All These Years [until now] - The Effect of the Nude Feminine Body.

[rhonda13000]

It came to me earlier today; the remembrance of the realization and understanding of this which came to me, some time after beginning transition.

You know, the the provocative and sexy porn images of women; but it's funny about those and the effect which they had upon me, in the previous male pseudo-existence.

I found them intriguing and....they captivated me, but in a strange sort of way.....

I wouldn't react to these the way that guys did; it was different somehow.

I was drawn to these images but not really out of lust. That felt so strange and accordingly, it made me feel like I was strange, abnormal or somehow flawed.

The lust just wasn't there but I could not explain my feelings - until 'now'.

Do you know what I was feeling? It was jealousy.

And I just solemnly shook my head upon the realization.

I still am...in wonderment about this. 

[Steph]

That green monster is a cunning creature who appears in many forms some of which are quite difficult to determine and detect.

Steph

[rhonda13000]

That green monster is a cunning creature who appears in many forms some of which are quite difficult to determine and detect.

Steph

Hmmmmm.......

Our unique variant of the same, Steph?

The realization was profound and........tinged with....an admixture of multiple emotions, thoughts and feelings.

It still is, to a degree, hon.

Yet another attestation of the condition?

Perhaps it is.

[Buffy]

I always found naked photos of women fascinating, not from a sexual (or pornographic) point of view, but because it was simply that fascination.

Ever since I was old enough to be put in the same bath as my cousins, both girls, I remember the feeling of being different, and wanting to be the same as them.

Throughout my life I have been profoundly jealous of the Female body, because it was always what I wanted, needed and couldnt have (or so I thought). Yes jealously and a feeling of despondancy in never being able to achive a fully functioning body are part of the condition.

I am still jealous now, but it is a different jealousy, tinged with bitchiness and envy for those girls with curves in the right places.

Buffy

[Christine Eryn]

Throughout my life I have been profoundly jealous of the Female body, because it was always what I wanted, needed and couldnt have (or so I thought).

Almost on a daily basis, I am EXTREMELY jealous when I see a girl who is as beautiful as I think I should be. Now that I'm on the realistic path to my ultimate goal, in the back on my mind I think, yeah, one day. 

[Kimberly]

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SLIGHT disadvantage of being bi... Girls = Yum never occurred to me as somehow wrong an heck matched the boy likes girl idea anyway. lol No clues for me in that regard Now, Boys = Yum that struck me as a bit odd but ^*shrug* I had no idea what to make of it anyway so I just ignored it, lol. ^*sigh* So many clues, but so clueless

[Nero]

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SLIGHT disadvantage of being bi... Girls = Yum never occurred to me as somehow wrong an heck matched the boy likes girl idea anyway. lol No clues for me in that regard Now, Boys = Yum that struck me as a bit odd but ^*shrug* I had no idea what to make of it anyway so I just ignored it, lol. ^*sigh* So many clues, but so clueless

Turn that around, and that's exactly the way I felt.