One year has passed by and my life has changed so dramatically because of one post I made on this website a year ago today and one response I received back from that post.
Why did I post?I consider myself to be very successful. I am 38 years old and have done more in that time than anybody else I have ever known. From physical to mental endurance I could handle anything – except being transgendered. I felt that many of the posts I was reading cried out about the pain and suffering that being TG causes. I decided to post something different, how I felt being transgendered helped me navigate the corporate ladder by understanding the way men and women think and using that to my advantage.
And then she emailed me........
A couple of days later I received an email from Jessica Hightower. She commented that she liked my post, that something in it resonated in it with her, and that she felt the same way. She also commented that she was interested in expanding her side business. I emailed her back with some general business suggestions and was shocked when she emailed me back with the business she was running on the side. Without revealing any details, she manufacturing products for which I was one of the largest importers of parts for..........in an extremely niche industry.
WTF?
Is this a trap?Well the odds of two MTF TS doing basically the same thing, a thousand miles apart did not even come close to being probable. I briefly considered deleting the email, messages, Susans account, etc just in case I had been compromised. But I did not. I emailed her back and forth and over that night we became comfortable enough to share our real names. Now, keep in mind, that the ONLY other person at this time that knows I am trans is my wife........
The Short Story.......That night I had a strange feeling that I was connected to this person......and would meet them soon. I told my wife that I thought I would meet her within three months..... In reality I thought it would be much sooner... In about a month we were hanging out together like long lost friends. (Which I think we are) For the first week we texted like school girls (I even had to upgrade my phone plan!) When we first talked on the phone it was for three hours. Not about being trans....... But everything. It was like time warped and we could talk all day and it seemed like just a few minutes. We clicked in a way that was uncanny but amazing.
We helped each other.........The last year has been the most amazing, frustrating, scary, and surreal time of my life. I had thought transition was "way off in the future" but she gently consoled me that "Unless you stop the HRT you are transitioning"..... She helped me repair my relationship with my wife, decide to close a business I owned that was not a "transition friendly" environment, expand a business that was, and figure out where my life was headed.
The best plan is to not plan.......
All my life I have been the person with a plan, the alpha male that took control of a boardroom and got everyone marching to the same drum beat. Except it all ended for me like the last heart beat in a well lived life. I realized that all of my "accomplishments" would carry the asterisk........... * Did you know he was a transsexual??...... We had decided that Jessica would continue her job in the male-dominated oil industry and I would build the manufacturing side my business with the plan of her transitioning into working with me full time. As I expanded the business into a new facility, developed new process technology, and expanded the customer base with her help our plan was working out .........
Then one day she called and asked me if I wanted to come and work for her...... She had just been put in charge of setting up business operations in East Africa and needed good people to work with her. I turned her down.... I don't even know how many times. I discussed it with my wife, and then finally accepted.
The opportunity to experience Africa, with my BFF, get paid, and run my business remotely was too much to resist. A life's dream – to travel the world and set up business operations globally. So I hired an engineer to cover for me and signed up. This was a big opportunity for her and I was pleased to sit in the back seat and keep my mouth shut. On a recent trip to "corporate" I told her how much she must be in conflict, having finally come to peace with transition, only to have this opportunity present itself. Well, later that same day I would know the feeling first hand.......
I am "The MAN"I have always been reserved in the way I present myself. I no longer feel the need to brag or boast.... In fact if this wasn't under "an alias" (which will soon be my legal name)..... I would not have posted anything. Well, we were sent to train in one of the company's facilities and asked to take pictures documenting the manufacturing process so it could be duplicated globally. Well I guess I over did it a bit because the VP was so impressed with the work he didn't want me to go to Africa, just visit all of their plants documenting procedures. I was not interested and honestly thought I would just resign. Well, in short, the deal ended up getting expanded to traveling to China, Brazil, Africa, etc setting up global operations...... and that was very interesting to me.
So Here is the Point.Since you have made it to this point understand this. I am a transsexual. I am 38. I have a wife a two kids. I have achieved EVERYTHING that I was told by society that would make me happy. What I realize now is that the most important thing that ever happened to me in my life was to be broken in half by the "trans thing".... Realizing I am on the outside.... And not caring one bit what people think.
So yes, I am going to spend at least the next year transitioning in Sub Saharan Africa and many other places where being "trans" is not cool. Yes, now I am cool with telling the TSA Security the "anomaly" on their screen is the sports bra to keep my c-cups from showing, or using a pink wireless mouse in the "corporate boardroom", or screwing with guys who try to tease me for having shoulder length (girls) hair. Yes, I love it all. It has made my life so much richer and more exciting.
Do I wish I was born "normal"?Yes, for all my life, every day, all the time...... but not anymore. I think God I was born a transsexual. I am incredibly grateful for the humbling experience of transition, meeting my BFF and soul mate, and so much more than I could possible fit into this post. I have a deep love for Jessica..... I melt into her embrace, and would die for her. But should you discount this as all a bit of the "sparkle stage" of a new relationship, or a realization of a repressed sexuality, realize.... it is not that at all....
I have a lot of challenges ahead of me but I hold my head high and feel grateful now for the bone shattering experience that the last year has gifted me with. And since you have made it this far, please understand that this message comprises only a small fraction of what has really transpired since this date, one year ago.
Thank you for reading, and enjoy your "special gifts"
-Melissa
