Can we, or aught we, get rid of our former boy/girl-guise life?

[MacKenzie]

Not much to get rid of... a few androgynous clothes... that's about it?

Life has been on pause until now. Never had a male life.

Haha yeah pretty much this. I never had that male privilege either. =P

[Stephe]

Too many really good friends to throw them all away trying to hide from everyone I am trans. I'm not ashamed of what I am today and my past is part of who I am today. I am loved and love several people from my past. That's just not even an option, love doesn't come around often and to have several people who really care about me is a blessing.

As far as the rest? Guy clothes were all gone 10 years ago. Pictures from my past etc, I'm not going to shred in an attempt to run from it. I'm not ashamed of what I was before. The problem then becomes if you throw away your past life, what do you plan to do when someone asks? Make up some past life and events that never happened to try to cover it your real past?

I've spent enough time hiding my true self from the world, being in the closet. For me being deep stealth would be jumping from one closet into another. I also want to make a statement with my life and try to make the world a better place. I feel being "The transgendered woman they know and like" is one more step closer the public accepting being transgendered is OK. When they hear transgendered people try to hide this from others, what message does that send out?

I also don't believe most people out in public read me but if they do, they accept me and treat me with respect/as a woman. I'm also very happy and don't have any fear of "being outed" either. I don't believe I would be as happy if I was worried about someone finding out my past to the point I was burning pictures and shredding documents.

[Carolina1983]

I cant. 28 years of my life cant be thrown away. Even if most of those years was painful I also had a few happy moments, especially as a child! And as said before my experiences and life until now has made me who I am.

However I can understand that some find their past to painful to be reminded of and therefore get rid of those things that remind them.


I am not ashamed of who I am or what I am, if someone got a problem with it then they have to deal with it because I am done hiding. I will live my life as I want to live it and nobody can stand in my way in that regard. Ever!

[Felix]

I get rid of the stuff that makes me feel bad.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Well what would you do had you  been intersexed, changes the pic a bit .

the only ....things .... i gave away were my male clothes, as i hated any male clothes , that i had to wear, yet im proud of being seconded to the Navy so yes i liked those clothes as they did have meaning for me.
any day male clothes other than those are all gone ,

Some of my background,   im quite happy with,  some of cause im not yet even the good with the bad it is my background that has helped in my becomeing a very strong woman & with out that i would not have faired as well

My past is who i am,  my present is liveing as my self a woman , my future ill continue as a woman ,  my past is well known by others & they know me well enough to accept i am who i am . i have lots of pics im happy with them .

as to changes i have a nice body shape similer to women,  im fit , my only down fall is my facial features that have not changed much over the years in reguard to looking more female / woman like,
oh well part of being intersexed, other than that im happy with what i have,

...noeleena...

[Lazarus]

Interesting thread...

I'm wondering "Why" though?? Why delete or erase your physical past? What happens if someday someone asked about it, would you suddenly drop everything and run away again? Or will you conjure-up some mystical story, pretend you didn't know it existed? or perhaps state you had a memory lost; generally lie to your new friends??

Personally, I'm not gonna bother with running away, I'm gonna try transition where I'm currently am.. I figured they'll learn about it sonner or later, might-as-well face-up to the music... Then again, most of my friends don't seem to know am I male or female anyway - they keep asking.. lol

[Felix]

Interesting thread...

I'm wondering "Why" though?? Why delete or erase your physical past? What happens if someday someone asked about it, would you suddenly drop everything and run away again? Or will you conjure-up some mystical story, pretend you didn't know it existed? or perhaps state you had a memory lost; generally lie to your new friends??

Personally, I'm not gonna bother with running away, I'm gonna try transition where I'm currently am.. I figured they'll learn about it sonner or later, might-as-well face-up to the music... Then again, most of my friends don't seem to know am I male or female anyway - they keep asking.. lol

I think that for some people, getting rid of old things isn't deleting, erasing, or running away. I'm not stealth but I'm not going to surround myself with incongruencies either.

[Naturally Blonde]

Interesting thread Axélle! I haven't thrown many of my old pictures away. I usually wore my hair long and looked very androgynous and the earlier pictures from my teens even more so. I did throw most of the old bills and paperwork out years ago. I started buying female clothes in 1984, so I haven't thrown many clothes away over the years, only some of the clothes that were too small or worn out.

[SourCandy]

I haven't thought about that, I'm not sure how possible it will be for me to do that because the past is important to me, even if I've had a horrible pain of feeling like I wanted to be something else, what I am now and was is always going to be important memories because of the happiness I did have.

That said I don't have any really good pictures of me I'd keep, I almost never bought my yearbooks and avoided pictures when I could until I was about 19 (This got me whipped a few times when I actively hid behind a pillar when we had our picture taken for bible school), It's funny now in retrospect looking at the photo of someone hiding their face behind a while column.

But some clothing I could never get rid of, regardless of how tied to my past it is, Like my shirt I got for my high school play.

[Julie Wilson]

Soon I will be able to burn all my old US tax files with that horrid old name on them ^_^ .  I should go and check them tomorrow, 7 years back is all I need so maybe I can destroy the old ones already ^_^ !

[Julie Wilson]

I think that for some people, getting rid of old things isn't deleting, erasing, or running away. I'm not stealth but I'm not going to surround myself with incongruencies either.

QFT

[TraciMC]

I just can't get rid of my stuff.  And I have boxes and boxes of it in the garage and in the house.  I would make a very poor Buddhist; I'm very attached to possessions from my past.  I am trying though to scan everything and then get rid of it as long as I have a digital copy.  I even got all the negatives to my childhood photos from my mom and I've been scanning that as well. I have no problems looking at kiddie pictures; its the puberty/teenage and adult pictures that give me lingering dysphoria.  So I will probably copy those but not really look at them much.  And some things, like old diaries and letters and yearbooks, I can't bear to throw out at all.  They still hold a lot of sentimental value to me.  Just my personality...

[Shang]

I have no reason to get rid of my items.  I love the pictures I have and I'm not going to go stealth.  I also may or may not decide to cross-dress on occasion once I get going in my transition and I have some really cute girl tops. :3  A lot of the pictures I have are very sentimental and involve family so I don't want to get rid of that.

[Hannah]

I've been trying pretty hard to forget about the first 20 years of abuse, depression, underachieving and just general awfulness, so yes, I got rid of pretty much all my stuff. Actually, now that I think of it, my government ID is the only thing I have from before, and that'll be changing pretty soon.

I have kept in contact with one friend, a guy I've been friends with since we were 5. We're kind of drifting apart as of late, mainly because I'm not at all like I was, I just feel like we have nothing in common anymore. I told myself over and over that I wouldn't change, that I would be the same person after transitioning, but I really don't think that it's possible. A lot changes when you let go of the 'man' mentality and aren't afraid to admit to needing help, and as painful as it was I feel better for it.

I don't really think the things I've done in the past are really representative of where I'm headed, so I didn't see a need to keep them.

[Claire25]

I will not when I get farther into my transition.

Granted I was handed cards that I did not want, my past is is what defines me(Both the Light and the dark parts). Everything about my past has helped shape who I am. Granted I will loose some friends and acquaintances in the process, I hope that I don't seeing how they are part of my life.

Clothes on the other hand...Nope!!! I still have clothes from when I was in Highschool ...Ask my wife...Granted she is trying to get rid of them..

[Constance]

As a guy, I never under stood the need for seasonal wardrobes. Now, I find myself thinking that way all the time!