How do you deal with jealousy?

[tommyjames]

I joined a forum a couple of week ago and some guys there are talking about puberty and what not. like how often they wank and if theyre cut/uncut and general penis stuff and holy f.ck I have never been so dysphoric my entire life. And then I got bored and I looked up blogs about penises (idk) and combine those two and just I cant function right now. it feels like i cant breath and sh-t like im gonna pass out cause this just blows really much.

so yep, how do you deal with well jealosy/intense gender dysphoria?
im just a teen btw with unsupportive parents so im gonna have to enjoy this some wonderful years more. :/ i could use some good coping techniques.

[Cindy]

Hi Tommy

Just some background rules.

Hi, and welcome to Susan's! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way   

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Our mission is to be a support site for gender dysmorphic people of any situation, so feel at home and feel comfortable. You are now family.


I think dealing with the GID is what drives us. I literally broke down crying in a large store some years ago because the staff were wearing nice clothes and presented as female and it hit like a hammer between my eyes. OK the opposite for you but the same

That day I was close to suicide, very close.

BUT it prompted me to finally seek help, to decide yes I have to transition. I am a woman and no one will take that away.

You have to do the same. You are male. You have the right to be male. OK our physical stuff will never be correct but our mental outlook can be.

Find a gender therapist and start the trip. It sounds as if you have too.

Hugs my brother

Cindy

[supremecatoverlord]

If I were you, I would just avoid forums like this where men get into deep detail about how they jerk it and whatnot.
That's what I always did, especially before I was able to start HRT.
If you have really bad bottom dysphoria, like some of us do, there might not be much you can do  right now except buy a packer or save up for a prosthetic penis.

The only thing that concerns me about you posting this here is that is actually may be a trigger for other people.
Personally, I know stuff like this exists so it doesn't bother me much, but yeah, my main concern is that it may bother others too.

[Cindy]

If I were you, I would just avoid forums like this where men get into deep detail about how they jerk it and whatnot.
That's what I always did, especially before I was able to start HRT.
If you have really bad bottom dysphoria, like some of us do, there might not be much you can do  right now except buy a packer or save up for a prosthetic penis.

The only thing that concerns me about you posting this here is that is actually may be a trigger for other people.
Personally, I know stuff like this exists so it doesn't bother me much, but yeah, my main concern is that it may bother others too.

Very good post.

Why go to places that hurt you?

[tommyjames]

thanks for the replies and i can delete this topic if you want me to.

[Cindy]

Nothing wrong with the topic at all

[AndrewL]

Nothing wrong with the topic from my perspective either. If you have a question that you think might trigger dysphoria in others you can always still ask it with a "trigger warning" in the title.

As to your initial question, Jason hit the nail on the head. If you realize this place is causing you significant distress you may want to avoid it. If you're anything like me, that won't stop you though. I have a bad habit of seeking out things that make me uncomfortable. If that's the case you'll need to learn how to watch yourself and judge when looking at triggering items can be done safely.

Remember your mental & physical health should be your top priority regardless of where you are in transition, or even if you want to transition.

Another option would be to substitute a positive forum for the triggering one. Susan's is definitely one place to focus on the positive aspects of your future.

Welcome, and best of luck on your journey. Please feel free to ask questions, vent, and share your success and stories with us. We're here to support you on your journey, all we ask is that your respect ours.

[King Malachite]

tommyjames welcome to Susans man

I was like that all the time and in some cases I still am.  I would even go as far to watch webcams and watch guys- errrr you get the point.  Does it trigger the heck out of me?  Yup

I realized that it was NOT good for me to doing that so simply I don't do it as much and I try to avoid when men talk about their genitals in such of a manner.

Does it trigger me?  You bet it does!  I want to be able to do that but sadly I can't.

How do I cope?  Well by knowing that one day those guys will be so old that they can't get it up or not want to as much.

Horrible thinking?  Indeed  Justified thinking?  You bet!  Do I feel bad for thinking that way?  Not at all

Also what personally helps me is that I know I want bottom surgery so I think about the future about being able to get one day so I can be the happy teen boy I was meant to be and spend hours in my room with my new joystick.

But yeah just avoid those spots.  This topic isn't wrong.  It is a bit triggering for me but I'll get over it.

[Lee]

It can be hard to get away from these situations completely.  When that happens I remind myself that jealousy runs both ways.  For example, my brother whom I have always been jealous of because of his height/deep voice/maleness/whatever sometimes says things like he is jealous of how I'm better at getting girls, that I have more chest hair, or how he wishes he had my "cool nose" (no idea what that means, but whatever). 

Even if people don't say these things outright remember that everyone is uncomfortable about their body in some way and that other guys are undoubtedly envious of you in some way.  We all have our physical advantages.

[Isaac]

I feel like a horrible person for doing this, but I purposely read about people who are "worse" off than me.  I look at pics/read about guys with micropenises, or have hormone imbalances that stunted their growth, have gynocomastia, etc.  Some cis men will never have a regular sex life because they have a micropenis or other issues.  And I mean, some people don't even have arms or legs- that's even worse.  Pretty much everyone who ever lived has some sort of unlucky thing they had to deal with in their life.  Some of those are physical limitations.  But you aren't the only one, and there's other things in life besides sex.