My fiancee and I have been together for around a year and a half now. We DID identify as a lesbian couple. Basically most of our relationship. Until I came to understand that this desire and need I had was not going to go away. When I told her I was trans, which was basically not too long ago, she just said she loved me for me and that it didn't matter. At the same time though I'm thinking, "How is she gonna love me when I have facial hair and my voice drops?" "How will she be attracted to a man when she is a lesbian?". She did tell me early on in our relationship as more of a passing fact because we pretty much talk about anything and everything that she was attracted to men in high school but then that changed and she just wasn't attracted anymore. Regardless, I did what you are doing. I began to doubt. I began to feel like "Oh god, she is going to leave me because she just won't be attracted." Despite the fact that she stuck by me and continued to tell me she would always be attracted to me. We are our own worst enemy. And it wasn't long ago at all that I was having these doubts again. You could actually check my previous posts. I'll try and find it and put up a link.
Anywho, we had a talk and she did come out as bisexual. Because of the stigma society has placed upon bisexuals, and because I, being ignorant as I am, had cracked a few jokes here and there about bisexuals. She was scared to tell me or even admit it to herself. She did say though that she is a lot more attracted to women and that before, she only saw herself being with a woman and could never marry a man. Until now that is. We love each other too much and our relationship is strong. Neither of us want to give this up. Trust me when I say we have been through too much.
Regardless, sexuality is fluid. It isn't always black and white. Some people can't handle it. And in this case, sometimes lesbians just cannot handle it. That's because they are simply attracted to women. Or don't want a label of bisexual or whatever their personal reasons are. If your girlfriend has stuck around this long, had no problems with pronouns, and continues to love you, then let go of the anxiety. I had to because it was killing me inside and hurting our relationship. But now things are so much better that I have given up my stupid fears and have complete trust in her words. She has never let me down. So why shouldn't I trust her now?
Best of luck. She loves you for you. She is with you. I see some of the posts on this site and I see how lonely some people are and how much they crave what we both have. We need to take this and cherish how precious and amazing the love we have is. And don't waste a moment of it with fears, doubts and things that only cause harm. If things are meant to be, they will be!
