Gender issues and Generations

[togetherwecan]

I would like to break this down into generations by decades if you are are willing.

Technology, the internet in particular has allowed many younger TS individuals easy access to concrete information regading TS and other gender issues...I am curious if you would all indulge this curious mind...

I would like to hear from the following age groups of TS individuals as to when they knew something was different, when they took steps to learn more and when they began making changes...

If your current age is:

10-20 yrs old

20-30 yrs old

30 - 40 yrs old

40 - 50 yrs old

50 - 60 yrs old

60 + yrs old

[togetherwecan]

Current age is 19, was considered "weird" for my gender by my parents when I was younger, noticed that something was up with the first changes in puberty, thought that I was the only one who felt these things until I was 15 when I found a useful site on the internets, came out to my therapist, read True Selves, came out to my friends when I was 16, came out to family soon after, started seeing gender therapist, started Spiro at 18, started HRT at two months ago, currently transitioning in college.

Hope that helps.

It does, thank you. Is it safe to assume the internet was where you first began your research into gender issues to see where you fit in>

[katia]

1. When did you KNOW/understand your transgender(al?) feelings?

when i was 6 or 7 years old

2. What kinds of discrimination have you faced?

none.  i pass very well.

3. How has your family reacted?

dad was the hardest to convince, yet he's slowly assimilating the news, [still ]


4. What would you say is your largest support system?

my self-esteem

5. How do you identify yourself? As a heterosexual or homosexual? Pre and post-operational?

preop transexual lesbian.  i don't like men.

6. Is there any legislation where you live that is supportive/discriminatory against you?

no

7. How much does an operation cost?


last time i checked, about $17000 w/dr bowers

Is it currently a goal for you?

yes; it'll get done this year.

How long does the process take, from one gender to another, physically? Is it ever really over?

years.  i started when i was fifteen, took hormones for years and now i'm under the care of an endo. i've been under [supervised hrt] for two years now. over? dunno.  i hope so.

i'm 34 now; the web was around two years ago, but not when i was 15.

[Omika]

I'm twenty-two, and the internet was a huge deal for me.  However, I mostly used it as an escape, and a means of being myself (who I considered my imaginary twin sister at the time), not a method of researching my condition.  I didn't do solid research until I was about nineteen.

Although, I was very stubborn, as I felt a desire not to shame my family's name, so I only just recently (about nine months ago) started to truly be honest with myself and come out to everyone.  So even though I had the net, and an understanding of transsexualism to a degree, my own fear and devotion to family pride prevented me from moving forward earlier.

I've got no one to blame but myself for the wasted time, really.  Especially considering how supportive everyone has turned out to be.

~ Blair

[GQPAT]

1. When did you KNOW/understand your transgender(al?) feelings?

I was probably 8 to 10 or so...started tucking, wearing mom's clothes, including undergarments, to feel comfortable,

2. What kinds of discrimination have you faced?

I'm pretty much full time now even though I just started hormones, havnt done the legal name change, and havnt had any electro/laser...it just kinda happened...I came out to all my friends/family/classmates/faculty/workplace over a matter of months.  Thing is I would say I pass 50-50 so I still face hella discrimination.  Ok maybe not hella but I still get TONS of weird looks/laugh-out-louds when people see me in a skirt or something and can't really use gendered washrooms right now (WAY too girly for the guys and to manly for the womens)...I figure that'll smoothe itself out though within the year..I mean I'm only 23..the 'mones are gonna affect me big time (I start E next week...YAY)!


3. How has your family reacted?

I only came out to them at christmas (ie: under 3 months)...my mom and I kinda avoid the topic now...sometimes it gets brought up but were both still awkward about it...same goes for my two brothers...MY DAD on the other hand is taking this GREAT...he's come out for me to the rest of the (extended) family...which takes the load off me & just the other night dropped a few "she's" when he talked to my roomate looking for me!!


4. What would you say is your largest support system?

Professors/Schoolmates/Friends (but especially my professors because three of them are trans...two MTF, one FTM...they're all super supportive/willing to lend an ear)


5. How do you identify yourself? As a heterosexual or homosexual? Pre and post-operational?

white, vegetarian, non(ish)-op, transexual, bisexual-however-leaning-more-towards-lesbian, activist, student, music-lover/nerd, able bodied, lower-to-middle-class....need I go on?

7. How much does an operation cost?

The only operation I plan on getting is a double orchie (although with time that MIGHT change) so I think its roughly $2000 or so with brassard (please correct me if I'm wrong)

Is it currently a goal for you?

yes...I'll have it done within the next year/year-and-a-half-maybe-two!

How long does the process take, from one gender to another, physically? Is it ever really over?

Definitely years...I can't quantify it into numbers 'cause everyone is different...cant say about the over though!

Yay! I like questionaires!

Cheers: Patty

P.S. To answer your orginal question...the internet DEFINITELY had an impact but I think school did even moreso...I mean being introduced to extremely intelligent and attractive transfolk was a HUGE eye-opener...+ I take/took a lot of courses about transness like Queer Feminism, Feminist Approaches to Sexuality, Introduction to Trans-Studies, and  Transsexual, Transgender, & Genderqueer Cultural Production (okay well I didnt actually take that class but I sat in on tons of the lectures)!

[Shana A]

I'm 51 now, first came out as transgendered in 1993, had already been part of queer community as gay or bi for quite a few years before that. It was much harder to get info pre internet, although I read every book I could find and drove hours from the rural area where I lived to the city for support and also to be involved in activism.

zythyra

[Kate]

I would like to hear from the following age groups...

42 here.

of TS individuals as to when they knew something was different...

By age four I knew I wanted to be, or should have been, a girl (jealous of neighbor girls pre-kindergarten - I wanted to BE them). I never  noticed or wore their clothes - I wanted to be THEM.

when they took steps to learn more...

Through my thirties I really only "knew" there was something called a "sex change op," though it seemed very few people had gone through with it, and the results seemed not-the-point (they still looked like and seemed like men - it didn't seem to change anything).

I finally used the internet in my thirties to seriously begin researching how to AVOID and cope with this problem, eventually crossdressing (I'd never tried it before this) on halloweens for a few years to see if I could pass without drugs or surgeries.

I couldn't. Not routinely anyway, and it quickly became obvious that even if I COULD, "passing" via costume wasn't doing anything other than making me MORE miserable.

and when they began making changes...

I broke down emotionally at 41 and entered therapy, began removing the beard, and started HRT at 42.

Kate

[Melissa]

I'm 29 now.  I knew something was different somewhere around age 5-7.  I knew I had a female brain around age 12.  I took steps to learn more at age 28.  I started making changes immediately after that.

Melissa

[Aurora]

I had first begun researching at 27.  I had moved to a new city two months later to get some help.  I am now a very happy 30 year old woman living life her TS life.  Growing up, I have always known "something" was different.  I was so naive.  I had thought TS women were born woman, but had a male operation.  Honestly, I never knew the possibilities until 3 years ago.

[togetherwecan]

so far what I am seeing here is that regardless of the different ages of veryone MOST of you didn't find what you needed until you did so on the internet. This is interesting to me because I feel as a group we have a huge opportunity of helping the younger generation of TS individuals by our mere internet presense and in doing so we can help save them years and years of confusion and pain.

Let's keep this going please. This is serious research for me and IF I were to write anything on this for publication I would use NO individual as an example. I think technology is our best friend right now and i would like to help others. Anything I come up with I will post here for feedback and approval before i do anything with it.

As an activist I need to address this issue as much as possible.

Thank you soooooo much!

[beckster]

1. When did you KNOW/understand your transgender(al?) feelings?

I would say from about 4 years of age, although it probably wasn't until puberty hit, maybe around the age of 10-12 that I became really unhappy about how I felt and understood the reasons why.  I think I was about 16 when I first went on the internet and started looking for reasons I felt the way I did.  It was then that I understood why I felt the way I did but it really scared me and it took about another 12 years before I did anything further.

2. What kinds of discrimination have you faced?

Appart from the odd stupid comment by brainless groups of spotty 15 year old boys I would say nothing.

3. How has your family reacted?

They have all been fine as far as I can tell !!

4. What would you say is your largest support system?

Used to be the girls I worked with but now I would say my best friend.

5. How do you identify yourself? As a heterosexual or homosexual? Pre and post-operational?

Stupid labels - I hate these questions.  As far as I am concerened I am just me, if you really need to stamp something on my forehead then pre-op transsexual will do. I have more of an interest in guys these days although there are a couple of girls I know who are still a little interesting.

6. Is there any legislation where you live that is supportive/discriminatory against you?

Well I am in the Uk so I feel it is quite supportive, certainlly doesn't seem discriminatory.

7. How much does an operation cost?

Hopefully nothing as the NHS should provide complete funding once the red tape is unraveled and you get a bit of sense out of them !! 

8. Is it currently a goal for you?

It hasn't been but since I started hormones it has definately become a major goal for me to reach.

9. How long does the process take, from one gender to another, physically? Is it ever really over?

If I recall the dates I went to my doctor in Summer 2004, spent lots of times getting referred here and there, went full time in October 2005 as I got a bit fed up waiting on everything, then started hormones in October 2006.  So I dont know, personally I feel its different for everyone.  I have just turned 31 and feel as though its not really going to be over until my op is sorted.  Although one could then argue that a whole new experience starts at that point.

Becky
xx

[KarenLyn]

I transitioned at 41 but I've known I was supposed to be a girl for as long as I can remember. I picked the name Karen Lyn at age 13. I didn't know I could do anything about it until I learned about it on the internet. After that, it was an avalanche. There was no stopping me from making everything I'd always felt into reality. And here I am, hopefully through most of my second puberty with my whole life ahead of me.

Karen Lyn     

[LynnER]

1. When did you KNOW/understand your transgender(al?) feelings?

Im 26 now I Knew before I was 5 or 6... as far back as my first memory I knew... and after speaking to my parrents (pre disowned) they told me stories of things I did and said pretty much the moment I was old enough to move around on my own and talk....
I didnt understand till I was a young teenager (12ish) and my grandmother told me about TS people... at which point I started looking for information in encyclopedias and at the school and local libraries... the internet wasnt available to me for actual research till I was in my 20's.....

2. What kinds of discrimination have you faced?

Oh boy...  I'll just boil this down to TS bassed discrimination....
Well, when I first came out Id get wierd looks and the odd comment....  Im actualy not welcome at allot of the LGB establishments localy because Im TS...  Ive had a hard time in the court system and overall it makes it things difficult....  Also finding a good BF is pretty much going to be impossable till I have and heal from the final op...

3. How has your family reacted?

.............. Does the word "Disowned" sound familiar?

4. What would you say is your largest support system?

Largest currently is Susans itsself...  Localy its down to being my friends Bev and Andrea.... though my ex is trying to work her way back in there

5. How do you identify yourself? As a heterosexual or homosexual? Pre and post-operational?

Im straight.... I like guys....  and Im currently preop which means Im kinda stuck.

6. Is there any legislation where you live that is supportive/discriminatory against you?

There are anti discrimination and protection laws on the books localy from what I understand... for being part of texas EP isnt that bad a place...

7. How much does an operation cost?

Im not positive.... actualy... Im horrable at finding any information on anything on the net which is why I love susans... I can get most of what I need from here with out killing myself wasteing hours trying to futilely search the web and avoid all the porn sites...  Im guessing around 20k give or take by the time Im able to save up for it  *Grumbles* 

8. Is it currently a goal for you?

Soon as I qualify and soon as I can save the money or find a decent loan for it.

9. How long does the process take, from one gender to another, physically? Is it ever really over?

So far as the mentality its taken accepting myself and unlearning allot of forced traits... And I think Im mostly done on that end and its been about 2 years sence I started that part of the journey 
Physicaly Im hopeing to be done before Im 30......

[LostInTime]

I am in the 30-40 range and came to terms with being TS and started hormones in 97.

Growing up the only places for info were talk shows and at the time Phil Donahue ruled the airwaves.  Then after I got out of HS I had a GF who looked some things up in her college library.  Strangely enough she was the first person to suspect that I was TS.

In my mid-20s the Internet was vital for the info I was looking for and it really helped me out.  Early 20s I did log onto a few Bulletin Board Systems, one of which ended up with a connection to the Usenet.  Those posts are long gone but I still remember the name I logged in under. 

[cindianna_jones]

1. When did you KNOW/understand your transgender(al?) feelings?[/b]

3 Years old

2. What kinds of discrimination have you faced?

If you can think it, I've experienced it. From religious, to heckling, to rape.

3. How has your family reacted?

It's been a tough road. My sister came on board very quickly. My parents took a few months before we could talk. But they realized that if they didn't change their stance, they would lose me completely. After twenty years, they are finally becoming comfortable with my "new" name and are getting the pronouns correct most of the time.  My children are having problems right now. The rest in my family, (aunts and uncles, cousins and such) have "forgiven me for my sin". They put up with me when I'm around but are clearly uncomfortable.

What would you say is your largest support system?

The love of my husband.  I normally don't rely on TS support.  But recently, I was so happy to have everyone here help me with a situation with my daughter.

5. How do you identify yourself? As a heterosexual or homosexual? Pre and post-operational?

I identify as an asexual woman.  I had surgery 19 years ago.

6. Is there any legislation where you live that is supportive/discriminatory against you?

I live in one of the states that has non-discriminatory laws for TS people.

7. How much does an operation cost?

My vaginaplasty was $7500 in 1988.  I spent close to $3500 for electro during that time. There are many other related expenses.

Is it currently a goal for you?

I'm done.

How long does the process take, from one gender to another, physically? Is it ever really over?

It could take just a few months. The standards of care define it to be at least a year.  For some it takes many years.  I was ready within one year after I started my transition but had to wait for my surgeon to recover from an accident.  So my process was about 18 months.


Cindi

[Omika]

Apologies for perhaps driving this thread in an alternate direction, but I would never consider the internet to be a friend of mine. I think that it is further increasing the amount of loneliness within this already isolated society of alienation (redundancy is fun). But, I depend on the internet and technology as a whole to live.

Irony.

Use it as a means to touch good people, and eventually meet them in person.  It is then a wonderful tool, socially.

Substituting the internet for nearly all social interaction is like just using mouthwash, rather than brushing your teeth and using mouthwash.  Your breath smells fine, sure, but eventually your teeth are going to fall out.

You hear that?  The internet makes your teeth fall out.

~ Blair

[cindianna_jones]

Following accusations that transsexuals have poor dental hygene we bring you this story.

Where does this end?  Do all transsexuals wear dentures? Popular opinion says that this is an intentional act of neglegence so that they can better be prepared for oral sexual encounters.

Blair a noted bender refused comment.

You decide.

Your on the scene reporter for Gossiprite News,

- Glaring Idiot

[Omika]

Itsh really hard to talk wiffout teef.

~ Blair

[rhonda13000]

I'm going on 51.

It was between the ages of 10-20 when it became apparent to me that "something was not right" sexually [in reality, gender-wise], but back then, I was young and progressively becoming possessed by a growing confusion, which also had me baffled in itself.

I did not fully identify and understand what I was dealing with until May of 2005.

Itsh really hard to talk wiffout teef.

~ Blair

You're a 'chracter and a half' Blair, but a most intelligent, passionate and intriguing one.

You stay cool, girl.