Was HRT/transitioning a panacea for your depression?

[Ultimus]

I experience depression that feels insurmountable. It manifests itself in me not being interested in anything and not enjoying anything. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for the past 2.5 years, and we have tried every medicine in the book (over 20+). Currently I'm on five psychiatric medicines (Celexa, Welbutrin, Xanax, Saphris, Fanapt), but nothing helps.

What if the depression subconsciously stems from inadequate gender expression? I don't actively tell myself, "I am depressed because I have gender issues," but what if that is the underlying subconscious cause?

How did HRT/transitioning help your depression, if at all?

[Joelene9]

JD,
  I've been on 4 other drugs not mentioned in your list.  They had not done the good that my HRT has done with my depression.  I am over 1 year depression free.  I still get those mood swings, but they last hours instead of days, weeks or months and not as many.  Some other cases mentioned here said that the HRT did increase the episodes of depression.  This differs from person to person.  Your doctor may change your antidepressant regime when you're on HRT.  Also you would have to be weaned off of those drugs properly.  You are talking about a lot of changes that may be difficult for you when you realize them. 

What if the depression subconsciously stems from inadequate gender expression? I don't actively tell myself, "I am depressed because I have gender issues," but what if that is the underlying subconscious cause?

Not only was my depression had to do with my own gender question, it was also due to be inadequate as a person because of the gender identity problem I had to hide. 
  Joelene

[Jeneva]

When I started Estrogen I was able to pull myself out of a really dark place.  It did eventually come back due to other factors [extremely stressful job and my grandmother (adoptive mother) had terminal cancer] and I started on generic Paxil.  The paxil has helped TONS with both depression and anxiety.

So yes I feel that HRT was a great benefit for me, but also realize that part of that depression was because I felt I was trapped in the closet and would never progress.  So it is possible that the HRT itself didn't help with my depression issues, but just feeling as if I were moving forward did.  I can't really quantify the impact of the estrogen itself.

[envie]

I haven't been on any drugs for my depression prior to the HRT. I refused to take them as I feared it would change my personality. I finally agreed to my counselor's advices to take a minimal dose of HRT as it might greatly improve my mental state. I still didn't believe it but had no other options left. (Yes, I was resisting to take the HRT because of my rebellious nature...)
I took the pills in the evening and went to sleep. The testosterone blocker made my stomach upset but I felt this almost unnatural sense of happiness. It was not logical to me at the time but slowly I realized that change in hormone levels greatly and instantaneously improved my mental state.
But having said that I'd be precocious to raise great expectations of HRT being the ultimate anti depressant for every one. As far as I was told, trying out a small dose doesn't hurt.
good luck!

[nicole99]

It helped me.  I am still bipolar. My moods are because of a mood disorder, but the dysphoria was a real trigger. It took me to some very black places.

Definitly the lows are nowhere near as low as they were.

Definilty being trans, suffering from dysphoria, is very hard on your mood. It could make the most stable person unbalanced.

[Felix]

I'm going in the opposite direction of course, but HRT and transition helped me a lot. I still have nightmares and stuff, but I'm way happier, way more stable, and I have a lot more confidence and less fatalism.

[justmeinoz]

Realising that I had been ignoring and repressing my true identity for 40+ years and that I could actually live an authentic life caused my depression to begin lifting immediately. 
It had well and truly gone by the time I started HRT,  but that lifted my mood from flat to happy.  Depression has not recurred, despite a few personal setbacks that would have crushed me for days previously.

Karen.

[Alainaluvsu]

Much, much better.. and it didn't hit me until about month 2 or so when I said.. "Wow... I've been in such a good mood lately!! For no reason at all, too!!" I do get my mood swings (my estradiol levels are out of control and we haven't found the dosage that makes my levels sane) but they aren't depressions, more like "sleep it off and be better" moments. This is great because ever since I was 10, on a daily basis I've wished to God to take me off this planet but I haven't wished that NEARLY as much. It only occurs now when I get sir'd a hundred times a day lol... Go figure

[Constance]

For me, accepting I was trans helped alleviate much of my depression, depression that lasted for about 30 years. Beginning transition, even just going out en femme, helped even more.

Starting HRT coincided with divorce proceedings starting, so that's bittersweet. The hormones are helping me feel more like me, but losing my marriage is the single greatest tragedy in my life. The only thing that would be worse would be the death of 1 or both of my kids. But, I digress.

Short story long, my answer would have to be Yes and No.

[Trans Truth]

For me, transitioning ended my depression. I even know somebody who never took hormones, and just physically living as their preferred gender cured their depression.

[Raya]

Wellbutrin helped me back away from the brink of suicide. It enabled me to start seeking therapy and making use of it, but like you it wasn't enough. I'd say HRT, coupled with acceptance of who I am and making the decision to transition, is what finally allowed me to master it.

I couldn't call it a panacea. That's mostly because I look at depression the way some look at alcoholism: it'll always be with you; you can't cure it as much as control it.

These days, I do get these depressive episodes every once in awhile, but they're all centered around my fears of a "successful" transition. Lately, they've been quite bad, but that's mostly because my mind is aching for me to move up to being consistently part-time. Still, I feel like I can work through them and come out the other side better than I was. They're worlds better than the months-long suicidal torpors I knew before.

Right now, I'm taking both anti-depressants and HRT. When I'm in a better place, I'm gonna see how I do with the HRT alone.

[Felix]

Careful Felix - that is just 'T' working. Soon you will be convinced that you are the world's best driver, can drink 10 pints of beer with no ill effects and that you are utterly irresistible to any women who may lay eyes on you.

The delusion ends when you try to impress watching females by leaping tall buildings in a single bound....



Beverley

There is an element of this. I've injured myself a couple of times trying to show off and forgetting I'm not 17.