Hey ladies, I'm new here so I hope this isn't too off topic because it's not really me passing in a situation but it's a event that I will never forget, as long a I live.
A itsy bit of background information: It's almost been two weeks since I came to terms with myself regarding my gender and what I need to do from now on, haven't came out to friends or family but I did so, sort of anonymously to the world through my blog and online activity.
Ok, so to the little story I wanted to tell you. It happened about 4 days after I've decided what I am and what I need to do. I was watching TV with my mom in the kitchen, discussing the various subjects on the news, smoking a cigarette and enjoying our post lunch siesta. Out of nowhere she turns around looks at me smiling, I say nothing but maintain eye contact with a sort of "whut?" look on my face and in a few seconds she said exactly this "you have the beautiful eyes a girl would be jealous of, you doll" Now you can deffinately immagine how I felt when that came from my mom, the person who I care about the most in this world. So top this with the fact that I just had my "revelation" moment a few days back, the fact that I don't think there's anything beautiful about me (lifelong low self esteem, guess where was that originating from?) and with the fact that it really was a honest compliment coming from her.
But wait, it gets better. I have brown eyes. Until the age of 10 months to a year I had blue eyes that then turned brown. (hearing this from her a few years back drove me into a full depression because as I thought I didn't like anything about myself and if only I could've kept the blue eyes there would've been atleast one thing I'd like about myself) So I remembered she told me this while I was writing a blog post about what my mom said and I thought to myself "hey, during transition I'll most likely hit the surgery room at least once so isn't there some sort of surgical intervention or something that could make me have blue eyes again?" I googled and there it was, waiting for me. It turns out that there is a doctor in the U.S. that can make brown eyes turn blue with a 20 second, 100% safe laser intervention. And the reason why this is possible: ALL brown eyed people have in fact blue eyes, the brown color is just a thin layer of pigment on top of the natural blue. The downside is that it's pricey, around 5000$ so that's going to take a while to put together that money but to be honest I'd even pay 50.000$ in a heartbeat. I'll "flirt" with contacts until then.
The next day, I snapped a few photos of my eyes, did a pretty hasty modification in photoshop to turn my eyes blue and there it was, the first, small glimpse of my true female self. I was overcome by all sorts of emotions, I didn't cry (until later) but I had "the butterflies" in my stomach going wild. This is what I saw:
