The sooner I transition, the better...

[PinkDiamond]

So I'm writing all this because I'm still in a tiring debate with myself over whether or not I should transition.

I mean, I really want to be female and I already have conducted a list of the clothes and accessories (female, of course) I want. I'm already about to get me a pair of panties and a bra. I already got these tights I purchased from Forever21... and some lip gloss, AND some phony lashes, AND some eye shadow (which I unfortunately had to throw away because it got all over my stuff in my bag). Whether I do or don't -- I feel as though I should've transitioned at an early age of childhood but unfortunately they won't do sex changes on people under 18.

There are certain things I want to do before I transition though. I want to have sex as a male first and I plan to produce an indie film which happens to be about empowering the LGTB community and the role I'm playing is a male character.

I've see some trans women who... you can clearly tell they're transsexuals and others -- it's really hard to tell which is good and that brings me to mention in Philadelphia, they busted this woman who called herself the "Black Madam" (Padge Windslowe) for illegal silicone injections and the thing is that the news classifies her as a "transgender woman" and I'm sure they mean transsexual because the news gets it mixed up all the time. Had they not said she was transgender, I would've never knew. Padge is the most convincing M2F I've ever seen.

I have nothing against M2F transsexuals who still look masculine -- I just find it beneficial for them to feminize their entire body so they can look a little more convincing but then again, maybe they'd be happy with just a pair of boobs and a vagina! More power to them but I'm getting me a high-quality gender surgery. I want to look that convincing!

The main thing is this; a lot of people feel that transitioning is a sin that will earn me a ticket straight to Hell. I'm Christian and I really want to go to Heaven (well, I mean, who doesn't?) and be female then... ... ... but is there any Testament in the Bible that forbids against sex changes? I mean, say you were born with a defect and it was surgically possible to get it corrected, is that a sin? Because that's pretty much what being transgender is... being born with the wrong chromosomes!

Even if I decide against it, I at least want to get rid of all of this body hair, and make my butt bigger, hips wider, waist thinner, and face to be younger looking and more feminine.

I want to hear your thoughts on this:

[Wild Flower]

Not going to get into the Christianity point of this...

But to me you transition when you think your life is not worth living anymore. If you can find any way to be "OKAY" with being a "male"  then do that, but if you just can't... then you should transition. Being a transsexual woman is hard, not that I am one yet, but it's just tough... it's more than being a woman, it's a financial, emotional, lose everything kind of deal. It's up to you... go with your gut instinct.

 

[Cindy]

You really need to talk to a gender therapist. Your concepts are a bit 'all over the place'. There are no magic wands in this journey amd it is hard work, physically, emotionally, financially, and relationship wise.

One question my therapist would throw at you straight away would be. Since you gender identify as female why is your first sexual desire to have sex as a male with a female? Why wouldn't you prefer to have sex with a male as a female? There are no right or wrong answers BTW. Just questions.

I have no concept of religious discussion so I will not move into that area.

But I do suggest you talk to a therapist about the differences between fantasy and reality in transgendered people. There is nothing wrong in fantasising in any sex role, but the reality can and is very, very different.

Cindy