just found it contradictory is all.
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NightWalker

I will explain. There is this girl she has been talking to and hanging out with and she has a crush on her too....but says she still loves me. It is a very confusing situation so I can see why you all are confused.

So yes, there is this girl. She likes her. But has a problem with me because I got a female body....so I asked her why...if she has a problem with ME....that she is going to a girl. Her only response was "I don't know.....I wonder that myself".


It's a confusing situation and even I don't understand it.

All I know is I love her and I want her back :(
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supremecatoverlord

We all commented on that thread and gave you our advice. I looked at your posts and can no longer find that thread. Did you delete it? I would have been easier for all of us I think if we ccould reference back to that post so we could piece together your current situation.

One thing that truly perplexes me though is that if you say your girlfriend is straight, how does she have sexual attraction to a female? I know sexuality is complicated, but I would not say she is straight if she is capable of falling in love with people who identify as a girl. Heteroflexible maybe, but not straight.
Quote from: NightWalker on February 26, 2012, 01:05:56 PM
I will explain. There is this girl she has been talking to and hanging out with and she has a crush on her too....but says she still loves me. It is a very confusing situation so I can see why you all are confused.

So yes, there is this girl. She likes her. But has a problem with me because I got a female body....so I asked her why...if she has a problem with ME....that she is going to a girl. Her only response was "I don't know.....I wonder that myself".


It's a confusing situation and even I don't understand it.

All I know is I love her and I want her back :(
Meow.



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Hayzer12

Why want her back? She's either pansexual, bisexual, or a lesbian (or perhaps she has no true orientation, which is all fine by she isn't being truthful with herself regardless) and if she even REMOTELY has feelings for someone else, she doesn't love you as much as she says she does. I say move on, give her time to sort out her own feelings, sexuality, and self(because obviously this girl is very confused, and needs to find out who she is and what her preferences are) and work on yourself and your transition. It is "much easier to let go and see if they come back, rather than hold on and see if they let go". That quotation is very true. Don't sit around and wait to get heartbroken even more than you already are. Move on, and if she truly loves you then it will work itself out.
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NightWalker

She told me she was straight....idk....like I said it's a big confusing mess.
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