Susan's Place Logo

News:

Please be sure to review The Site terms of service, and rules to live by

Main Menu

Munchausen by proxy in a friend......suspicious

Started by mixie, April 09, 2012, 09:04:45 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

mixie

I don't know if I'm asking for advice or just venting.  But I'm  very concerned about a friend of mine who has 3 children living at home with her and one son who does not.

My friend is basically completely homebound with Chiari malformation and other subsequent illnesses that go along with it.  She's not able to leave her home without a wheelchair scooter devise.  She's also pretty sure that her children have inherited her medical problems.

Here's the thing though, her brother and her mother both have the same diagnosis and they basically live a functioning live.  She on the other hand has had brain surgery twice to try to fix her symptoms and it has been disasterous.   But her kids are basically "ticking time bombs" according to her.

Recently two of her kids have wound up in the hospital.  One was diagnosed bipolar (the boy) and the girl is now been tested for all sorts of things including chronic pain.  They are giving the girl pain meds but have not found anything wrong.   I am seriously starting to suspect some sort of munchausen by proxy or just flat out munchausen.

I have three kids and maybe I'm wrong but my kids are basically healthy.  A rare cold every now and then.  Her kids on the other hand are chronically sick.  And not just "sick sick" but being admitted to hospitals only to be released with nothing wrong.  At first I thought that maybe she was overly protective because she had so many medical issues herself, but I'm honestly starting to wonder now.

I'm hoping someone else has experience with this and can assuage my fears.   It's probably nothing and I"d feel terrible to even think such a thing but I don't understand all this hospitalization without being able to diagnose anything wrong.

  •  

envie

Just for clarification, Munchausen is when one makes herself sick just to get rescued and Munchausen by Proxy is when someone makes someone else sick just to save him/her.

What part of the situation are you giving the attribute of one or another? From what I understand out of your post, your friend has the Chiari but suffers more from the symptoms than her brother or mother. This might be making her rather an hypochondriac in my opinion, if you doubt the severity of her symptoms or the illnesses of her children.  In addition, children might be trying to get some attention by acting out or acting sick as this is the only way their mother gives them desired attention.
I don't see how this boy's bipolar disorder would be caused intentionally by someone else. And as you say the doctors haven't found anything wrong with the girl. So she might be faking the pain, but it is rather alarming that they are giving her the meds for non existing diagnosis. I hope it's a placebo!
However, I can imagine the life in the family being psichicly very stressful which may cause phantom pains or altered behavior.

Having said that, as a kid I was administered into the hospital with severe abdominal pain due to undetected irritable bawl syndrome, just to be released with no diagnosis. After several hours I'd be feeling fine again but my IBS was caused by stress which was plenty around in my family, so the pain would reoccurre again, and I'd be again fine after a while. So the girl might be affected in some similar way due to potential high levels of stress.

But Munchausen syndrome, by proxy or not, from what little I know about the situation of this family, I'd say it rather isn't the case.

I am sorry your friend is in this situation, it must be hard for you to watch them suffer!
  •  

mixie

Posted update today and all tests came back fine.  I suppose I'm worried about two things the Munchausen,  which is that the kid is just pretending to be sick to get attention  and also the Proxy that perhaps the mother has coninced the kids they are sicker than they really are and are sort of stoking the fires of the kids hysteria.    It just seems strange to me that the kid would be admitted and given medication when they can't find anything wrong at all.   I'm wondering if the kid perhaps picked up what to say from the mother's history.

  •  

Bexi

Quote from: mixie on April 10, 2012, 08:45:59 AM
Posted update today and all tests came back fine.  I suppose I'm worried about two things the Munchausen,  which is that the kid is just pretending to be sick to get attention  and also the Proxy that perhaps the mother has coninced the kids they are sicker than they really are and are sort of stoking the fires of the kids hysteria.    It just seems strange to me that the kid would be admitted and given medication when they can't find anything wrong at all.   I'm wondering if the kid perhaps picked up what to say from the mother's history.
Maybe if all the people the kids seem to know are sick (their mother, grandmother and uncle) then they may start to assume this is normal? And since the mother is rarely out of the house, the kids will seldom get to see other 'healthier' people.
Sometimes you have to trust people to understand you are not perfect
  •  

envie

Hypochondria is-you think you have many imaginary aliments.
Munchausen is- you cause illness or symptoms to yourself or to someone ,you are a care taker, in case of by Proxy.

Hypochondria and Munchausen can be very similar and sometimes overlapping with their symptoms.
Your friend and her kids may have one or the other or both!
Only careful examination of the physical condition and health history in conjunction with psychic evaluation of the people in question can give most likely of definitive answer.
  •