How Do You Cope With Being Unable To Transition?

[JoanneB]

I sure can see dealing with being trans sucking even more for the younger people then for us dinosaurs. You know the light at the end of the tunnel isn't the oncoming train we felt it was. It's just one hell of a walk to get there.

When all else fails you can adopt my philosophy:
Life sucks and then you die

Although I would not recommend it after the extensive 50 year try out period I've given it

[JohnnieRamona]

I'm taking baby steps toward transitioning, but it's still very hard to cope. I want to wait to start HRT until I can be under a doctor's supervision, but right now I don't have health insurance- I'm trying to scrape together the money to see a doctor out-of-pocket just to get my first HRT script. I don't have a lot of money or job security right now either- I'm looking for another or a better job, but it's been tough to even get an interview.

So how do I cope? Crossdressing at this point doesn't do that much to improve my mood, because all I can see looking back at me in the mirror is a man in a dress. Honestly I'd rather be on hormones and have to stay in "boy mode" for a while than dress as a woman without HRT. I've shaved my chest and legs, and that has made me feel more feminine- I particularly like how my chest looks and feels shaved. My skin is thankfully very soft and fair.

At this point, I'm really just barely keeping it together day-to-day. I'd love any advice anyone cares to give on coping...

[Arch]

Tomboy, my therapist is sometimes a real Pollyanna--I love the guy anyway--but he gave me some useful advice when I was just starting out. At least, it was useful to me.

One thing, accept the negative things--don't ignore them--but focus on the positive that you have right now. If you don't see any, look harder. As you said, you have soft skin--that's a plus. You feel more feminine when you shave--ditto. Take pleasure in these things.

Another thing that occasionally helped me was to visualize where I thought I would be in a couple of years. I imagined my chest flat. I imagined that all of my major ID documents would be changed. I tried to imagine how masculine I would look after a few years on T. I told myself that if I took small steps, I would get there.

And...what do you know, I'm getting there, one step at a time.