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I need some serious advice!!!

Started by mdgurlneedhelp, April 08, 2012, 10:00:47 AM

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mdgurlneedhelp

This is my first time on this forum so first I would like to say hello to everyone! I need some serious advice with this girl I know and I really want to make sure im not looking to far into things or if she is actually digging me ( bisexual female here btw ). I will start from the top this will take a minute...lol..

So, i met this girl at work ( red flag number 1..i know..), the first 1 month and a half she had been coming to my store ( she works for visual so she only comes in the store once or twice a week) I never really spoke to her. Honestly I wasnt even checking for her, I mean I thought she was cute and all but I wasnt really into her like that. But, all the guys at work chins fall to the floor whenever she comes the store and they follow her around like some lost little puppies. Some of them hit on her and I notice that she turns them all down. She has a boyfriend and she did tell me that she was in love with him and that she thinks that one day they will get married.

At work everyone thinks that I am a lesbian, at first I had know idea why they started thinking that but then later on found out why. So of course all these rumors started to spread about me around my store, so every time im seen talking to a new chick its "oh im hitting on them or trying to have sex with her". So that it will be easier to type ill call her "d" so you know when im referring to her. D and I started actually talking because I was super hungry one day at work, and I was going around asking every one did they want to go half on some chinese food because I did not want to order $10 worth of food just to get delivery and it was to far to walk. So, I asked D did she want to go half, but she didnt because she didnt have any money. And we slowly started talking from there. The visual team came by the store for a whole week so i saw her pretty much everyday, a couple of those days we actually sat and had lunch together...

(RED FLAG #2 " WAS I LOOKING TO MUCH IN TO THIS?")
We are in the lunch room one day gossiping about a coke addict coworker of mine. She didnt know he was but I did and when I told because other people were in the room I asked her to lean over so I could whisper in her ear that he was a coke head. When I said she gripped my forearm tight and gasp, but the thing is she didnt let go of my arm for like 10 seconds or more and when she did let go it was like she was thinking "oh shyt I never let go of her arm!" And the whole time she had her arm on mine I was just chit chatting away. Now mind you I was not checking for her at all up until she that. I just found it strange for her to do that to someone that she didnt know that well and I hadnt even seen her talking that close to any of the other females like this. I noticed that when I would look her in the eyes she would kind of look away or look down but when I wasnt looking directly at her she would look at me when I was talking. In this same conversation I also told her about the rumors that people spread about me so i also said you might not want to hang around me that much if you dont want to be labeled. She told me " none of these MF's sign my check so they can think what they want!" She was like I think your cool and thats good enough for me. At that point I hadnt told her my sexual preference and I did that for a reason so that she could get to know me for herself before I did tell her 2 months later. Was I looking to much in to the hand gesture?

Now I play a lot so once her and I got comfortable with each other I started messing with her. Like I might say something smart to her just to pick with her or I might grab her arm in a playful way, but she wouldnt get mad at it. So now me n her have a back and forth type of relationship like I have to get her before she gets me or the other way around.

There is more to the story this might be the forums new soap opera lol..but I shall return soon and Happy Easter Everyone!!
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mdgurlneedhelp

RED FLAG #4 (DID I "REALLY" LOOK TO MUCH IN TO THIS?)

One day she and I had been texting each other the whole day, I was off work that day. I was hungry and was saying telling her that I didnt know what I wanted to eat. And she asked me what did I have a taste for? Just to test the waters I sent a response saying " U?" Then I was going to immediately send another text stating that I sent it on accident but I wasnt able to because a call had come thru on my phone. So, I wasnt able to send the text until 4 minutes later. But, right after I sent my 2 text 2 of her texts came thru. The first one just said "LoL" and the second text said "where are u".

Now one thing about this woman (she is 34 btw I am 30), when I make comments like that she never says anything she just laughs, our conversations are mostly over text.

FAST FORWARD A COUPLE WEEKS

Because this group of girls at work have no lives because they are miserable and have to many kids they focus on everyone else's business. One girl in particular is trying to out me to everyone, so she is spreading rumors about me at work. Since all the guys at work are always swarming around this woman and trying to talk to her I decided that I was just going to tell her that I was Bi before she finds out from someone else and gets a head full of lies without giving me a chance to explain. So, I tell her. And she took it pretty well. She even said that its cool with her and that we could still be friends.

RED FLAG #5, 6 AND 7 (THIS IS A DOOZY THAT I JUST CANT SEEM TO FIGURE OUT!?!?)

When I told her, the very same day she all of a sudden got really happy like kind of bubbly. She even smacked me on my thigh and told me she would beat on my boobs like congos when I made a sarcastic comment to her. I was wearing a tank top that day and I must say they were sitting very well that day lmao.

A couple days after I told her, I hear from a buddy of mine at work that she had asked him why didnt I tell her that I was bi when her and I first started talking. So, I kinda got mad! One because she is talking to my homeboy about me when she could just have asked me herself! Two because "wtf does it matter!?" Your straight right? And even if you thought I was only doing nice things for you because you thought I wanted to make you like me thats phucked up! So, im like this is the game you want to play? Ok. I get another girl at work who knows my secret to play me a prop. Because I was like I am going to get to some kind of answer this week on how she really feels.

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Amazon D

They are jelous yo can talk to the women they can't so thay have to attack you as a lesbian

just call them jelous that you can talk to a female without lust unlike those horny boys

opps maybe i am wrong ..i didn't read all of it..

yikes ignore all my thoughts  :o
I'm an Amazon womyn + very butch + respecting MWMF since 1999 unless invited. + I AM A HIPPIE

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mdgurlneedhelp

The plan was since I was off Friday and didnt have anything to do after I was finished at the gym I would go by the store and have lunch with this coworker. While at work infront of her my coworker was suppose to come up and give me a hug and ask me why didnt I call her back the night before. She was basically suppose to flirt with me infront her. I knew that she would be there because she already told me her schedule for when she comes to my store which is every friday. When I went to the store she was in fact there and I intended on speaking to her and keeping it moving, but she actually wanted to talk to me that day just to have regular conversation. Right before we were about to execute the plan she had went to the rest room and when she came back out she was on the phone. So, I texted my coworker to hold off on coming near me until she gets off the phone. We were on an " L Word" mission like no other lol.

When she got off the phone she came back over where I was sitting to use the computer so then we set the plan in motion. And I must say that my costar had a terrific performance. She went all out. She came over and gave me this big hug and was like " Guurrrlll why didnt you call me back last night?" "Do you know I stayed up til 1am waiting for you?" Then I started laughing and got up and acted like I was rushing her off, while I was walking off I had said "Well what had happened was..." and I heard her start laughing as my coworker and I were walking away, so I do know that she was listening but acting like she was all into her computer screen. When I came back from rushing my coworker off she had asked me as soon as i came back "Does she still have a thing for Carlos or no?"I laughed on the inside and said to her "Yes, she is always talking about him". Everything was cool we went back to our convo, then she actually started working again so i started talking to my coworker again we were sitting on a couch while she worked around us and I would say to her "laugh really loud like I said something so funny". And she would, I would look out the corner of my eye to see if she was watching us but of course she was acting like she was paying us no attention.

30 minutes had passed and we went into the lunch room. I sat next to the girl I was scheming with mainly because that was the only seat available. She had gotten the other available seat which was directly in her clear view of us to. So, she could see us without actually looking at us. I texted her to whisper something in my ear when she was going back to work and make it look good, and she did. I started laughing when she did it and I all I said was "ok, I will". And she started whispering in my ear again, so I continued to laugh. And i said "Foreal son, I got you." and she said " you promise?" and I said "I promise I will". And she walked out. I looked over at her while she was whispering in my ear and she was all into her phone acting like she didnt see nothing and wasnt paying it any attention. When she was finished eating she just got up from the table and walked off saying "well back to work" she didnt say anything to me. I stayed in the room talking with one of my associates. I go to the lockers to get something from my bag and she is in there looking for a painting she spoke to me doing her a favor when she got off so I would wait around for her, but she didnt say that much and I made a sarcastic comment and she gave me a piercing look. It was so harsh that it didnt even make no sense. It didnt occur to me at that time, she was mad! 15 minutes had passed and I had come out of the bathroom I was in there congratulating my coworker on a job well done. I call my buddy as im walking back to my locker and he says "Hey your home girl right here on the phone" he was talking to her. What he neglected to tell me was that she was leaving. I just thought she was looking for me and when I got done talking to him I would go look for her around the store. When I found out that she did in fact leave I immediately called her...she didnt pick up. I waited 2 mins then called her again...she didnt pick up. I gave up on calling her and went about my business. I was MAD though. Because I pretty much waited around all day for her to do the favor and she just runs out on me without even telling me that she was close to being done with work. She had spoke to me 15 mins before she left work.

So, she calls me back like 30 or 40 mins later right when im about to walk on the train. She says "hey my bad im sorry i missed your called" (uh huh)...I said.."what happened to you? I thought you needed me to do that favor for you?"...she was stumbling over her words like she couldnt think of an excuse fast enough so she just said.."I-I-IDK..I-I..get like this sometimes..Im just frustrated..and to top it off I forgot my notepad so I need to come back up there." I was like come back? "Why did you leave me?" She was like "Ooohhh...this has been a trying week for me..I-I just dont know what to do." And I said.."Yo are you ok?" and she is just stumbling over her words trying to get herself together and she just totally skips the subject and starts asking me have I ever seen the movie called brides maids. HUH? How you just going to act like im not asking you a legitimate question. There is a tiny bit more to this story but first things first:

Was she mad at the scheme I cooked up? Did she just roll out on me because of my scheme? Or am I just looking to much in to it? Do I have a right to be mad that she left me because it was my fault the other chick was fake hitting on me in front of her? Is she actually digging me and is just fitting it?
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Mandie

Quote from: mdgurlneedhelp on April 17, 2012, 09:47:39 AM
???

I am having a hard time figuring out what your question is? Are you in a relationship with someone who is transgendered? Are you Transgendered and trying to pursue a relationship??

I am confused sorry
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chloe23

You do need to explain it more, getting lost my self with so many red flags. Are you transgender yourself or seeing someone that is?
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onelove

If you really care about her, why are you trying to hurt her?

Why don't you just be the person that is the nicest and the sweetest to her... guys play enough games. Why don't you just show her why girls do it better?
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mdgurlneedhelp

Oh im sorry I am new on this site and im not really sure about the protocol, so im guessing I should have introduced myself first. I am a bi female 30 and I like another female (she is 34) that works for the same company that I do. But our work has no dealings with each other totally different departments and we dont even see each other that much. The previous post were explaining some scenarios of our dealings with each other and "I was trying to figure out if she likes me" before I say something to her. But, she claims that she is straight and will never be with a female. So, I dont say anything about liking her, but I did tell her that I am bi, and she seems to be ok with that.

Any questions? I have stories for days...lol..
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MrTesto

So at least some of the story is that you are sending sexually explicit texts frequently with a co-worker, who has said to you that she doesn't want to date women, but is still really flirty. There is "scheming," mixed messages, and sort of obsessive behavior. And one of you is trans (? or if not, color me confused).

How many red flags do you need to know that something isn't the right thing to pursue? Good luck with all of this.
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Ayden

I wish you luck, and I hope that all goes well, but you should not pursue something that makes this woman uncomfortable. That being said, are either one of you transgendered? Otherwise, why post in this forum?
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justmeinoz

Mind Games are bad news and just end up hurting people.  Especially when they involve text messages, which are invariably misunderstood.  I would suggest stopping it all right now and if she doesn't want to get involved, drop it.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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mdgurlneedhelp

I dont send any sexually explicit text to her at all. Im not stupid we work for the same company. I did decide a few days ago to drop it because she does send mixed messages. And when I do try to back off with no communication she always texts me or finds some way to talk to me at work when she is there. So, im going to take your advice and drop it, maybe we will just be cool friends. Thanks for the advice.
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Kelly-087

So. Not sure how this belongs here.. but uh..

On a human level. That's pretty messed up. If you're into a girl, and you think she's into you, then you've already damaged whatever you might have by cooking up some sort of scheme to get her jealous.

Yeah, she probably figured it out, likes you, and is mad that you would do that but doesn't want to say it because she feels that she'll lose any chance.

I think you should apologize to her, come clean, and tell her how you feel.

But at this point I feel like you're only going to mess with her and hurt her, so maybe it's best to just be friends.
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