Do bigender go out in public when in fem mode, in fem attire?

[Kendall]

I was wondering if this is the ultimate goal , to when one mode or the other, fully switch  and go in public. And if passing when in female mode is a goal.

Maybe Marq and Mia can reveal more or any other bigender identified androgyne.

[Attis]

Hmm I would prefer just being me, more or less a mixture of what I like and what I am. I can't explain it any other way. At least that's for me.

-- Bridget

[Mia and Marq]

Could you reword your question? I'm having a little trouble understanding the wording.

Oh and Attis, I like the picture.
I think I could try an answer from the subject. Correctly me if I'm on the wrong path.

Mia and Marq have come to an agreement be it fair or not, that doesn't really matter because we're happy with it. In general any time I spend outside of the house, my attire is chosen by Marq. Any time I spend in the house, my attire is chosen by Mia. Given one body, we have to make the best of what we were given. One of us is always going to "not look the part". If things were reversed and I had a female body, one of us would still not look like we are inside. So we make the best of what we do have since one of us will always be not in the right form. That having been said, if I were going to divide my time up, as long as I give both time to express their style, its better to let the one whose body matches pick most of what I wear outside around others. It raises less questions. People who enter my house though need to be ready for what I wear there.

Bigendered people, or atleast I switch from Marq to Mia at a near constant pace for the situation, sometimes changing in mid sentence even. Therefore I do not have a fem mode because I'm never in one mode or the other long enough to label it that mode. Taking into consideration that I don't really have a fem mode, would I like to go out in fem attire more often? I think for the most part our agreement suites both of us pretty good. Now of course there are plenty of opportunities that arise which I use to our advantage such as Halloween and themed nights for my friday social group.

Perhaps one day when its more socially acceptable we'll split outside time up between us, but for now we're both getting what we want. Plenty of people come over to appreciate Mia's fashion sense so its not like I'm hiding part of me, just limiting the stranger stare factor.

If I missed the mark with my response let me know.

Marq and Mia
Two for one deal!

[Kendall]

Yep thats exactly what my wording meant. Mainly just to talk more about bigender in the section here.

Just being brief atm. Her son's dog just got hit by a car.

[Mia and Marq]

Yeah see I get the impression like we're few and far between which is fine I guess since that makes me all the more special. I just don't want to keep making posts about myselfs. Its one thing to respond to questions directed at me and its another to try and toot my own horn. So there you have it, ask away on the questions so I don't just babble in my own posts.

Marq and Mia

[Laurry]

Come on M&M, if you could toot your own horn, you'd never leave the house  >

Seriously, tho, I greatly enjoy your posts and your willingness to share your thoughts and life with us.  I'm not sure how many bigenders we have on this board, but listening to how you allow both personas to express themselves (and just the whole process of being bigendered) fascinates me.  You are quite a remarkable person.

It is understandable how talking about yourself all the time can get old, or give people the wrong impression about who you are.  Find that within that cries out to be shared, and if you feel like doing so, share it.  For other things, do what makes you happy, or what you feel is "Right".

And since the gate was left open on asking questions...
- What did Marq have for breakfast, and did Mia make him do his own dishes?
- How many of Mia's clothes does Marq wear, and vice versa?
- If you had to pick only one of something, would Marq or Mia pick it out?  (And don't wuss out and say it depends)

Aww, I'm just messing with you.  I do have one serious question, tho...I understand that 99.9% of the time, Marq and Mia coexist very well.  However, when one really digs in their heels and refuses to compromise, is it Marq or Mia who generally has the final word?  (I'm just trying to figure out if it is like many relationships where the female generally rules the roost, but may let the male THINK he does.)

.......Laurie

[Dryad]

I mostly go out in 'Dryad-mode,' meaning army-trousers (Male or female; as long as it fits and isn't too tight) and a t-shirt. (Again; male or female; doesn't really matter, as long as it doesn't have print on it. I like female shirts, because they're more tightly fit, and put some emphasis on my male shoulders and muscles, and my female hour-glass-figure.)

When people see my back, they usually think me female, and I got a whistle or two... But when they see my front, and realise my boobs are pretty damn small, they look up to a male face, and start blushing, if they were the ones doing the whistling.

[Mia and Marq]

Laurie,

We do appreciate your compliments. Between the two of us, we have a lot of opinions but I think our opinions generally aren't significant enough to post on most of the topics I see here. I too would be interested to know how many people actually identify as being bigendered. I'm usually too hesitant to ask anyone if they do because sometimes people try to simplify the idea to make it sound trivial and its not. Perhaps I will set up a post soon to recognize those who identify as being bigendered.

I do certainly plan to share my opinion where I've actually got something to say.


<quote>
And since the gate was left open on asking questions...
- What did Marq have for breakfast, and did Mia make him do his own dishes?
- How many of Mia's clothes does Marq wear, and vice versa?
- If you had to pick only one of something, would Marq or Mia pick it out?  (And don't wuss out and say it depends)
</quote>
We had cheerios and I did rinse out the dish before it went in the sink.
Well according to what I said above, whenever its Mia's turn to pick out attire, Marq goes along for the ride all the time, so All of It.
Your next question confused me. I think you were asking who makes the choice if I only have one choice to make. It depends. I can't say I see any trends forming where one gets priority on choices made. Thus if I really only had one choice to make, whichever was most qualified to make the choice would probably make it, or it would be a joint choice. In which case they would have to both agree on the choice. So there.


<quote>I do have one serious question, tho...I understand that 99.9% of the time, Marq and Mia coexist very well.  However, when one really digs in their heels and refuses to compromise, is it Marq or Mia who generally has the final word?  (I'm just trying to figure out if it is like many relationships where the female generally rules the roost, but may let the male THINK he does.)
</quote>
Its finally you should mention this last question because I had an interesting experience today. I was driving home from work and the gas tank was getting towards Empty. Usually I just drive the car till the warning light comes on and the car starts to sputter. The following conversation occured mostly in my head back and forth but I'm sure some of it was spoken aloud.
Mia: We should stop, we need gas and the gas station is coming up soon
Marq: We always drive the car till its about to stall
Mia: But now is a good time to get gas, we'll be late later today when we leave for work and have to stop for gas
Marq: Well I'm just going to drive right past it
Mia: You know I have just as much control over what we do as you
Marq: We'll see, I'm gonna drive straight past
Mia: We'll see us pull into the gas station
Marq: Oh here it comes, gonna pass it!

There was a slight pause as the turn lane came up for the gas station but needless to say we stopped for gas. The moral of the story is Mia rules! So maybe that last thing you were saying may be the truth.

Actually to address your question in a more serious way, as far as digging in the heels, if one feels strongly enough about something, they're going to do what they want to do. I don't usually experience them taking horribly opposing stances and so its not really an issue. As a matter of fact, I can't think of anything off the top of my head that they take opposite views on and both feel equally as strongly on the view. In general, what little conflict I might experience, its generally little things just keep things interesting.

I did want to also throw in that they bet against each other alot. Its kind of weird. I can't really formalize any structure to this other then saying that it usually in the form of "IF you can't .... then I get to ....." but then rarely are these bets ever actually held to.

Next question please.
Marq and Mia
Just the two of us

[Aurelia]

You seem to suggest that Marq and Mia are entirely seperate, personality-wise. Is this so, or are Marq and Mia in fact just a masculine and feminine personification of "you", that tend to "seem" seperate, despite being bound to similarity by the fact that it's your mind?
If it's the latter, I may well be bigender. I'm not really sure. I don't know if it's necessary to distinguish.

[Shana A]

During RLT in 1993-4, I dressed in female attire with at least some small hope of passing. After a while, passing became unimportant to me, and I'd sometimes wear a mix of male and female clothing. Most often now my usual mode is just jeans and flannel shirts (I live in New England) but I still enjoy wearing colorful skirts occasionally.

zythyra

[andy6432668]

I'm male but only wear women's clothes been doing it so long I don't have any problems I will even wear a jean or corduroy skirt occasionally in public.

[Mia and Marq]

Its not just a male and female personification, its a girl and a boy "living together" in one body. Like two seperate souls that just share a body. They have different personalities entirely. Theres not real easy way to define conciousness because physically its just electrical pulses in the brain. Because conciousness is somewhat abstract, its not impossible for two to exist within one body.

The question might be posed well could there be more then two or do they have to be always one male and one female. Probably, but without significant differences between the two existing, its doubtful the realization would ever occur because its not the norm. It took myself the better part of my life to finally piece together the clues. If whenever you look at two colored pieces of paper and you only know the color red, it doesn't matter that the two pieces are different colors because you only know one color. One day when you learn what the two colors really are can you identify they're both not red. Theres my bad analogy.

M&M