I'm going to regret this

[K Style Addiction]

I'm soo going to regret starting another thread but i have to vent somewhere, i feel so ugly and feel like nobody would ever want me, like i'm so unattractive....i look at my avatar and what i see looks so freakin' ugly to me i can't take it, i wish i didn't feel this way and i wasn't this way, i just wish i could be happy...crazy DonnaTroy at it again 

[JenJen2011]

You seriously need to seek some professional help. Creating thread after thread is not helping in any way. It's just repetitive. No matter what I or anyone here says won't help so please go see a therapist. Depression is a disease that can be cured.

[K Style Addiction]

Creating thread after thread is not helping in any way.

I know , i know probably only a professional can help but i'm just venting....there's so much silence in my house...i needed to have my voice somewhere.

[Sephirah]

It's okay hon. It's better to get these things out rather than keeping them brooding inside you. That does far more damage.

*gives you a big hug*

Take it at a pace you feel comfortable, okay? You know inside what steps you need to take, but also you know what you feel able to do. Until then, this board was made for people to vent and get things out that eat away at them inside.

If I could ask, why do you think you feel the way you do? I know that's a big question and one you may not immediately know the answer to, but maybe it would help to have a think about where some of these thoughts and feelings are coming from.

*extra hug*

You have as much of a voice here as you need, honey, okay? Don't forget that. This site is for support, and sometimes some people need it more than others. You will get past this, but until then, know that you're not alone, and there are people here who will listen to you, and provide whatever help and support they are able, even if that is just listening to you.

[K Style Addiction]

Thank you so much, i can't answer that question very well but i was always insecure for all my life. I just feel like i'm so ugly, i want this feeling to go away, i wish someone would tell me i'm not and make the pain go away, i wish i was brave and not a monster.

[Sephirah]

Thank you so much, i can't answer that question very well but i was always insecure for all my life. I just feel like i'm so ugly, i want this feeling to go away, i wish someone would tell me i'm not and make the pain go away, i wish i was brave and not a monster.

Honey look at what you've achieved. You've done things that a large majority of people in a similar situation are too scared to do, and live with that for their whole lives. Is that not being brave? Knowing what wasn't right about yourself and taking the steps to make it right, against all the odds... is that not brave?

Maybe it's just me, but that seems like the bravest thing someone can ever do.

I'd like to ask a few more questions if that's okay. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but just have a think about them.

Firstly, why do you think you're a monster? That's... well, forgive me for saying so but that's not a word one normally uses about themselves without being given it from elsewhere. Have people said that to you? If so, what kind of people were they?

Secondly, what about you do you feel is 'ugly'?

You know, insecurity sometimes comes from not having the inner strength to know who you are. Like... someone in a vast sea, holding onto a little piece of wood, you know? Considering where you are in your life, it's my belief that you already have that inner strength in spades, maybe you just can't see it. If I could ask, though, what do you feel would give you that security? What would give you the feeling of being sure of yourself?

You say you wish someone would tell you that you're not ugly to make the pain go away. Do you feel that you value what people say to you a lot maybe? That you need reassurance? And... well, I don't really know how to ask this other than to just ask it so... do people tell you the opposite of what you wish they would? Like... do people tell you that you're ugly?

I'm sorry for all the questions, I'm just trying to understand where this is coming from, and it would help if I knew a little more about you. *hug* Like I say, you don't have to answer, but maybe it would make you feel better to see if you can get to the bottom of these dark feelings. Who knows, that might be a big step towards making them go away.

[K Style Addiction]

I'm just feeling bad like nobody would even flirt with me (irl) less want me as a girlfriend.

Honey look at what you've achieved. You've done things that a large majority of people in a similar situation are too scared to do, and live with that for their whole lives. Is that not being brave? Knowing what wasn't right about yourself and taking the steps to make it right, against all the odds... is that not brave?

Maybe it's just me, but that seems like the bravest thing someone can ever do.

Thank You

Firstly, why do you think you're a monster? That's... well, forgive me for saying so but that's not a word one normally uses about themselves without being given it from elsewhere. Have people said that to you? If so, what kind of people were they?

My mother used to call me that in the past, maybe subconsciously it got to me.

Secondly, what about you do you feel is 'ugly'?

Irl nobody has shown interest or even flirt with me, maybe that's it....feeling the isolation and loneliness got me.

You know, insecurity sometimes comes from not having the inner strength to know who you are. Like... someone in a vast sea, holding onto a little piece of wood, you know? Considering where you are in your life, it's my belief that you already have that inner strength in spades, maybe you just can't see it. If I could ask, though, what do you feel would give you that security? What would give you the feeling of being sure of yourself?

Maybe feeling loved, wanted and liked.

You say you wish someone would tell you that you're not ugly to make the pain go away. Do you feel that you value what people say to you a lot maybe? That you need reassurance? And... well, I don't really know how to ask this other than to just ask it so... do people tell you the opposite of what you wish they would? Like... do people tell you that you're ugly?

Nobody ever said that to be honest, but i like i have stated above my reasons for feeling this way plus i live in Asia where 5'11 for a woman is considered an amazon.

I'm sorry for all the questions, I'm just trying to understand where this is coming from, and it would help if I knew a little more about you. *hug* Like I say, you don't have to answer, but maybe it would make you feel better to see if you can get to the bottom of these dark feelings. Who knows, that might be a big step towards making them go away.

No, it's okay.

[April Dawne]

You're beautiful. Plain and simple. People have told me the same thing, and I never believed them. I still saw the "me" that I had always seen, which in my mind was a freak. I understand the feeling of not seeing what others claim to see, and not believing them; but you ARE beautiful. One day you will learn to see yourself as you truly are. It takes time, effort, and SELF love. You must learn to love yourself, and that can be the hardest part of all. But it CAN be done. 

You are beautiful 

[K Style Addiction]

Thanks .

[rosetyler]

I just feel like i'm so ugly

You aren't. 

[K Style Addiction]

i probably am not pretty either, or am i wrong too? 

[Constance]

I can relate to your comment "there's so much silence in my house." In 2008 when I first started exploring gender identity, my wife of 20 years at that point told me that even if I needed to transition she'd never leave me.

As of 8 February 2012, we become officially divorced not long after our 23rd wedding anniversary.

When I look at your avatar, I see a beautiful woman. Truly, I do.

I, too, think that you should try to find professional help. I am not qualified to diagnose, but it seems to me that you might be suffering from clinical depression.

We're here for you, but there's only so much we can do.

[K Style Addiction]

Thank you so much, too much silence can literally drive one crazy

[Constance]

Thank you so much, too much silence can literally drive one crazy

Yes, it can.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[Kitty_Babe]

I'm soo going to regret starting another thread but i have to vent somewhere, i feel so ugly and feel like nobody would ever want me, like i'm so unattractive....i look at my avatar and what i see looks so freakin' ugly to me i can't take it, i wish i didn't feel this way and i wasn't this way, i just wish i could be happy...crazy DonnaTroy at it again 

Look at MY avatar, now do you feel ugly ? no ? - good. Your NOT ugly, you look fine. When ever you feel ugly, look at my avatar - then you will feel much better. There is always some on in the world more ugly than you think yourself.

[supremecatoverlord]

Donna, people here have told you that you are pretty so many times. Stop trying to assume the least flattering option from the compliments people give you here. It's clear that we think you are a beautiful woman.

[K Style Addiction]

Stop trying to assume the least flattering option from the compliments people give you here

What do you mean by that??

[supremecatoverlord]

What do you mean by that??

When people say you're not ugly, you assume that can't mean that you're attractive - when that's usually exactly what people mean. I've notice that - that's all.

[K Style Addiction]

Oh ok, i really didn't understand the statement . Thanks Jason.

Look at MY avatar, now do you feel ugly ? no ? - good. Your NOT ugly, you look fine. When ever you feel ugly, look at my avatar - then you will feel much better. There is always some on in the world more ugly than you think yourself.

Don't talk like that, i can't see an avatar but i'm sure you're fine .

[Kitty_Babe]

no I deleted it (sorry).. Your fine any way either way. So stop it