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Being trans but not identifying as it?

Started by doopabloop, April 05, 2012, 03:57:39 AM

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doopabloop

So I'm a guy, new to the site, but not new to...being trans, I guess? I came out a year ago (a little over that, I think) and I found that I don't - well, really /never/ identified as trans. I mean I am trans, in terms of sex/gender incongruency, but identify as just male. I'm wondering if anyone else feels the same?
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pretty

Definitely. I have said it before here but MTF and FTM are NOT genders, they are names for a process!  :D
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Dane

Yeah I definitely know what you mean. I don't exactly see myself as trans, I see myself as a guy. I think this is true to a degree for a lot of people.
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Rock

I'm the same.  For me I think it's because I knew I was a boy when I was younger even though others didn't.  That became confused during puberty and what I became just never was me.  I don't feel like I'm transistioning.  I feel like I'm becoming.

Welcome to the site.
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doopabloop

Quote from: pretty on April 05, 2012, 04:06:15 AM
Definitely. I have said it before here but MTF and FTM are NOT genders, they are names for a process!  :D
That's actually quite interesting because I do know people who identify strictly as trans, too...so...?
Quote from: Bradd on April 05, 2012, 04:14:34 AM
Yeah I definitely know what you mean. I don't exactly see myself as trans, I see myself as a guy. I think this is true to a degree for a lot of people.
I think so too haha, I just realised around 5 pages back there's a thread almost exactly like this one, whoops..........(it's got loads of replies too, so...blup).
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doopabloop

Quote from: Rock on April 05, 2012, 04:18:22 AM
I'm the same.  For me I think it's because I knew I was a boy when I was younger even though others didn't.  That became confused during puberty and what I became just never was me.  I don't feel like I'm transistioning.  I feel like I'm becoming.

Welcome to the site.
That's very poetic, to be honest. I wish I could word my thoughts so eloquently, maybe when I come out to teachers etc it'd be a lot smoother........

On that note thank you! I look forward to definitely not spamming you guys with questions looool
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pretty

Quote from: doopabloop on April 05, 2012, 04:19:05 AM
That's actually quite interesting because I do know people who identify strictly as trans, too...so...?

I guess, but I never understood it... how can you identify as trans? Transition is a process from one thing to another. How can you identify as a state of change? If they don't identify as the thing they're transitioning to then why are they transitioning to it!?

Idk, I would think it is the overwhelming norm to identify as your target sex though  :D
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Adio

Welcome to the site.  :)  You'll find plenty of people here that do not identify as trans, just as male or female.  There have been many threads on the subject, mostly in agreement.  So you're definitely not alone.
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supremecatoverlord

To me, trans is nothing but a medical history, so therefore I don't identify with it. In fact, I do a lot to dissociate from it within my everyday life.
Meow.



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Hayzer12

Quote from: JasonRX on April 05, 2012, 12:01:03 PM
To me, trans is nothing but a medical history, so therefore I don't identify with it. In fact, I do a lot to dissociate from it within my everyday life.

This for me as well.
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Natkat

I would say I identify trans..

I am a guy but I am not like the other guys, I dont have the same rights as other guys, I have to fight in ways other guys dont, and ways they wouldnt understand. because of that im more than just a regular guy.



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Nygeel

I'm a guy who happens to be transgender. I see "trans" as an adjective to describe the kind of man I am. I'm also an Irish man and a short man.
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Stephe

I'm transgendered but I am not "a transgender". It's an adjective not a noun. I see a lot of trans people making a lot of effect to distance themselves from being trans. Seems like a wasted effort to me, YYMV of course. I don't announce I am but I don't waste any effort on -not being trans- either. It just is, nothing to be ashamed of.
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Nathan.

I'm a man but i'm also trans, one doesn't take away from the other to me. Me being trans is just the way it is, I wish it wasn't but I am a man who is trans. I don't tell anyone, I try to be as stealth as possible and being trans doesn't affect my life much these days, but i'm not cis no matter how I identify.
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MacKenzie


Perfectly natural, I think most of us feel the same way. =P
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AndrewL

I see being trans as a part of my sex. I don't just define my sex as male/female, but by my location on varying spectrums of masculinity and femininity at various times. I think there are three main categories to the time dimension of sex:

The first, assigned sex is what you're given at birth.
Your sex identity is who you are and what your body needs to be to function optimally.
The final one is your current sex, which is the sum total of where you are medically, legally and socially.

Ideally all of our current sexes would align with our sex identities. Sadly this is rarely the case unless we were assigned to our sex identity.
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doopabloop

Quote from: pretty on April 05, 2012, 04:33:42 AM
I guess, but I never understood it... how can you identify as trans? Transition is a process from one thing to another. How can you identify as a state of change? If they don't identify as the thing they're transitioning to then why are they transitioning to it!?

Idk, I would think it is the overwhelming norm to identify as your target sex though  :D
I think so too, looking at the other thread......(s? there's probably more than one other one)! I don't get it myself but...yeah hahaha. I would think so too to be honest, I just see a /lot/ of people introducing themselves as ___, a ftm/transguy and I'm always a little shocked because I assume people would rather not disclose that sort of information?
Quote from: Adio on April 05, 2012, 08:41:15 AM
Welcome to the site.  :)  You'll find plenty of people here that do not identify as trans, just as male or female.  There have been many threads on the subject, mostly in agreement.  So you're definitely not alone.
Thank you! And yeah, that's what I'm seeing right now sjdkljf'dafjdkl; I guess I was wrong to think that a lot of people identified as trans!
Quote from: JasonRX on April 05, 2012, 12:01:03 PM
To me, trans is nothing but a medical history, so therefore I don't identify with it. In fact, I do a lot to dissociate from it within my everyday life.
This makes me wonder if, as with say, asthma or I dunno, diabetes? You would disclose this with others, or close friends, or what, even if you didn't identify with it?
I guess, are you supposed to tell people you're trans (in definition) even if you don't identify with it?
Quote from: Nygeel on April 05, 2012, 01:00:52 PM
I'm a guy who happens to be transgender. I see "trans" as an adjective to describe the kind of man I am. I'm also an Irish man and a short man.
I think this would be a widely held answer haha. I do think I've had friends say to me this for sure, though not in those exact words...
I hear a lot of "trans is not a noun, it's an adjective" and I have to say I agree lol
Quote from: Stephe on April 05, 2012, 02:33:45 PM
I'm transgendered but I am not "a transgender". It's an adjective not a noun. I see a lot of trans people making a lot of effect to distance themselves from being trans. Seems like a wasted effort to me, YYMV of course. I don't announce I am but I don't waste any effort on -not being trans- either. It just is, nothing to be ashamed of.
I think this is where my question sort of stems from - being trans, is it an identity thing or a definition thing? If you don't identify as trans, are you trans then?
This is neat though, thank you for the input! I personally don't disclose my being trans to anyone besides my teachers (to let them know about pronouns and stuff), as I prefer to go "stealth", but it's not really a shame thing...more of a "it's just not me" thing.
Though I do understand the shame, to be honest.
Quote from: Nathan. on April 05, 2012, 04:32:59 PM
I'm a man but i'm also trans, one doesn't take away from the other to me. Me being trans is just the way it is, I wish it wasn't but I am a man who is trans. I don't tell anyone, I try to be as stealth as possible and being trans doesn't affect my life much these days, but i'm not cis no matter how I identify.
I guess then if you were to be, say, post-op with both bottom and top surgery, would you be cis then? I just wonder where the line is drawn with identity - is who you identify as who you are, necessarily? I've seen transguys who identified as cis, and I dunno, I have to admit I'm a little stumped!
Quote from: MacKenzie on April 05, 2012, 04:39:27 PM
Perfectly natural, I think most of us feel the same way. =P
I'm glad this opinion isn't far off the mark for many!
Quote from: ameline on April 05, 2012, 04:56:35 PM
I see being trans as a part of my sex. I don't just define my sex as male/female, but by my location on varying spectrums of masculinity and femininity at various times. I think there are three main categories to the time dimension of sex:

The first, assigned sex is what you're given at birth.
Your sex identity is who you are and what your body needs to be to function optimally.
The final one is your current sex, which is the sum total of where you are medically, legally and socially.

Ideally all of our current sexes would align with our sex identities. Sadly this is rarely the case unless we were assigned to our sex identity.
Wow, I've seriously...never heard that before. My mind is reeling a tiny bit, whoops...........
I guess I'm just incredibly curious as to what the second is? I mean I think I get it, I just...am not sure.

This sounds about right though hm!
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Arch

For a long time, I identified as trans because I couldn't live as a man. I didn't look at trans as a gender, but it was part of my identity.

Shortly into transition, it stopped being part of my identity and became more of a description of my history...also my continuing history, since I haven't had bottom surgery and have some issues with my lower anatomy.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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N.Chaos

Quote from: JasonRX on April 05, 2012, 12:01:03 PM
To me, trans is nothing but a medical history, so therefore I don't identify with it. In fact, I do a lot to dissociate from it within my everyday life.

I feel pretty much the same way. I look at it the same way I view all my other issues and disorders. They're a part of my life, and they're part of me (unfortunately), but they sure as hell don't define me.
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: doopabloop on April 06, 2012, 12:24:55 AM
This makes me wonder if, as with say, asthma or I dunno, diabetes? You would disclose this with others, or close friends, or what, even if you didn't identify with it?
I guess, are you supposed to tell people you're trans (in definition) even if you don't identify with it?\

You don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to.

There isn't a social stigma attributed with having asthma or diabetes or anything like that.  You don't here people who say "well you were born with a pancreas that didn't produce any insulin, that's what God wanted, you need to learn to live with it." or anything like that.

I also dislike trans being used as a noun.  It's dehumanizing imo.  Yes, I'm of a trans history, but I'm not "a trans", I'm a person, who is a man.






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