Susan's Place: 30 years of community, powered by people who believe transgender voices matter.
Started by King Malachite, February 29, 2012, 05:07:59 PM
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Quote from: Felix on September 19, 2013, 09:31:14 PMShantel I've never been in a war but I've been in some stuff I don't like to think about and it's hard and I feel you. You can make it go away all you want in the day and then sometimes it comes out of the blue to show itself in sleep. Lately I haven't remembered any coherent dreams, just bits and pieces of annoyance at being misgendered and a lot of fear that my ankle is still open or is stapled shut and the staples are falling out and Leah is coming at me and I don't think she understands what pain means and I can't get away.Gender issues in the social aspects of my dreams and grisly body problems in the more primal parts.
Quote from: Shantel on September 20, 2013, 10:46:21 AMWe all have our own little wars and combat episodes of different but very real sorts don't we though?
Quote from: r.blaine.85 on September 21, 2013, 12:27:09 AMFelix.. In this dream was the person who showed up someone you grew up with? I ask only as a man who has a close friend with whom I grew up with who has been transitioning to female, I still often have to catch myself from calling her by her old name and I feel horrible about it. I'm probably the only one around her that has been supportive, but sometimes it's just instinct. However, I know it really upsets her when she recognizes that I almost call her by the other name.
Quote from: Felix on September 21, 2013, 01:02:55 AMI didn't grow up with anybody (I'd know people for a year or so before we'd move) but this was a person I was very close to as a young adult, when my daughter was little. He was a guy who used to play chess and drink coffee, who dressed in black war fatigues every day and stockpiled survival gear even though his main enemies were just taxes and noisy neighbors. I miss him very much, but he was pretty nasty with me after my daughter was sexually assaulted. He knew we were leaving and he wanted to scavenge our stuff, and I told him he could have the furniture but not the computers, because one was police evidence and the other belonged to UAB. He was...not notable or all that much different than anybody else in context. Still. The horror of loved ones is all echoes and scars.There are people that I misgender because I knew them pre-transition. It takes some finesse and awareness and self-control to be correct and respectful. I feel awful when I screw up and I know it makes them feel bad.
Quote from: r.blaine.85 on September 21, 2013, 01:16:27 AMI'm very sorry to hear that about your daughter and your strained relationship with this person. He sounds at the very least like an interesting individual despite his shortcomings. If I may be so bold to ask, whereabouts was this? I run into similar type people all of the time in and around Dupont Cirlce in Washington D.C.. old army fatigues, playing chess all day that is, I don't pretend to know what kind of person this man was on the inside..
Quote from: Felix on September 21, 2013, 01:27:34 AMBirmingham, Alabama. If you know anybody there, ask about Becca and Leah, or Becca and Lindsay, or Becca and Billy. We stood out like bloody thumbs and were as social as we could be without participating in nightlife or going to church much.I think how he was on the inside was essentially decent. Bad stuff catches good people off guard.