Ancestry,Children and Families Questions for Gay Parents

[Shawn Sunshine]

I have a a question that applies to both straight and gay couples, but I want to hear from gays and lesbians on this issue that raised children. If a couple chooses to have children via a sperm donor or a surrogate mother for gay men (not sure if that happens), then does the child get to find out who there ancestors are? Let us say for instance the biological father is half Cherokee, and as such had certain rights,benefits and privileged to be on a reservation and such if they want. This would also mean that child would be 1/4 cherokee with the same privileges. Do the parents know exactly the bloodlines of the respective donors, and if they do know, do they tell the child at all ever?

Or lets say the other human that you got the donation from was black, and yet the child did not show any skin pigmetation to suggest they are black. (this actually happens) Is it not the right thing to do to tell them? Of course this issue also very much applies to straight couples or in my case finding out I had a different dad and now I don't know all my ancestry because of it. Of course there are some who could be a part of another culture besides caucasian and not even know it or vice versa. Some grow up knowing very little about themselves.

Do any of you feel its important to know what bloodlines are running around in your body, or who your ancestors are? Or like since I am 1/4 spanish from my moms side I would like to meet some distant cousins in spain, and simply go there to soak up the culture. I am also related to Daniel Boone. His brother Squire Boon is a great great great uncle. (actually it might be 4 greats)

I don't like the idea of one day, there would be no such thing as culture or ancestry or geneological studies. I believe its important to know as much about that as you can. Obviously this does not in the end define who you are, because that is in the spirit itself. Still its important.

[Shawn Sunshine]

I sure could use some answers for this topic

[Devlyn]

That's an interesting and complex question. Since it's the holiday weekend here in the States, I'll bet a lot of people are doing cookouts and the beach! Give it some time and we'll see this thread pick up momentum. Hugs, Devlyn

[peky]

I think it is of parmount importance for the development of a solid identity.

[peky]

From my father side I am mostly Frisian (Dutch), with some Catalan and Roman (one of my ancestors was (QUINTUS GAIUS BELISARIUS)

From my mother side I am mostly German Jew and Castillan, with a bit of Algonquin

Most strangers think that I am Russian; I take that as a complement as Russian women are one oof the most beutiful women in the planet.

[Amazon D]

I am a spirit and blood has nothing to do with my time here on earth..

i may have a closer connection to my two children in africa i support than my own blood children..


I may have a closer connection to no one than God and thats what really matters to me..

god is love

love is god

i find a resting place

in my heart

for god / love

Life here on earth is but a dream of the true spiritual world from whence we came and to where we will return

[Brooke777]

I hope you don't mind, I have not adopted a child, and do not know what it is like for parents that do. I do have a different point of view on this subject. I was adopted at birth.  I did not, and still do not care much about my ethnic heritage.  I only sought out my birth mother to learn medical history.  I did end up learning my ethnic background as well.  I have to say though, knowing what "bloodline" I come from really does not mean much.  I do not define myself by my ancestors, but by who I am.  If, someone is raised in a social setting where ethnic heritage is important, it would be great if they could learn theirs.  I hope this helps a little.

[Shawn Sunshine]

I mention being half black and not knowing it, because blacks in general (whether africian american or other variation) have banded together because of slavery, civil rights and are considered a minority and thankfully are now for the most part being treated as equal by most Americans (but not all for sure). So would you not want to let the child know they are part of that culture? Sure they are just half but still, I would want to know. You could argue it doesn't matter. Our own president is half and half but of course looks primarily black. Rather there are so many things to learn about a culture. Do we just 500 years later become a race of unisex androgynous people with some differences in skin pigmentation, but then have forgotten our heritage and beliefs and then all think and feel the same thing with the only differences being what we like to eat and drink maybe? I don't think Native Americans would be too happy about giving up being able to hand down there knowledge of the Great Spirit and how to live. I don't want to live in that world.

[Brooke777]

I certainly do not think people should give up their heritage.  I am 1/4 Native American, and my adopted family is Native American.  I find their culture to be very important, but I do not let it define me.  I hope my earlier post was not taken as I don't think heritage is important.  I only meant that it does not have to define someone.  And therefore, knowing their heritage is not too important to every one.

[Shawn Sunshine]

Ahh yes I see what you mean. I  think of myself as a spirit with a temporary body. But lets say science gave me the ability to live for 500 years more on earth (people in the old testament were reported to live 900 or so. If you accept that, then later God changed it to 100 or so for some reason and now people are living longer again. I would sure hope there was still culture, even if you didnt know your bloodline, it might be interesting though, they might be able to create a device that can know whats in your dna. Like for instance they have mitochondrial dna evidence that suggests we all came from Africa, and that due to genetic shifts and living in different regions with exposure to sunlight this caused the differences we have now in humans.

[peky]

I am a spirit and blood has nothing to do with my time here on earth..

i may have a closer connection to my two children in africa i support than my own blood children..


I may have a closer connection to no one than God and thats what really matters to me..

god is love

love is god

i find a resting place

in my heart

for god / love

Life here on earth is but a dream of the true spiritual world from whence we came and to where we will return

Perhaps, but if not, what is your legacy to your children, to society? Is a legacy important?

[Amazon D]

Perhaps, but if not, what is your legacy to your children, to society? Is a legacy important?

Well i have hardly any connection to my children except for $. I have surrendered them to their mothers who i thought was healthier than me but as time goes by i find probaly not. However i gave them the control and now they are older and not interested in me.

So basically i feel more closely connected to the spiritual world because of my ADD and aspergers and bipolar and being single all my life.

Its either accept that in my life or feel depressed because i am so different.

I choose not to be in a relationship because most people would not relate to me and just use me for sex which i had enough of that in my life pre transitioning.

I feel this is my life and fate and i accept it.. 

[peky]

Well, God bless you.