What should I do about my wife's friend?

[Nikki59s~Girl]

Ok so here it goes. My wife has a friend she has known pretty much her whole life, ever since school. Anyways she and her friend kind of work together and I don't care for him at all. Her friend knows she is transgendered and has known for a while. Anyways her friend recently has been making weird comments and I feel like he is making fun of her. My wife says it is just them joking around but to me it doesn't seem at all like they are cracking jokes. Her friend even tried grabbing her boobs the other day inside a store saying he saw her nipples, which to me isn't possible because she wears a sports bra and you can't see them at all. Now my wife has her nails painted and just because she isn't dressed her friend has made a few rude comments about her nails. I love my wife very much and it just gets to me, like even if this is joking around I don't like it what so ever. I've even told her friend I don't like him what so ever to his face and obviously it went back on me.

[chloe23]

The friend is being insensitive towards Nikki. Even if they are supposedly good friends, he had no right trying to grab Nikki's breasts in the store. They both may have looked at it as horseplay, but Nikki should have put her foot down and let him know you don't touch my breasts. If he is uncomfortable with Nikki painting her nails or her transition then he don't need to be hanging around with her. A true friend would be more respectful and i hope Nikki has a talk with this friend before somebody gets hurt.

[justmeinoz]

Not a friend at all by the sounds of things, just a rude person who needs to be told to pull their head in.  Hopefully Nikki will do that.

[Nikki59s~Girl]

Thanks so much! That is what I always say to Nikki that he isn't a true friend. Nikki said that they always crack jokes about  each other about stupid stuff... I liked it better when Nikki's friend lived in Vegas because he wasn't ever around us at all. I guess Nikki needs one friend from her past for when she fully transitions. Nikki's friend is helpful too for helping fix our vehicles, but thats all. Otherwise I hate him with a passion. I feel like I have to keep my mouth shut because her friend is a huge drama queen and if I say something he gets soooo offended. I do tell Nikki all the time that I hate her friend though....

[Dragon Friend]

It is odd sometimes how people you love will defend disrespectful people as their friends.

That said you need to keep in mind that evidently Nikki feels this person is her friend. Unless Nikki starts to feel as you do things you say about that person could cause Nikki to be defensive of the person. Just state thing as how you feel and that this persons behavior to you is rude and be there for Nikki when the "friend" finally crosses a line and Nikki is dealing with losing a friend. Hopefully the "friend" will get a job in a different town untill then try and limit your exposure.

[LoveInMyEyes]

That said you need to keep in mind that evidently Nikki feels this person is her friend. Unless Nikki starts to feel as you do things you say about that person could cause Nikki to be defensive of the person. Just state thing as how you feel and that this persons behavior to you is rude and be there for Nikki when the "friend" finally crosses a line and Nikki is dealing with losing a friend.

I think this is definitely good advice. If Nikki is insulted or hurt by the actions of her friend, then I say step up and defend her. But if she is okay with it, pushing her to see things your way will more than likely backfire. If things are really bad between her and her friend, I am sure she will see it.

Sometimes all we can do as SO's is stand by our guy or girl and support them through the decisions they make. It's frustrating at times, but what can you do? *shrug*

[Nikki59s~Girl]

Thanks! As of right now I think Nikki is staring to get the hint plus her friend is a big blabber mouth and he will open up his mouth to everybody about her being transgendered. Nikki's friend went and hung out with one of Nikki's old friend last night and she wasn't very fond of that because this friend is bad news and doesn't know about her being transgendered and would most likely be against it. Nikki really needs to realize that her so called friend isn't being supportive and is really just laughing at her... I love Nikki so much and well it would hurt me big time to see her get hurt by a close friend or her mother or anybody for that matter. Seeing Nikki hurt is devastating because she is all i have.