Sores from packers, and coming out to doctor?

[fatalerror]

Warning ahead of time that this post is obviously a bit TMI for some, looking for medical advice.

I've always gotten ingrown hair sores along the crease where my thighs meet my groin, but that was when I was shaving, and I haven't done that for months. I've developed two large sores that seem to be boils and I'm wondering if packers can cause this? I do not wear it directly against me (there's fabric in between my body and the packer) but I wear it constantly. I've been doing so for several months and only recently had this issue. I did switch from the Mr. Limpy to trying the Sailor for a week or so and that's when they started to show up, no idea if that's actually related though. Anyone have any tips for dealing with this? The packer's helped so much with a lot of my problems and I don't want to give up wearing it regularly if I can help it.

I'm also going to the doctor soon for the dreaded ob-gyn checkup. I've never gone to the same doctor twice since I've disliked every one that I've seen, and every time I ask about a hysterectomy (I have endometriosis) or more permanent treatment of any kind, they note that I'll change my mind about wanting children when I "find the right man" (note: I'm 25). I have a girlfriend. I'm VERY happy without kids and if for some bizarre reason I changed my mind, I'd still NEVER want to get pregnant, nothing freaks me out more than that concept. But I don't know how to get this through to them, I've told them I'm glad to sign off on my decision but their answer is absolutely not. They also insist I'm not a virgin. I must have really bad luck with doctors.

I've been on estrogen-based birth control for years and it helped for a long time (though it made my breasts and thighs triple in size, which doesn't help with my dysphoria at all). Now it's not working. I've had a lot of digestive bleeding, excruciating pain, mood swings, etc. I'm looking into other options and I want to get AWAY from estrogen. I've gotten some suggestions, like Depo Provera (I know I need to be cautious on that one), as well as trying progesterone-based pills.

My big question here is, is it even safe to come out and just tell my doctor that I'm trans, and while I'm not at the stage yet where I can begin physically transitioning, I really need help with getting off estrogen-based products? It seems impossible to get any of them to listen to me when I ask for a change in medication for any reason (multiple doctors all from different clinics here). All of this is really bringing me down and I'm not sure what to do.

[Robert Scott]

Honesty with your doctor I believe is the best policy.

I came out to my doctor a year before I started counseling and 2 years before I started taking hormones.  She was great --- she had never had a trans patient before.  Although, the care system I am in does have a transclinic.  So, she researched and talked to doctors - with my permission about my care.  I am due for a mamogram --- she said she would not order it until the surgeon is ready for it.  She didn't see the point of getting it done since I was going to have them cut off.  She researched my medication and one of them turned out to lessen the effects of testotrone so before I even started T she switched my medication.  She asked what name I would be most comfortable using and insisted her staff call me by it -- she even corrected in front of me.  I have several medical issues and she had to make a referal to a doctor for me -- she called the doctor and made sure they were trans friendly and would respect me.

I personally had a wonderful experience coming out as trans to my doctor.  She has been very respectful and made sure her staff has.

[Felix]

I have a bad history with gynecologists. I've made a point of going regularly because I've always been paranoid about pregnancy and STI, but I felt like I was rarely treated with much respect. Even after I was on welfare and had had 2 teenage pregnancies they kept telling me that I would change my mind about wanting more kids. Like I wasn't qualified to decide that for myself. I also felt like my discomfort with most forms of birth control was repeatedly waved off like I was just whining about nothing.

So but I didn't come out as trans until a couple years ago. I told my gynecologist at the time and she was cruel to me about it. She told me I was wrong, that there is no such thing. She told me to get used to being a woman because I'd die a woman. I went to one more appointment because I was still trying to convince her to give me a tubal ligation, but she treated me like complete garbage. I felt invalidated as a person.

I found another one who nominally was okay with trans people, but she was pretty passive-aggressively transphobic. She was skeptical of my plan to medically transition, and she talked like only an unethical doctor would prescribe hormones. She wouldn't use my chosen name, and she really just made me feel bad.

So I asked around and another transguy told me about the gynecologist I use now. She's cool, doesn't make a big deal of my status or identity. She doesn't have a lot of trans experience but has been willing to learn. Her staff are great.

I got a boil or something down there when my sweat and hair first started changing from the T, but that obviously isn't your problem.

I would think that you could express discomfort about estrogen-based birth control without having to out yourself. If you do decide to come out as trans maybe you could talk to the office staff about it first, to get a feel for what level of cultural competency to expect from the doctor.

[Biscuit_Stix]

You need to find a decent doctor. But I also have absolutely no sympathy for jerk docs who think that because they have a degree they can automatically make personal decisions for you. I have also never had good experiences with doctors of any sort. I did get pregnant, and searched for a solid 8 months for a doctor who would let me make my own decisions, and I saw at least 6 different doctors over that course of time. I finally found one and he was comfortable letting me sign off as informed refusal on anything I didn't want. Anything. It usually went "Do you understand the risk of refusing this?" "Yes." "Ok, well then we won't do that." Done, no more questions. So it was worth the search, and I've only been back once since. You need to find someone who WILL let you make informed decisions based on your OWN needs. It will take time and effort, but it'll be worth it. You shouldn't have to out yourself just to get the service/care you need and deserve. Do some looking and do interviews. Don't let them just invade your space, interview them before you 'see' them. Consult, and let them know you'll go elsewhere. They provide a service and it's your right to leave if they don't perform it to your standards. You'll eventually find a decent human being, it just might take time.

[MaxAloysius]

I agree with everyone here; absolutely keep looking, good docs are out there! A good tip is calling around and simply asking reception if any of the doctors at the practice are trans friendly/have experience with trans patients. You can do this anonymously, and it may help you find someone who's more used to dealing with trans-related issues, such as non-estrogen based contraceptives and the desire for a hysterectomy.

As to the packer issue, I can sympathise! On hot days here wearing a packer can get really uncomfortable for me, and I've gotten a sore or two from mine in the past. I would suggest dusting it with corn starch/baking soda every morning before you put it on, and maybe try thicker underwear to put more distance between it and your skin.

If the sores came up after you changed packer it's possible that the new material didn't agree with your skin; can you change back? Worst comes to worst, maybe switch to a rolled up sock or something until they heal up?

[fatalerror]

Thanks a bunch for each of your different insights! I might want to hold back on coming out to my doctor and just try to get them to give me a different prescription for now anyway, if it's possible to do without having to specify my identity.

I want to see a better doctor when I'm able to look for more, but right now I live at home and I am not out to my family, thus they simply tell me to go to the same clinics they use. I could call ahead of time and ask, but maybe it's best to just keep it quiet for now, as I'm not making any moves to start testosterone, I'm just wanting to STOP estrogen, lol.

Robert, I'm really glad to hear you had such a good experience. To Felix and Biscuit_Stix, sorry to hear you've had trouble with them. I'm sure I'll eventually find a better fit, especially once I move out of this area.

And thanks Bane, I'll be sure to use the corn starch more often and see about giving myself a bit more of a break from it too. I changed back to the older packer and the past few days I've not worn one at all so I can heal, hoping that both of them are still usable!