The New you know you pass when

[Danielle Emmalee]

Not sure I would count this as "passing" as cis, but its a pretty funny story I thought.  When I went to the registry to hand in my name change application, I saw this girl working at the counter who was pretty good friends with my wife and we had talked several times since we always went to her anytime we needed something at the registry since she let us jump the queue and see her right away.  So I did the same and went right up to her at the counter and said hi and put my name change application on the counter.  She seemed to look at me like I was familiar but wasn't sure who I was.  So I asked her "you have no idea who I am, do you?"  She tried to come up with something, "I helped you before with a name change application, right?" "Ummm, nope" I replied with a little laugh.  "I'm married to ≤wife's name>".  I have never seen someone's eyes open so wide and jaw drop like that ever before.  Maybe not a pass, but definitely don't look anything like I did before.

[ainsley]

Yesterday my Dad had to go to the emergency room for issues related to his prostate cancer.  My wife and I went over there on our lunch hour to see him and support my mother.  My father comes over for coffee this AM and tells me that when he was there he told the Dr. I was coming to see him.  The Dr. looked in the waiting room and then tells my Dad, "No, it looks like a couple of your daughters are here."  Ha!  So, I: 1) passed to the Dr. and 2) Foiled my Dad who obviously told the Dr. his son was coming over.  (He still has trouble saying his daughter to people, even though he uses female pronouns in my presence and uses my new legal name exclusively.)

[Tessa James]

Yesterday my Dad had to go to the emergency room for issues related to his prostate cancer.  My wife and I went over there on our lunch hour to see him and support my mother.  My father comes over for coffee this AM and tells me that when he was there he told the Dr. I was coming to see him.  The Dr. looked in the waiting room and then tells my Dad, "No, it looks like a couple of your daughters are here."  Ha!  So, I: 1) passed to the Dr. and 2) Foiled my Dad who obviously told the Dr. his son was coming over.  (He still has trouble saying his daughter to people, even though he uses female pronouns in my presence and uses my new legal name exclusively.)

Third person veracity and justice

[antonia]

When you are at a transgender conference and people think you are a significant other, should have just gone with it 

[Damara]

When you go to pick up your first hormone prescription and the pharmacists think they're for "a guy." My old name was on them (The changing process is taking forever) and they were asking me all these questions about "him" and if he was male.. lol!

[Sydney_NYC]

After being in Florida and passing in a one piece swimsuit with no makeup and beach wind hair my confidence has been very good for my confidence. So we took a detour to East TN to take my Father In Law home so he could take care of a few things. So today we went out to eat at a local restaurant in a very small town with my sister-in-law and her husband. I'm allergic to tomatoes and when I placed my order for a roast beef sandwich I told them to leave off the tomatoes due to my allergy. When the order came in, it had tomatoes on it. I told her I ordered it without tomatoes and the waitress said she would take them off and then my sister-in-law mis-gendered me really bad when she said: "He is allergic to tomatoes and taking it off will not work. He will break out in really bad and it will make him sick to his stomach." The waitress responds: "Who are you talking about? The sandwich is for her!" pointing towards me. My sister-in-law realized the really bad mistake she made and covered herself by saying the her husband (pointing to him who was right next to her) is also allergic to tomatoes (he's not) and that she was confused.

[Sammy]

When you go to pick up your first hormone prescription and the pharmacists think they're for "a guy." My old name was on them (The changing process is taking forever) and they were asking me all these questions about "him" and if he was male.. lol!

Nice one . I went to post office last week to pick up a parcel (I only had the reference No. which they sent me via SMS, not the full summons), so I gave the office lady that ref.No. to look up, without looking at my ID, she logged into database and immediately said that I cannot pick it up because it is for "my male name" .

[barbie]

Nice one . I went to post office last week to pick up a parcel (I only had the reference No. which they sent me via SMS, not the full summons), so I gave the office lady that ref.No. to look up, without looking at my ID, she logged into database and immediately said that I cannot pick it up because it is for "my male name" .

Yes. We are living a boundary area between men's and women's. Sometimes it is convenient, causing minor problems. Otherwise, we can enjoy it.

So, how could you get your parcel eventually, Emily?

barbie~~

[Sammy]

Yes. We are living a boundary area between men's and women's. Sometimes it is convenient, causing minor problems. Otherwise, we can enjoy it.

So, how could you get your parcel eventually, Emily?

barbie~~

Well, I would not be me if I left Post Office without it . I politely asked where exactly is the problem and took out my ID. She did not even look at ID or went through that annoying picture comparison mode (I have that one usually happening in banks, when at first they are nice to You ---> then they get to see the ID --> kind of look of disbelief on their face / polite smile from my part ---> their eyes keep going back and forth from my face to picture until they reach some kind of internal decision). So, I guess she decided that either I was him or he sent me (together with his ID) to pick it up .

[ainsley]

After being in Florida and passing in a one piece swimsuit with no makeup and beach wind hair my confidence has been very good for my confidence. So we took a detour to East TN to take my Father In Law home so he could take care of a few things. So today we went out to eat at a local restaurant in a very small town with my sister-in-law and her husband. I'm allergic to tomatoes and when I placed my order for a roast beef sandwich I told them to leave off the tomatoes due to my allergy. When the order came in, it had tomatoes on it. I told her I ordered it without tomatoes and the waitress said she would take them off and then my sister-in-law mis-gendered me really bad when she said: "He is allergic to tomatoes and taking it off will not work. He will break out in really bad and it will make hime sick to his stomach." The waitress responds: "Who are you talking about? The sandwich is for her!" pointing towards me. My sister-in-law realized the really bad mistake she made and covered herself by saying the her husband (pointing to him who was right next to her) is also allergic to tomatoes (he's not) and that she was confused.

That is awesome.  Passed and a third party handled a family misgendering for you.  Solid experience!

[cindy16]

After being in Florida and passing in a one piece swimsuit with no makeup and beach wind hair my confidence has been very good for my confidence. So we took a detour to East TN to take my Father In Law home so he could take care of a few things. So today we went out to eat at a local restaurant in a very small town with my sister-in-law and her husband. I'm allergic to tomatoes and when I placed my order for a roast beef sandwich I told them to leave off the tomatoes due to my allergy. When the order came in, it had tomatoes on it. I told her I ordered it without tomatoes and the waitress said she would take them off and then my sister-in-law mis-gendered me really bad when she said: "He is allergic to tomatoes and taking it off will not work. He will break out in really bad and it will make hime sick to his stomach." The waitress responds: "Who are you talking about? The sandwich is for her!" pointing towards me. My sister-in-law realized the really bad mistake she made and covered herself by saying the her husband (pointing to him who was right next to her) is also allergic to tomatoes (he's not) and that she was confused.

That is awesome.  Passed and a third party handled a family misgendering for you.  Solid experience!

I agree. Sydney, I hope that she stops misgendering you after this incident.

[Sydney_NYC]

That is awesome.  Passed and a third party handled a family misgendering for you.  Solid experience!


I agree. Sydney, I hope that she stops misgendering you after this incident.

She felt really bad about it and I accepted her apology, but I also explained that it could have caused a dangerous situation in a small town in TN. Hopefully she will be better about it. She hasn't messed up my name in a long time and she tries to gender me correctly so I know it wasn't on purpose.

[cindy16]

She felt really bad about it and I accepted her apology, but I also explained that it could have caused a dangerous situation in a small town in TN. Hopefully she will be better about it. She hasn't messed up my name in a long time and she tries to gender me correctly so I know it wasn't on purpose.

Oh, that's nice

[barbie]

Well, I would not be me if I left Post Office without it . I politely asked where exactly is the problem and took out my ID. She did not even look at ID or went through that annoying picture comparison mode (I have that one usually happening in banks, when at first they are nice to You ---> then they get to see the ID --> kind of look of disbelief on their face / polite smile from my part ---> their eyes keep going back and forth from my face to picture until they reach some kind of internal decision). So, I guess she decided that either I was him or he sent me (together with his ID) to pick it up .

I frequently show my ID in airport or government department. Nobody has yet shown any surprising reaction yet. It was the same in international airports in foreign countries. Probably, the main reason is that I already have very long hair in my ID photo. They can easily know my sexual identity based on my first name. I even suspect whether they indeed look carefully the ID, as they should deal with so many passengers or visitors every day.

One of my ID photos (driver licence):



barbie~~

[Sammy]

I frequently show my ID in airport or government department. Nobody has yet shown any surprising reaction yet. It was the same in international airports in foreign countries. Probably, the main reason is that I already have very long hair in my ID photo. They can easily know my sexual identity based on my first name. I even suspect whether they indeed look carefully the ID, as they should deal with so many passengers or visitors every day.

One of my ID photos (driver licence):



barbie~~

My trouble is that here all names and surnames are gendered -  the actual gender marker is on the other side and I have never seen anyone flipping over ID to check it - it is enough to look at someone's name/surname to learn that person's gender. I was very very lucky that I updated my ID/passport last September due to expiry of the previous one - the picture of course is 7 months old, but people can identify that the person is me. But indeed, photos probably are the last part of documentation that those people are looking at - shortly after I updated my ID, I went to elections and was asked whether by an accident I brought my husband's passport... obviously, what they perceived did not match the name and only after I assured them that it was indeed me, they started to examine the photo for similarities. Sometimes it can be fun, but sometimes it gets annoying... 

[Jill F]

I had a good one this morning.  I had just rolled out of bed and was in the process of making coffess when there was a knock at the door.   My wife was giving away our old printer/fax and I had no idea that someone was coming for it.  I was wearing what I'd slept in, my hair was a mess and I was wearing zero makeup. 

I opened the door.
Me: "Yes?"
Her: "Hi, <wife's name>.  I'm here to pick up your printer."

Now THAT'S a pass!

[iKate]

After being in Florida and passing in a one piece swimsuit with no makeup and beach wind hair my confidence has been very good for my confidence. So we took a detour to East TN to take my Father In Law home so he could take care of a few things. So today we went out to eat at a local restaurant in a very small town with my sister-in-law and her husband. I'm allergic to tomatoes and when I placed my order for a roast beef sandwich I told them to leave off the tomatoes due to my allergy. When the order came in, it had tomatoes on it. I told her I ordered it without tomatoes and the waitress said she would take them off and then my sister-in-law mis-gendered me really bad when she said: "He is allergic to tomatoes and taking it off will not work. He will break out in really bad and it will make him sick to his stomach." The waitress responds: "Who are you talking about? The sandwich is for her!" pointing towards me. My sister-in-law realized the really bad mistake she made and covered herself by saying the her husband (pointing to him who was right next to her) is also allergic to tomatoes (he's not) and that she was confused.

Ha ha ha that is really great, a real pass if I ever heard of it!

I had no idea you were allergic to tomatoes either. I had no idea anyone was allergic to them, actually.

[Adam (birkin)]

I ran into a classmate that I kind of half knew five years ago, she was working at the post office and I had to show her my ID. She sees my unique last name and goes "hey, I knew a *last name*!  Are you related to a *birthname*?" I said "yeah I know her" and she goes "so did she ever have that transgender operation?"

I said "I dont know, she moved" lol

[Carrie Liz]

You know you pass when you're sitting in the waiting room at your therapist's office, the story about Aaron Hernandez getting sentenced to life in prison comes on the radio, and the woman sitting next to you goes on a lengthy rant to you about how she hates men, and about how 90% of all news stories are basically "some stupid man did something to hurt someone else."

Methinks I'm officially a member of the girl club, although her blatant misandry made me feel a little disgusted.

[MaryXYX]

I haven't checked, but that 90% estimate might be correct.

If it's also correct that 50% of women are sexually assaulted - welcome to the grim reality of life as a woman.  In my case only in quite minor ways, and even if they technically count as passes I don't want to count them.