First day!

[Kyyn]

Yesterday I told 2 of my closest friends that I'm a boy like them.
They demanded that I dress as a boy when I go out to lunch with them today and offered to call me with male pronouns.

So now I'm getting dressed. My first time out as a boy..
I'm so nervous I think I'm going to be sick...

Gods give me strength.

[MacKenzie]

 
  Act tough and you'll be ok dude.

  Good luck!

[Kyyn]

Thank you!

Ironically, between myself and my two mates - I'm really the most male so I don't have to try too hard haha.

[MacKenzie]

Ironically, between myself and my two mates - I'm really the most male so I don't have to try too hard haha.

  Funny you should say that because it's the same with me and my two closest female friends. 

  I can def see the maleness in your avatar picture, are you on T yet?

[Kyyn]

No T yet.
And I had to bind my Dcup chest.

So thank you!! Your comment means a lot.   

[kelly_aus]

Dude, you kind of look like an exBF...

[Kyyn]

Really?? haha, wow
I hope that's not awkward for you.

If it helps: Here's a photo of me "girl mode" (as I call it when I have to be a girl for conservative friends and family):

[kelly_aus]

Can we have the cute guy back please?

[Kyyn]

Lol, the girl photos is from 2 years ago now.

I find, if i can keep my hair long enough to cover my cheeks - i can lose most of the "elfin" look and pull off male more
Though I need to stop borrowing my brothers clothes. He's gonna notice haha.

Clothes shopping with some mates next week. Can't wait.

[justmeinoz]

Hope you had a good time. 

[Felix]

That is exciting.

[Kyyn]

Was a really good day.

But I got home, took the boys clothes off and kinda crumbled... I didnt even have the heart to put on my dance clothes (small and tight fitting) and ended up skipping it for the night.

Im guessing these moments of utter, desolate confusion are normal... and cured with ice cream and scifi movies.

Tried to dress girl again.... actually felt like i was in drag  :S. Odd moment.

[justmeinoz]

Im guessing these moments of utter, desolate confusion are normal... and cured with ice cream and scifi movies.

Big Hug from Aunty Karen.

Understandable.  Sounds like, regret that you can't just do it all the time, and then hating yourself for being a coward and not doing it. And then beating yourself up for being upset.  It'll pass, and you will end up looking at mens clothing and thinking, "how on earth do they wear that boring stuff."   

The ice cream and movies sounds very girly to me.   I have "Torchwood" series 2 on hire at the moment.

Karen.

[schism]

Tried to dress girl again.... actually felt like i was in drag  :S. Odd moment.

i totally get this.  last year my sister dragged me out, dressed me up, did my makeup, it was so freaking weird.  i just felt like i was in drag.  i just can't wear anything feminine at all now without feeling that way.

edit: lol, dragged me out.  unintended pun.

[Kyyn]

Big Hug from Aunty Karen.

Understandable.  Sounds like, regret that you can't just do it all the time, and then hating yourself for being a coward and not doing it. And then beating yourself up for being upset.  It'll pass, and you will end up looking at mens clothing and thinking, "how on earth do they wear that boring stuff."   

The ice cream and movies sounds very girly to me.   I have "Torchwood" series 2 on hire at the moment.

Karen.

Sounds like you really understand

Haha, its the mens clothes that I want to wear. I wish my chest was flat. It just looks wrong with a big chest .
I've always been called "cute" so i guess i dont mind looking like a girly-boy. But it just doesnt feel right to dress like a girl anymore. Its like im wearing a mask. A heavy, painful, suffocating mask.

Torchwood is awesome. I'm watching an old season of Star Gate. No matter what gender I present - Im a geek to the core!



@Schism: Hahaha, that must have been a fun experience. Next time you should take her on a boys night
It really does feel weird though. Like an elaborate costume.

[MacKenzie]

Tried to dress girl again.... actually felt like i was in drag  :S. Odd moment.

  I know the feeling, when i dress like a guy it feels super awkward.
  I look like a girl trying to wear baggy male clothes that are way to big on her... 

 
  Kyyn, I think after you've been on T for awhile and find a male style that works for you you'll feel alot better. I don't think you will look super masculine but being a pretty boy isn't that bad either, trust me i know from exp. I've always had very androgynous facial features so i lived as a pretty boy for most of my life and even did male modeling while in college. If you don't mind random beautiful women coming up to you telling you you're gorgeous then yeah it's not that bad. I'm not into women so that was the part I hated the most.


  Hang in there man!