Just a few days before I joined this site, I decided to try and see what I can do. I live, or should I say am stuck, in a very particular part of Europe. ->-bleeped-<- is treated as a myth, it may or may not exist in the outside world. I often feel like I am stuck in a glass prison, staring at the outside world. I always thought I would move somewhere, then start my journey. I realise I may be 40 or 50 when I move, if I even move, while I would like to be done with my journey, or most of it, by my 30th birthday. I have a very clear image in my head of who I want to be. I want to be a full-time crossdresser who never hides his flat chest and never tucks. Basically, I want to be an effeminate men in a dress. I can still pass, but you need a quick second look. I am so tired of playing myself online, and being someone else in real life. I also feel like I am cradling this idea of myself inside me, just waiting for the right time. It is almost as if I were pregnant with my real self.
Fantasies and dreams aside!
I am almost sure I can get antiandrogens. Estrogen definitely, but I am not sure I wish to go that far.
I saw some gorgeous ->-bleeped-<-s lately who had perfect breasts and perfect make genitals. This is a bit embarrassing, please bare with me? I imagine myself similar to them, sans the breasts. I assume I will need some facial feminisation. I do not have a square jaw, a big, square chin, or a very manly face, but my brow bone and eyebrows do worry me.
I seem to be getting ahead of myself here...
I need to state that I have a lot of excess weight. That story is too long, but I started doing all I can to lose it. Does the weight interfere with hormones, or anything? I imagine it does not help me look all that girly, though.
So, please, tell me what to do first. I imagine nobody knows anything about my area, so I left out where I live. I had a friend who was or is transgendered, so I know quite a lot about it. Still, it is different once you try doing something similar on your own. He and I no longer talk, so that is also a factor in my decision to ask for help and advice here.
P.S. I am 25 years of age. I assume that is also something to be considered. Also quite tall, 6'4"or 5", 195 centimetres. That is really not a problem, I like the idea of a freakishly tall, extremely girly man. I just wonder if it may hinder something.
Sincere thanks
Lavender
