Came out to my gf, now im freaking out

[Siobhan]

I totally had some sort of emotional breakdown today and told my gf everything about being abused and my gid. Now im freaked out I finally told someone and the truth is out..she actually asked me if I wanted to be a girl before I said anything, she said she just had a feeling, so I couldnt lie to her and blurted everything out in a crying fit.
Shes totally great though, and was not bothered about the gid but just the abuse..i kept telling her how sorry I was for not being the man she wanted but she just told me I had nothing to be sorry for, and gave me a big hug.
Now im worried that she will start being disgusted with me when in sinks in,cos i cannot accept that someone could accept me

[niamh]

You did the right thing. I understand the rush of emotions you must be feeling. The ball's in her court now but it's good you told her. I hope it works out with you two. Regardless, you did a brave thing and you should be proud of yourself.

[Elasmotraxx]

If my boyfriend said, "I am going to be a woman". You'll see the smoke trailing me behind me so fast, because I am not a lesbian and I don't want to identify as one. But that's just me.

Women see men as security in our society. I think once she realizes it's more about appearance and soothing the soul she'll be a lot more accepting.

[nicole99]

I understand the anxiety, but seriously she sounds like a great lady. Trust in her.

Hugs!

[Jennie]

I think you did the right thing, it helps to get it out and in the open, at least with one person.  And it sounds like she is willing to be open minded and is not freaking out, give it some time and see what happens, you might be surprised at her acceptance.
Aloha.

Jennie

[Siobhan]

Well so far shes told me that shes lost her boyfriend, cos shes not gay shes not interested in me that way now.
she said we are still best friends though.
I cried all night totally gutted,shes the only person ive ever loved or even been with.
She did keep telling me its not my fault,and I can't help how I feel.
I'm forever alone now I guess.

[justmeinoz]

If she was more concerned about past abuse then I think she has faced up to the fact that she can't be a lover, but wants to be supportive. 
Hopefully you can forge a deep friendship that will last.   Lovers and spouses come and go, but true friends are forever, just ask any of the older people here.  It is understandable that you will grieve for a lost relationship, but you will heal.   Hug.

Karen.

[Jeneva]

Well so far shes told me that shes lost her boyfriend, cos shes not gay shes not interested in me that way now.
she said we are still best friends though.
I cried all night totally gutted,shes the only person ive ever loved or even been with.
She did keep telling me its not my fault,and I can't help how I feel.
I'm forever alone now I guess.

I'm sorry it worked out that way, but instead of seeing that she is gone, try to look at the positives.  You now have at least 1 friend that accepts you completely as female.  You know she sees you as female because she said she can't be with you because she isn't a lesbian.

It isn't your fault and it isn't her fault.  You can't help that you were born this way and she can't help that she was born straight.  It just is.  Yes it hurts now, but you are only forever alone if you really want to be.  Yes it will be hard to find and keep a relationship while you transition, but even that isn't forever.  In a few years you may be happily remembering this with her as your maid of honor just before you say your vows to your perfect mate.  Yes, it hurts today, but please don't just give up.  Forever is a long time and you don't have to be alone all of it.

[Beverley]

I cried all night totally gutted,shes the only person ive ever loved or even been with.
She did keep telling me its not my fault,and I can't help how I feel.
I'm forever alone now I guess.

You will heal and there will be someone else in your future, but she had to find out at some point so do not blame yourself for this.

B.

[niamh]

You did the right thing. I'm sorry it didn't work out but you'll feel much better in a few days or weeks because now you can start opening your wings. There ARE other people out there for you.

[LivingInGrey]

I"m stuck in the same situation your in right now. After I had told my S.O. how I felt about myself she asked me if I was going to start working on an active transition. I told her so far I can't, mostly because of finances and other issues going on in my life. But that it was something I wanted to think about in the future.

Currently we're still together but she's constantly telling me that my "junk" belongs to her as long as we're living together and that I can't do anything about it until I make the decision. Then she would make me at least move into a different room and she even told me that unless something in her changes and her feelings don't change, I would I have to accept that fact that she might be interested in seeing other men.

I told her flat out either I wouldn't be able to just 'live' with her after 15 years or it's even possible that after I've started an active transition I might not even find her to be the ... type of person I want to be with in a relationship. We've come to at least an agreement that if I do, we should at least keep an open line of communication.

Things change. Just gotta be able to roll with the punches I guess. I don't hold it against her that she told me she wouldn't be able to live with me if I choose to transition, but it does hurt that she keeps on referring to my 'junk' as hers. Sometimes it makes me feel that right now, she's only with me because my part A works and fits her part B.

Till I ... um ... Grow a pair ... I guess I'm stuck with her =/