The New you know you pass when

[YinYanga]

Pheww, nice to hear about those good experiences Allyda

[MaryXYX]

so you stay silent because you pass?

In that context - learning disabled service users - yes.

I spent today at the "Wilderness" festival wearing my TG badge.  I got into several conversations where I established that I am an ordinary friendly woman, then told the person what the badge means.  That's the way I usually use "passing privilege".

[Allyda]

Pheww, nice to hear about those good experiences Allyda

Actually this one was a bit more scary than it was good.

Ali

[YinYanga]

Actually this one was a bit more scary than it was good.

Ali

That particulair one yes, but overall the reactions have been nice, right?

I hope it remains that way and happens more and more often

[Allyda]

That particulair one yes, but overall the reactions have been nice, right?

I hope it remains that way and happens more and more often

Oh yes, with the exception of a few incidents non trans related reactions from others have been and are very nice. More so than I ever expected. I have to say that for me the biggest thing I wasn't prepared for, though my friends warned me from the start, is being found somewhat attractive and getting asked out/hit on by men. I always thought ladies my age were overlooked by men in favor of younger quarry -I was wrong. But yes, other than a few isolated incidents the reaction from others toward me has been nothing but positive. Mostly I'm just treated like one of the girls by my neighbors and friends, and those who know about my history have so far kept it to themselves.

Ali

[LizMarie]

Welcome to the club, Allyda. My therapist warned me of this shortly after I told her I was "99%" time (full time everywhere except work and I only go in to the office every other Monday). She said, "You are an attractive woman and you're going to get hit on by guys. You better start thinking about how you want to address that." Apparently the look on my face was a perfect "deer in the headlights" moment because as she looked at me she began to laugh (in a good natured friendly way) and said, "You haven't thought about this yet, have you? Shall we discuss it?" And yes, we did discuss it.

[Allyda]

Welcome to the club, Allyda. My therapist warned me of this shortly after I told her I was "99%" time (full time everywhere except work and I only go in to the office every other Monday). She said, "You are an attractive woman and you're going to get hit on by guys. You better start thinking about how you want to address that." Apparently the look on my face was a perfect "deer in the headlights" moment because as she looked at me she began to laugh (in a good natured friendly way) and said, "You haven't thought about this yet, have you? Shall we discuss it?" And yes, we did discuss it.

For me especially since I've gotten older, I just  never saw myself as attractive. So getting hit on and asked out by sometimes even persistent men was the furthest thing from my mind. I only thought about it briefly when my concerned friends would tell me I was attractive, but then I dismissed what they said as them just being nice. Needless to say I'm getting a lot of 'I told you so's' lately though I still struggle to see what others are seeing.

Ali

[Emmaline]

I just walked into a medical center, dressed in jeans, a blue hoody and a grey puffy body warmer.

a rude lady pushed in the queue and the nurse behind the desk pointed at me and shouted 'hey, this lady is next.'

I just love hormones.  They are the bestest things ever.

[MaryXYX]

"Scruffy woman" is so much better than androgynous - unsure.  Do you find it easier to pass in jeans and hoody?
I prefer something closer to "elegant mature woman" but we all have to do what feels right for us.

[georgie]

I'm in my car in a strip mall parking lot, I'm in male mode (though my hair is very curly, there is plenty of 5 o'clock shadow) , I have on a light yellow t-shirt.  A guy slightly older than me in his macho sports car whistles at me as he slowly drives by.  I'll take that as a compliment.  : )

[Emmaline]

I was basically guy mode! 

I plan to part time in boho skirts, elegant tops and sweaters- which should suit a thirty something artist lesbian and certainly should make a clear gender statement.

[Emmaline]

I would take it as a compliment for sure.  You go!

[Shantel]

This isn't really a pass because there's no way I would ever pass, it was more of an insulting comment from my sister-in-law who hasn't seen me for several years.

She said, "You look like a girl!"

[MaryXYX]

Georgie: Take care of that five o'clock shadow and stop having a "male mode"!
Emmaline: Artist lesbian is fine.
Shantel: Probably intended as an insult, but if you could just reply "Thank you" it would turn it around.

[Jay27]

I was in guy-mode today, and when I went into the women's restroom everyone was staring at me. A few little girls were pointing at me as well. Good to know that I can pass as a male when I want to!

[Adam (birkin)]

A guy I know at work came out as gender questioning to myself and a woman I work with, and I listened and talked to him about his feelings on his gender and stuff. When he left, she looked directly at me and said "I can't believe how calm you were and how you didn't seem shocked at all. As if it was normal. I mean, given the nature of what he just told you."

Soooo glad I didn't come out at my jobs. -_- I stood up for him of course, but I know if I did so by outing myself I'd never be treated in the same regard as I am now, which is sad.

[Shantel]

A guy I know at work came out as gender questioning to myself and a woman I work with, and I listened and talked to him about his feelings on his gender and stuff. When he left, she looked directly at me and said "I can't believe how calm you were and how you didn't seem shocked at all. As if it was normal. I mean, given the nature of what he just told you."

Soooo glad I didn't come out at my jobs. -_- I stood up for him of course, but I know if I did so by outing myself I'd never be treated in the same regard as I am now, which is sad.

True, but interesting revelation for you, kind of like being the fly on the wall taking it all in like a third party observer.

[Adam (birkin)]

It's true, it kind of makes me wonder what people said about me behind my back when I was pre-transition.

[Shantel]

It's true, it kind of makes me wonder what people said about me behind my back when I was pre-transition.

Probably wasn't pretty, but ignorance creates those negative responses until they are enlightened, usually it isn't intended as malicious when they are first confronted and confused buy the situation and at a loss for what to say.

[lostnostalgist]

i had my first experience where i thought i MIGHT have passed to more than like, one person, a few months ago.

i was at target and i was asking about a shaving product (shave secret, its great btw) and the woman who worked there asked me if it was a waxing product???

like, idk, are there a lot of guys who wax these days? or was i passing?