Here's a post I made in another topic:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,116417.msg935921.html#msg935921Quote
I finally saw a therapist who I was hoping to get an HRT letter from but he kept asking all this stuff like "Are you attracted to men? Do you want to wear make up and wear women's clothes? Did you know you were female since you were 5?" It's like holy ->-bleeped-<- come on. He actually really nice about it but the more I think about what happened I feel like it won't get anywhere. He complimented me on my hair too which I felt like was nice at the time but now I wonder if he was just testing me to see if I liked someone complimenting what is currently the most feminine thing in my presentation.
I tried to tell him like if I primarily just wanted to wear makeup/dress a certain way I would just do it, I wouldn't open myself up to the like 1000% of the scrutiny that trans people face. If it was that important to me to wear a dress then I would be going out in dresses now. I also told him that I didn't have a goal of breast implants because I have not even had the natural breast growth and my goal is not "have breasts as big as possible."
I feel like internally I am MtF nonbinary if that makes any sense but of course I didn't even START to tell him that because his response would just be "well if you aren't certain/don't feel committed then you shouldn't do it." But I AM committed and a nonbinary sense isn't less real or less important, and I definitely know I'm not male and the less I think of myself as male the happier I am. (I have a friend who has started trying to relate to me more as a girl and I honestly love that too)
I realized after making it that I wanted to talk to people about my therapist but it is off topic.
There were also some other things that worried me. He said things that I know are wrong like that the effects of HRT are irreversible (only SOME are and they're not immediate) and that HRT would change my voice. I think he implied that I do not really have autism/aspergers although he is too nice to tell me that my self identification paired with diagnosis is wrong. At the same time he was NOT very sympathetic to autism body language, speech patterns etc. I felt like he did not take me very seriously when I had trouble saying something and he thought I was one of the most nervous person he had seen. I was pretty nervous, but I wasn't THAT nervous.
He also was pressuring me to sign a release for some therapists I was coerced into seeing as a teenager. I had a REALLY bad experience with them and I don't want to involve them.
He also had this thing where he was like "pretty much every trans person who lives in this area comes to see me at some point."
I am only going to be here over the summer and only part of the summer for that (beginning and end), so I feel like he could legitimately say that he is not going to be able to see me enough. This other stuff has me worried. I think I am just going to keep going because it still freaks me out to talk about any trans stuff in person.
Do you think he sounds like a good therapist? I have no doubt that he is nice and sincerely wants to do a good job but I'm worried. How hard is it to find a good therapist for HRT letters- did you all have to try different ones? I don't know if I can handle going with HRT for another year or two.
SO tired right now sorry if this is confusing
