need advice

[cartmonkey23]

Well I posted my introduction but have not posted anything since.  Alot has been going on in my life as of late.  But nothing worse than telling my girlfriend/fiance that I am ftm.  It was one of the hardest things I could have done.  She took it well at first...but of course she cries every day.  She has questions...that I dont have answers too right now.  We have been together for three years and we are planning a wedding for August.  WE have talked about kids.  But now of course she is questioning everything.  I dont know how to make her feel better when I am just discovering things for myself.  I love her with all my heart.  I am getting counseling and talking to people.  Ever since I did come out to her...and she said it herself the other day...our communication has gotten better but she still feels like she has not known me for the past three years.  I guess I dont know.  I just need some advice.

[HelenW]

I guess this may better be answered by an SO who has experienced this situation but I think you need to give your gf some time with this and, perhaps, have her get some counseling with you or separately from you by a gender therapist who can help her make the decisions she needs to make.  Her world has been turned upside down and the pictures she had of your future life together have been destroyed.  I think she will need some time, maybe alot more, to regain a sense of stability in an all too suddenly uncertain world.

It's good that you can still talk and that she can ask questions.  My wife went into shock for a number of weeks and wouldn't even let me bring the subject up.  Let your girlfriend assimilate this new information and try to be patient, as impossible as that may sound right now.  For her sake, rush slowly.

hugs & smiles
helen

[Julie Marie]

One of the hardest things to do seems to be to make people understand that even though the cover of the book will be changing, the contents won't.  It's something we all have to deal with.  As time passes, those close to us usually come to realize we are still the same person we've always been, just a lot happier. 

Julie

[cartmonkey23]

THanks to both of you.  We have been talking quite a bit.  I am just thankful she still wants to talk about it and not leave it.  She is still crying....but I believe you are right....things will become easier...its just a matter of time.  I think these forums are going to help alot.  Thanks again!