Confused gender

[Cogusedgender12]

Hello everybody my name is Chermel. All my life I've lived like a boy I want to play boy sports,games wear boys clothes. I think I might be trans but my parents would killll me if they even heard the words gay les bi or trans come out my mouth. What should I do I already bind using sports bra which actually works pretty well.

[auburnAubrey]

Hi Chermel...

I guess my first question is, how do you know your parents would "kill" you?  Other than that, it would be good to find some type of support group in your area, or someone to talk to about it if you have such strong feelings.  Although at any age, we all have our "stuff" to go through, transitioning pre-puberty, or as close to it as possible is a big help.  There is also medication to help delay puberty while you sort things out.....  So try to find somewhere where you don't have to go through it alone.

Opening up about it to someone (or a group) that you can trust will be a good way to start working through these feelings.

[Cogusedgender12]

Thanks for the advice I feel somewhat uplifted

[auburnAubrey]

of course, you have the benefit of the internet, but I'll say it anyway.  ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  And give yourself permission to feel the way you feel.  it's ok, and it's ok no matter what anyone says.  That's most important. 

I have no idea what your parents are like, but how would they react if you just told them you'd like to get some counseling because you have "some things you'd like to work out"....  would they help you get that?  Or would they make you tell them?  that's something to consider so you have someone to talk to not only about your feelings, but about your family.  Just a thought.

(BTW... that's what I did when I was your age... I was lucky that my parents were great... and although I couldn't / didn't tell them at the time, they did take me to a therapist)

[JayKyle]

what auburn said is sound advice.

Also try and see if you can see a therapist. Most therapists that deal with mood (such as depression or anxiety) can also treat gender issues so if you feel you can't tell your parents yet you can always tell them that you feel depressed or anxious and would like to speak to a counciler about those issues and go from there.


Feel free to ask me if you have any more questions! And explore the forums, they are very informative!
Jay

[V M]

Hi Chermel 

Welcome to Susan's 

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Hugs

V M

[Felix]

Welcome to Susan's, Chermel.

What I would do if I were you is lots of research. Learning is empowering and will help you better decide how to proceed.

[AndrewL]

I'll echo the sentiment, you are not alone. The more you can reach out to the community the more resources you'll find are available. As Felix, stated research will be your friend. Even more so will be the open-minded people you can confide in about your journey, whether they are trained therapists or not.

Welcome to Susan's, it's been a great place for me to get my feet under me. I hope you'll find the information you're searching for here.

[MrTesto]

Welcome! Depending on where you live, there may be policies or laws protecting students your age at school, and networks to figure out more information about being yourself and staying safe.

This site has more information and a way to find local support: http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/student/index.html

[justmeinoz]

Welcome aboard.  As a parent of an FtM son, as well as being trans myself, I feel for you.
You are certainly not alone, and as we are all over the globe there will always be someone around pretty much any time.
If you are living with your parents, you can still do lots of research on the net, in the local library, and just by people watching.  Then when you are in a position to take action you will be able to hit the ground running.

Karen.

[patstar]

Welcome sweetie.  I'm curious: There's one bit of unexplained information in your initial thread post.  Why do you feel it necessary to wear a sports bra?  I wear one because have to, with my having been on hormones for the past four plus years.  (1) I really do need the support.  (2) While providing the support that I require, a light sports bra is invaluable in camouflaging my condition which, unfortunately, is still a necessity.

Having that out of the way, let me say that I envy you.  It's pretty obvious that you are very young.  IMAO, the insight and opportunity to transition when one is so young is such a privilege.