just looking for some perspective

[woodyjohnson]

I am 28 years young and married. I remember when I was a kid I always wanted to grow up a woman even though I was way too young to understand... Funny I had a lot of girlfriends mostly, but also when I was young I experimented with a boy and I always think back to that even now. In my early 20s when I was single I would always cross dress at home but never have someone over... Eventually I met a woman I love very much but honestly I'm disturbed. I love her and all, but I think I'm a girl and I need to be honest with her. I don't want my life to get screwed! I truly enjoy my life but I am not who I am, what am I supposed to do?

[V M]

Hi woodyjohnson 

Welcome to Susan's 

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Hugs

V M

[woodyjohnson]

Yea I spent quite some time familiarizing myself with this community and I hope I didn't break any rules! If I did it certainly wasn't my intention!

[V M]

Hi woody

No you haven't broken any rules, although we here at Susan's do encourage new members to  familiarize themselves with the rules of the site

There are several trans women with wives and/or girlfriends here and you may possibly be making friends with some of them in the near future

Hugs

V M

[Jamie D]

Hi Woody.  Welcome from southern California.  There are many posters here with questions about their gender.  Join in the conversations and perhaps it will help you discover you you really are.

[Cindy]

Hi Woody,

Yes it is a tough call. I've been married for 28 yrs and I'm now just about FT, but my circumstances are unusual. My wife knew about my TG before we got married and I was able to be me whenever I wanted.

We never had children which was a good thing in a way. I think you have to be honest with yourself and your wife. It is incredibly difficult but these feelings don't go away and at some time you may be in a situation with children a wife and needing to be yourself and then everyone gets hurt.

The advice we usually throw in is to see a gender therapist. But I think you need to talk to your wife as well, she has committed herself to you thinking you are a guy, and you may not be. There is nothing wrong with that, I'm not a guy either, I'm a woman with some birth defects which are being treated.  But she may well be expecting the full female lifestyle of a husband to father her children and to live in the 'typical' male - female relationship.  You may not be able to do that.

I'm sorry if that all sounds a bit negative, but we have to deal with the bad things in life as well.

Hugs and Love

Cindy

[justmeinoz]

I have found that approaching Transsexualism as a medical condition, with a good explanation of it's background helps to keep things from getting too heated, especially in the moral and religious areas. 
It's always better to get things sorted as soon as possible, but also don't forget that all this is probably something your girl has never even thought about before in her life.  If you can reassure her that nothing is going to happen overnight, and that you have been mulling it over for a long time, that should help too.
Hope things work out for you, the world can always use more love.

Karen.

[Devlyn]

Hi woodyjohnson, welcome to Susans! There's good news, too! You're already doing something that will be absolutely essential to your happiness: You want to be you. Just keep that goal in mind and you'll do fine. Hugs, Devlyn

[Nikki59s~Girl]

Hi Woody I actually married a MTF and it was the best choice I ever made... When I first met her I had no idea that she was transgendered. I fell in love with her as a him it was love at first sight. We waited a litte bit before we actually made a commitment and started dating. She I guess wanted to wait for the right time to tell me that she was transgendered, a month after she told me we started dating. I guess she wanted to actually see if I thought it was hot that she was trans and that I wasn't just accepting it. Which I do think its extremley hott! Anyways good luck and if she does love you and care about you it wouldn't matter that your MTF and she should accept it and hopefully truley be there for you! Best of luck and I will be praying for you

[Felix]

I think the advice given so far is good. Welcome to Susan's.