The New you know you pass when

[natashaX]

Been counting nine to date
Lived in a wimans shelter for 7 months
And with shared rooms.
Asked by ambulance driver if I was pregnant or something
Men are in shock after spending half an hour with me snd I .
Say " surprise? "

[Charley Bea(EmeraldP)]

Was buying some lunch only wearing a t-shirt, jeans, ankle boots(tops were covered by jean legs) and a zipped up hoody and when the guy handed me my food he said "Here you go love" and when he handed me my fork he said "There you go love" and this was straight after my second voice therapy session and I instinctively raised my voice pitch a little but barely noticeable. That added to my good mood.

[amber roskamp]

Been counting nine to date
Lived in a wimans shelter for 7 months
And with shared rooms.
Asked by ambulance driver if I was pregnant or something
Men are in shock after spending half an hour with me snd I .
Say " surprise? "

Be careful with that last one. I don't want to see u get hurt or worse.

[MaryXYX]

After my first attempt at the pole dance in a nightclub (yes at my age) I was briefly chatted up by a lesbian.  I'm definitely counting this one!

[Jill F]

I had a fun one yesterday.

I've lived near Universal Studios since 1998 but haven't taken the tour since 1997, (and oddly enough in 1979, so apparently I do this once every 18 years) so my wife took us on the VIP tour for my birthday.   During a break, the tour guide casually asked me what I did for a living, to which I replied, "Housewife."  Then he asked me how many kids I have!

[nicolegn7]

You know you can pass when you are able to hold a conversation with a bunch of gay men and queens and they don't know tea.

[Sammy]

You cannot pass to millimeter wave airport scanner... They have installed those buggers in Frankfurt Airport now - apparently I am going to trigger them every time . On the other side, female security officer was genuinely surprised when I softly told her not to be surprised about certain parts. "You are what? (keeps patting down) Oh... So... are You male or female?" In overall, it ended very friendly and she was willing to learn, but I am really not looking forwards to have the exact same experience every time I need to pass through FraPort...

[barbie]

You cannot pass to millimeter wave airport scanner... They have installed those buggers in Frankfurt Airport now - apparently I am going to trigger them every time . On the other side, female security officer was genuinely surprised when I softly told her not to be surprised about certain parts. "You are what? (keeps patting down) Oh... So... are You male or female?" In overall, it ended very friendly and she was willing to learn, but I am really not looking forwards to have the exact same experience every time I need to pass through FraPort...

What?
I claim that it is a serious violation of privacy and human right!

barbie~~

[katiej]

This wasn't quite a pass, but I felt pretty encouraged.  I met a woman at my trans support group a couple nights ago.  We talked quite a while and at one point she asked if I was stealth at work.  I know we all have different definitions for passing and stealth.  But...stealth?  Me?  Well...for starters I'm not even out at work, and I'm still very early in transition. 

It's one thing to get the patronizing "yeah sweetie, you pass just fine (wink wink)", but being asked if you're stealth by another transwoman felt like a real compliment.  I still doubt that I really even pass in social situations, but maybe I'm farther along than I realize.

[Sammy]

What?
I claim that it is a serious violation of privacy and human right!

barbie~~

There are no human rights in the "post 9/11" era as long as airtravel security is involved . Previously, they had less sophisticated detectors, which triggered only if You had extra amount of metal/plastic on Your body (I have one top with metal buttons which sets the alarm off every time ), but then FraPort got seriously criticised by gaps in security  - private contractors while acting undercover were able to smuggle in pretty much everything they wanted and when FraPort was confronted with the unpleasant results, they immediately replaced detector frames with full body scanners. Now, it seems if You pass as female to the operator, the scanner will operate in "female mode" and if pre-op, then scanner will pick up stuff which is not supposed to be there. I guess that knowing German approach to things they will eventually introduce some guidelines and staff training when dealing with transgender passengers.
IIRC, TSA were the first ones to face this issue - if You would google "full body scanner", "milimeter wave scanner" and "transgender", there are many articles on the web which discuss the issues when travelling while being outside of the binary system (and even pre-op MtFs and FtMs would be considered outside of binary here due to anatomical discrepancies).

It's one thing to get the patronizing "yeah sweetie, you pass just fine (wink wink)", but being asked if you're stealth by another transwoman felt like a real compliment.  I still doubt that I really even pass in social situations, but maybe I'm farther along than I realize.

Nice one katie . And You actually might pass in social situations too, You are just not aware of that yet - it is difficult to be impartial and fully objective here, because how we see ourselves and how others see us is totally different (I still dont get why, but it is so). I started to pass in social situations when I was not even aware of that and sometimes did not know how to respond or even cornered myself into awkward situations. Now, I am trying to presume that I would pass in every social situation when ID is not involved and it goes along pretty well. And even then, last weekend I woke early (after past-midnight flight back home), took a quick shower, put on jeans and hoodie and took a brisk walk to post office (I never try to pass there cause people get confused when looking at me and name on my ID) - yet, despite all those efforts, I got my first ever catcall by four beer-sipping idiots (I really hated that stuff).

[V M]

Not sure if this was a pass or not...

I was talking to a younger gal at my apt.s who was wearing an AC/DC tee-shirt and commented on it

She replied "Yeah it was kinda cold this morning and this is the only long sleeved tee-shirt I have that doesn't have a bunch of skulls all over it and I can't walk around here with a bunch of skulls all on my tee-shirt"

I said it wouldn't bother me any and she replied "Yeah well, some of the other women might feel a bit bothered, especially the older ones"

I just agreed, chatted a bit longer then went on my way

[Sydney_NYC]

I think a really good pass I had this past weekend was being told "Happy Mothers Day" and today someone commented today that if I had a tall husband they wonder how tall my kids would be then asked if I had any kids.

[Sammy]

I think a really good pass I had this past weekend was being told "Happy Mothers Day" .

Yes, but this one leaves some strange aftertaste though.

[Eva Marie]

Today my BFF and I went to a ladies expo that was being held at the local convention center. It was a pretty big deal with hundreds of women there. At the same time in the same convention center there were two other major events being held - a Spanish language book fair and some kind of event held by Ru Paul.

At the end of the convention my BFF was talking to a lady that wasn't a vendor but had shown up and was selling perfumed oils. Security came by and told us we had to go because they were closing, so we all relocated outside the event at a table to continue our conversation. Shortly after an older gentleman came by and joined us because he was also looking for perfumed oils and had noticed them on our table.

So were were sitting there having ordinary girl talk about this and that and then some cross dressers from the Ru Paul event that were dressed outlandishly walked by. My BFF and I knew the score but the other people didn't and we had to clue them in as to who they were.

The other people began saying stuff to the effect that a man would never pass as a female due to "x", "y", and "z" (what they actually said is not important). My BFF and I just looked at each other (she knows my story) and both of us were finding it hard to keep a straight face. As they kept talking both me and my BFF made gentle, polite corrections to the rather uninformed (but not hateful) things that they were saying. The temptation was there to out myself and stop the conversation cold, but I was tired and I really didn't feel like outing myself to them to make a point so I didn't. Doing so would have been delicious though

We finished talking and left. The other people never caught onto the fact that a trans woman was sitting at their very table

[katiej]

We finished talking and left. The other people never caught onto the fact that a trans woman was sitting at their very table

That isn't a pass.  That's a mega pass!  Well done!! 

[Alana_Jane]

That's great Eva, you've changed so much in the past couple of years.

Something happened to me yesterday.  As the power adapter to our old computer failed, I went to Best Buy, and purchased a new replacement.  The sales clerk asked for my credit card and ID, which I gave him.  He looked at it as asked... "Is Jxxxx in the store?"  I politely replied, "I'm him"  He promptly apologized.  I understand because Best Buy and Walmart are both popular places for CC identity thieves to rack up a lot of money in easily untraceable items.  But I'll take this pass.   

-Alana

[Rina]

This is my first post in this thread (yay!) - I've had two encouraging incidents this week, of which one was quite hilarious.

First, on Sunday, when visiting friends, I was gendered correctly by their 4-5 years old children, consistently all night. They had not "prepared" them or anything, so I apparently passed in the eyes of a young child.

Then, today, I had a mani- and pedicure done, and while the beautician did my hands, we chatted a lot, so I presumed she had clocked me (I'm quite dysphoric about my voice, despite having improved a bit over the last few months), and as we spoke about my hands being dry, I told her that it's kind of ironic that my hands were softer before I started taking hormones.

She then asked me what I was taking hormones for, and when I told her that it's because I need antiandrogens and estrogen, she looked as if she had seen a ghost, and spent a good ten seconds before recomposing herself, and continued as normal (impressingly, she didn't change attitude towards me at all as soon as she had processed what just happened). I asked her a bit later whether she actually had not clocked me, and she said that no, it didn't occur to her at all.

So yay, I apparently pass now, not just from a distance, but while speaking to someone who is manicuring me. I feel wonderful and a bit scared at the same time, but mainly just wonderful. Scared because I now have to keep in mind that people can react negatively if they clock me after a while, wonderful because it's just wonderful.

[MaryXYX]

Well done Rina!  Now you have to decide if you are going to go Stealth.

[Wynternight]

At work yesterday I went into the lobby to call a patient. There was a burly, shaved head, leather wearing biker standing at the check-in desk who looked over at me and said, "Not me." I came back out a few minutes later and called my patient again and the biker was walking by the door I came out of and stopped to chat about how nice the day was and how he loved being able to get out and ride. We talked maybe five minutes and then he touched my shoulder and said, "Have a nice day, darling."

I'm very dysphoric about my voice but I have had a lot of patients refer to me as "miss" or "her" even after I check them in. 

Earlier yesterday I was checking someone in and going through the intake questions which, for new patients there can be a lot of, so I was doing a lot of talking. Out of the corner of my eye I would see "The Look." The "what are you" look. He decided to be discrete (which some haven't) and asked me, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name (I hadn't given it as I was a wee bit rushed).

I'm getting "The Look" pretty much every time I step into a public restroom. I got it hard today when I went out to lunch.

[Rina]

Well done Rina!  Now you have to decide if you are going to go Stealth.

Thanks! I'm not really planning on stealth, as I would become a nerve wreck trying to hide my history. I also would have to cut off awesome, supportive friends and family to live in stealth. However, when I'm finished with my degree, I do see myself being sort-of-stealth at work. But not in an active way, more in a passive "I don't have a duty to out myself" way.