What's making me get mis-genderd? (video)

[Dominick_81]

Got mis-genderd again. This is getting ridiculous. I was gonna say something but I felt weird correcting a guy. So after I got mis-gendered I went to wall-mart and got a haircut. I'm getting quit frustrated getting mis-gendered so many times after being over 1 year on T.  It's just freaking ridiculous!!!!!  I died inside after the guy called me "her" and I was dressed completely male.

I'm sorry the video is not clear. But does my voice pass as male?
Voice check

[Nygeel]

You do have a nasally voice where it sort of sounds like you have a cold as opposed to a deep voice. Couldn't see much detail in the video.

[caseyyy]

I think it may be your voice. It can be read as male, but I've heard a few women that fall into that range.

[poptart]

You mentioned your height; how tall are you?

You look male in the video and your voice is in a male range, although I can see it being mistaken for a stereotypical gay male's voice because of the soft undertones. Try speaking from your chest instead of throat.

You don't appear to have female mannerisms. So my guess is your height or your body type/shape (however I can not determine what those are from the video).

[Adio]

You do have a nasally voice where it sort of sounds like you have a cold as opposed to a deep voice. Couldn't see much detail in the video.

I agree with this.  Your voice is kind of high and could be contributing to your being misgendered.  If it happens before you speak, I'm not sure but it could be your body shape.  Hard to tell from that video though.  Is there no way for you to post a higher quality video?  Or even full body pics in good lighting?

[supremecatoverlord]

As others have said, your voice is a little nasally and on the high end...still, I would definitely read it as male. I don't know what to tell you, Dominick.

[Dominick_81]

Thanks guys.

@poptart: I'm about 4'10. The endo doctor told me when she felt my stomach that it was a male stomach. I'm not sure how to explain this right, but but my stomach has changed over to male stomach/shape according to my endo doctor.

I'm not sure how to speak from my chest...? I hate that my voice sounds like I'm gay. I don't want people thinking I'm a gay guy b/c of my voice. I try to talk deeper but it doesn't sound natural and can't always keep my voice deep when I talk. Based on my voice and how I present would you think I was gay?

@Adio: I'm not very comfortable with posting full body pics as of now. Maybe when I'm in shape I will, lol. I'm using my ipod video. I'm not sure why it didn't come out clear, usually they come out clearer than this....?

[Adio]

@Adio: I'm not very comfortable with posting full body pics as of now. Maybe when I'm in shape I will, lol. I'm using my ipod video. I'm not sure why it didn't come out clear, usually they come out clearer than this....?

I totally understand that.  It could just be the lighting of where you're taking the video.  Most of your pictures are decent quality.  Video can get like that sometimes though when uploading.  I wish I knew what to tell you.  Pretty sure someone mentioned it before (maybe Paul/Squirrel) about having more self-confidence and increasing your chances of being gendered correctly.  I know it can feel weird correcting people, but that may be necessary to be seen for whom you really are.

[Dominick_81]

I totally understand that.  It could just be the lighting of where you're taking the video.  Most of your pictures are decent quality.  Video can get like that sometimes though when uploading.  I wish I knew what to tell you.  Pretty sure someone mentioned it before (maybe Paul/Squirrel) about having more self-confidence and increasing your chances of being gendered correctly.  I know it can feel weird correcting people, but that may be necessary to be seen for whom you really are.

I would have corrected him, but I felt very uncomfortable correcting another male with other people around. I dunno, but it's  harder to correct a male than to correct a female, I don't know I feel this way. I just think well he's a male, he can probably tell the difference, I dunno.

[supremecatoverlord]

I would have corrected him, but I felt very uncomfortable correcting another male with other people around. I dunno, but it's  harder to correct a male than to correct a female, I don't know I feel this way. I just think well he's a male, he can probably tell the difference, I dunno.

The lack of self confidence you seem to have could be partially why you keep getting mis-gendered. Typically, men aren't assumed to be meek and passive. It almost seems like you feel like you're inferior to someone who was born a bio-guy and therefore he has the right to tell you what you should be. I could be totally off, but if this is the way you feel know that you don't deserve to feel that way and you need to try to look at yourself in a better light than that. I know it can be hard to stand up for yourself, but believe me, showing a little confidence can make a huge difference. I used to let my ex try to define who I was and now I'm about 100x more self-conscious than I used be because of that. Still, at the same time, I realized you can't let other people tell you who you are or what you're supposed to be. At the end of the day, only you can know who you truly are and that should count for something.

[Dominick_81]

The lack of self confidence you seem to have could be partially why you keep getting mis-gendered. Typically, men aren't assumed to be meek and passive. It almost seems like you feel like you're inferior to someone who was born a bio-guy and therefore he has the right to tell you what you should be. I could be totally off, but if this is the way you feel know that you don't deserve to feel that way and you need to try to look at yourself in a better light than that. I know it can be hard, but believe me, showing a little confidence can make a huge difference.

I'm not sure. I keep thinking maybe it's my height. But would you always assume if a guy is 4'10 he's a girl? I look in the mirror and I don't see female. I don't know what features on my face are girlie...? It would be more like can't tell if your male or female kinda thing. I don't think my features are manly or girlie, it's kinda in the middle.

Ya know how some bio guys when they get called a girl, they don't say anything, they just brush it off and think okay that person need glasses or something. That's kinda what I did. But inside I was dying. 

[insideontheoutside]

I'm going to say it might be a confidence thing as well. Or just how you carry yourself. You look male, and I've always thought so. And your voice I think is in range. Being short isn't always a deal breaker. I see plenty of pretty short guys now that I actually pay attention.

But if you think about it, not many other guys would put up with something like that - they'd probably give the other guy a weird look, and say something like, "I'm not female".

Also, we all can't see how you walk or gestures or anything like that - especially in a candid, out-in-public situation (you could always take a vid but that wouldn't be candid).

[Dominick_81]

@insideontheoutside: I thought some guys just shrug it off and don't say anything, so that's kinda what I was doing.