Need some advice about my therapist

[Ayden]

So, I have been seeing my therapist for the last seven months or so. We did all the sessions needed for her to write me my letter for hormones, and she has been wonderful. After starting hormones, she cut my sessions down to twice a month instead of every week, which I am thankful for, as I don't really have the time or funds at the moment.

My issue is this though: The last two sessions I have had with her, I feel, was a huge waste of money and more importantly, time. She didn't have anything she wanted to talk to me about, and I didn't have anything to say. She asked a few questions and asked about how things were going, but because I didn't have any issues I needed to talk through, we ended the session after 20 minutes the first time. The second time she tried to get me to talk about things that I didn't really have an opinion on and that ended after 30.

I feel pressured to see her, even when I don't feel like I need to, because she suggested it would be a good idea. If I were to stop going to the appointments, could she retract my letter? That is my huge concern. I mean, I don't mind talking to her once a month, or when I have something that is actually bothering me or something I would actually see a therapist about. But, as it stands, I don't really want to spend half an hour talking about the weather, I certainly don't want to have to pay the $80 for the privilage to talk about how the weather is warming up and we have 14 hours a daylight now.

[Sephirah]

Hon, I think the best thing to do is to voice your concerns to her personally, and the way you feel. If she's half as good as you say, I'm sure she'll be understanding and maybe the two of you can work something out.

From what you've said, you have genuine reasons to feel like the usefulness of your time with your therapist has come to an end. You've expressed it clearly, articulately, and rationally. So just tell her that, maybe? Maybe she has some reasons why she feels you should keep seeing her that you haven't considered. So a reasoned discussion about what's best for you surely couldn't hurt.

[Sub-Zero]

What kind of contract did you make her about the sessions? If any? Does it state anything is required for stopping sessions?
I really doubt she'd be able to retract your letter for hormones because you'd already reached that stage in therapy for her to write the letter anyway.
I wouldn't feel pressured into seeing her if you feel you don't need to, it is just a waste of time and money and you'd think she might even be thinking the same thing. I genuinely think if you're not getting anything positive from a session you shouldn't be there, you don't want it to become a drag and not a help.

[Ayden]

Sephirah: I know. I was a little stressed this morning, but I think I might should just talk with her and tell her my thoughts. It isn't that I do not appreciate everything she has done for me, I just don't know how much I am getting out of it at this moment. On top of that, I really need to focus on my classes, since I have to defend my thesis in 3 weeks. I will try and talk to her and see how she feels on the subject.

Sub-Zero: I didn't make any contract at all, so from my understanding I can walk away from therapy at anytime. She did state that she wanted to keep contact with me during my social transition and the beginnings of hormone therapy. My life pretty repetative, so nothing new really happens to me! And yeah, I don't want talking to her to have be something I am dreading, since she really has been awesome to me.

Thanks for your replies. I think I am just worrying too much.

[Kreuzfidel]

Once the letter has been written, that's it - she can't retract it.  I would do as the others suggested and talk to her about your feelings on the wasted sessions.  I would imagine that once every month or every couple of months would be reasonable.

[Zerro]

It's okay to be up front with your therapist, mate. Just tell her that you feel things are coming to a standstill, and that you'd like to halt your work with her for now. Maybe you'll need her in the future, or on a particularly bad day, but if you don't need to work with her for now, I'd say you should be free to speak your mind and go on your merry way. I think, in most kinds of therapy, it's a good idea to be really clear about what you want and need.

She shouldn't be offended, but rather happy that her work with you has gone by pretty well.

'Cause that's a therapist's job, you know? They're supposed to help you help yourself and be a form of support when you need it. And if you don't need their support right now, then that's cool. Just tell her and I'm sure she'll understand!

[lexical]

Sounds to me like you came to her to get your transition process going but not for long-term therapy and she should realize this. I'm really surprised she hasn't brought up ending the work yet given how the last 2 sessions went. It's one thing if you're clearly avoiding a topic, but it's another if you don't have any other issues to discuss and you're ending sessions early. Who knows though, maybe she does think you're hiding something. Either way, I think you're completely within bounds to ask about how many more sessions she envisions you having and starting a dialogue about ending the therapy. Usually they want you to have another session or two after you start this dialogue, so I really am surprised none of this has come up yet.

And there's absolutely no reason for her to retract her letter. Your readiness to start T has nothing to do with what happens next with this therapist and she would be way out of line to use that against you.

[Robert Scott]

My therapist saw me once a week for a month ... then it was every other week... and then it was once a month ... I just went and saw her today --- she said she needs to see me only once a month to keep my file active -- and she wants to keep it active until I have had all the surgeries that I want.  She sees no points in having therapy just to have it.  She never thought I needed therapy anyways but wanted to meet the requirements for the standards.   

She really helped me most with couples counseling -- she helped my wife deal with the transition.

[kelly_aus]

I started with weekly appointments, then they went to bi-weekly, then monthly.. I'm now seeing him for a half-hour every second month.. It's mostly just a bit of a catch up now, which might seem like a waste of time to some, but means that I was an active patient - which meant that when I had a bit of a melt-down recently, I could get in to see him fairly quick, and that the follow up appointment the following week was no issue either..

As others have said, talk to your therapist about it..

[Felix]

I wouldn't keep going if it isn't helping. She can't take back your letter. For me, unhelpful therapy is worse than no therapy. Look out for yourself.