Who do so many girls talk about their vaginae ...

[Julie Wilson]

the video was an ad for a..."woman's monthly product", sort of like a buttplug but for the front, to prevent leakage.

[Beth Andrea]

In order to help re-align the thread to its original topic, I present the OP:

But so few actually discuss that little thing called a "life" that surrounds it?

Unless discussing the finer points of confessing one's trans-ness to a partner or a one night stand

So. 

Life. Not vaginas. 

Let's discuss. 

[Kitty_Babe]

ok I'll play your guessing game, ? why 'do' women talk so much about them ?, is it like also men talking about their Penises or their mates ? - just wondering. I really can't say I have ever really talked about mine, or anyone else's private parts, unless it was for medical reasons, and some kind of importance to me, or to other people.

[AbraCadabra]

This is only because they have been conditioned by the patriarchy to think that a womans vagina is un-wholesome and unclean. It's insideous...what many consider to be the most offensive word in the english is just a slang term for the vagina, I'd be far more offended if someone called me a cock.

Anyway, back on topic, a lot of the women I know understand that their vaginas and uteruses are what centre them spiritually as female...even if you are a sterile XY woman, it is your vagina that spiritually centres you as being female. And women do understand about their vaginas...at least many of the women I know...they're usually the ones that the patriarchy labels sluts, because they enjoy their bodies and aren't afraid to talk about it. Me I'm a slut and proud of it.

I think I heard these 'patriarchate influenced' notions and ideas before...
Now THAT makes ME wonder why I do not feel like talking about my genitals - at least 7 month post-op it makes me feel not only weird but all-in-all mostly uncalled for. And mind you it has zilch to do with patriarchy or anything 'unclean' it is more a case of common decency?
BTW, the same applies to breasts... another subject almost trodden to death by many MtFs... at least until they have some to show
It reminds me a bit of early female puberty stuff – and this for both gg AND tg.
All said, I think once you are used to your 'new' physical situation a pretty normal sense of shyness/delicacy sets in – and it certainly will not be the stuff to be discussed over coffee & cake during a multi girly coffee klatsch.
I just can't see it, as well as I'm neither interested in it. Does that make me frigid? I don't think so. Do I want to labelled as a slut? No, not really either. Yet, if it should happen it be in the eyes of the beholder – not mine. Why would I like to attract such a label? I can not see it as any sort of achievement, seriously I can not.
And I wonder...
Axélle

[Amazon D]

Damn are you all still talking about your vaginas  

[AbraCadabra]

Damn are you all still talking about your vaginas  

Well, and look who's talking!

[Julie Wilson]

ok I'll play your guessing game, ? why 'do' women talk so much about them ?, is it like also men talking about their Penises or their mates ? - ...

Here is more of what I was shooting for...

I had SRS in 04, had FFS in 08-09 ...  I was fired from a job because someone came in and "outted" me as trans.  Since then I have had difficulty with employment due to the rumors, difficulty in general.  The quality of my life has been poor due to concerns about being outted, rumors that I am a man, etc.

A while ago after dealing with rumors, being outted and suffering at work I couldn't take it anymore and I quit my job.  At the time I felt like I was so lucky to have that job and I couldn't believe that my boss didn't fire me or ask me to leave.  I felt like I was so lucky because my boss was willing to allow me to stay at that job.  But I couldn't take it anymore, was too stressed out and my performance was suffering a lot because of it so I quit and went back to Thailand where I had a secondary procedure downstairs and some lipo/body sculpting.

I own a house that is a rental and I did a lot of work on it so that I can now walk away from it and not worry about the foundation collapsing and as soon as I have a little money saved up I am gone.  I am going to leave all my oppressors and their rumors behind and move away from here.  I recently took a new job because I needed one very badly and it was amazing.  I had almost zero confidence because of all the rumors about me from my old job but people actually accepted me as a woman.  I had forgotten  what that was like or that it was even possible because the rumors, back-stabbing and gossip from my old job and wrecked my confidence and sapped my joy away.  I have accomplished so much, overcome so much only to have my oppressors take it away from me with mere words.

I don't even think about sex or relationships anymore.  All I want it to be left alone, to be allowed to be the female I am.  I intend to be on the road and away from here within a month, trying to get the house rented out...  Great time of year for traveling.

I have been talking about moving from here for so long it's become a joke to people who know me.  It is long over-due.  A long time coming, but it's finally in in sight.

It will be wonderful to be able to keep a job and not worry about someone seeing me and cutting my financial throat.

How about the rest of you?  You got your vagina, now what?

[Amazon D]

Here is more of what I was shooting for...

I had SRS in 04, had FFS in 08-09 ...  I was fired from a job because someone came in and "outted" me as trans.  Since then I have had difficulty with employment due to the rumors, difficulty in general.  The quality of my life has been poor due to concerns about being outted, rumors that I am a man, etc.

A while ago after dealing with rumors, being outted and suffering at work I couldn't take it anymore and I quit my job.  At the time I felt like I was so lucky to have that job and I couldn't believe that my boss didn't fire me or ask me to leave.  I felt like I was so lucky because my boss was willing to allow me to stay at that job.  But I couldn't take it anymore, was too stressed out and my performance was suffering a lot because of it so I quit and went back to Thailand where I had a secondary procedure downstairs and some lipo/body sculpting.

I own a house that is a rental and I did a lot of work on it so that I can now walk away from it and not worry about the foundation collapsing and as soon as I have a little money saved up I am gone.  I am going to leave all my oppressors and their rumors behind and move away from here.  I recently took a new job because I needed one very badly and it was amazing.  I had almost zero confidence because of all the rumors about me from my old job but people actually accepted me as a woman.  I had forgotten  what that was like or that it was even possible because the rumors, back-stabbing and gossip from my old job and wrecked my confidence and sapped my joy away.  I have accomplished so much, overcome so much only to have my oppressors take it away from me with mere words.

I don't even think about sex or relationships anymore.  All I want it to be left alone, to be allowed to be the female I am.  I intend to be on the road and away from here within a month, trying to get the house rented out...  Great time of year for traveling.

I have been talking about moving from here for so long it's become a joke to people who know me.  It is long over-due.  A long time coming, but it's finally in in sight.

It will be wonderful to be able to keep a job and not worry about someone seeing me and cutting my financial throat.

How about the rest of you?  You got your vagina, now what?

I hated being a landlord and so i got rid of mine and have never been happier.. I bought a cte little farm and i am fixing it up and being my moms caregiver. Life is simple and good. Not mch going on out here which is how i like it.. No worrys etc.. jst simple living.. i would like to find a platonic partner to help but that will happen and if it doesn't i will be fine..

had my surgery in 98 and ffs then too and been single and celibate ever since and love it.. Intimate relationships are hell anyway..

[AbraCadabra]

So now I got my vj - and now WHAT?!
A slight twist to the original threads question? It seems so...

First back to the original item... again, I do NOT think we 'normally' talk a LOT about our neo-vj, it is NOT my experience. Secondly it is NOT at all my experience either that guys talk about their stuff. Really.
Maybe it is a matter of how inebriated they are? Also what sort of manners they were taught in the first place.

There is NOTHING wrong at all with sex-talk between the sheets, but there is 'a time and a place' for THAT.

So what about post neo-vj?
Having had 2 years RLE up front, the only thing that is slightly different, if someone calls me "uncle" (-oom- in Afrikaans as happened just this morning, OUCH!) I have a little 'reminder' that this 'oom' happens to be a 'tante' (aunt). It make me feel  a little less 'kicked in the balls'...

As for the rest? I'm still busy/waiting to change my passport and other IDs so it is 'business as usual' ... without having to worry if and when SRS will happen or it will ever happen?!?! No more suicidal thoughts, no more GID, just some more or less heavy doses of female jealousy when I behold some pretty attractive female born female.
THAT stage still I have not passed yet... if ever I will?
I can feel really sad looking at a lovely waist-line, slim arms, the curve of nice hips and the fullness of (natural) breasts. Just the 'rightness' of it all can sometimes be so....... unrelentingly beautiful - and sad, if you are not.

Oh well...
Axélle

[Julie Wilson]

Ugh...  Tell me about it O_o  ...  Female jealousy, I could write a whole series of books on that.

Glad you are no longer suicidal, I can definitely appreciate that aspect of transition/transitioning/pre-transition.

Well this section is called Post OP LIFE but all it seems to amount to is vagina talk.

My suggestion to you is to accept your vagina as a vagina.  A neo vagina is a new vagina, your's is no longer new and you are in the process of creating history as a physical woman.  As time progresses you will have more and more history to draw from as a woman.  Some women focus on all the experiences they will never have, like crapping their pink diapers or having their first period.  They focus on what they don't have and make the present a never-ending deficit or a never ending non-experience.  My suggestion is to do something every day that scares you.  Though your life as a woman may appear as an invisible bridge I would encourage you to walk on it, jump on it, dance on it, leap on it...  because by doing that you will make your bridge stronger and more visible.  By cautiously treading very carefully on it or considering it from a distance it will remain a fantasy.  Womanhood will continue to be a fantasy.  Drop bombs on it.  Smash it with hammers and it will become amazing and strong and you will come to confidently tread upon it.

There will always be others who make excuses and say how they have to tell a partner first that they transitioned etc. etc.  Avoid living a female life without the permission of others.  Will they ever know what they missed out on?   There are leaders and followers, there are sheep and wolves and adventurous women who grab life by the balls and milk life for all it's worth.  I want to see you shine, while I bask in the glow of your vibrant and amazing life from afar.

[AbraCadabra]

Ugh...  Tell me about it O_o  ...  Female jealousy, I could write a whole series of books on that.

Glad you are no longer suicidal, I can definitely appreciate that aspect of transition/transitioning/pre-transition.

Well this section is called Post OP LIFE but all it seems to amount to is vagina talk.

My suggestion to you is to accept your vagina as a vagina.  A neo vagina is a new vagina, your's is no longer new and you are in the process of creating history as a physical woman.  As time progresses you will have more and more history to draw from as a woman.  Some women focus on all the experiences they will never have, like crapping their pink diapers or having their first period.  They focus on what they don't have and make the present a never-ending deficit or a never ending non-experience.  My suggestion is to do something every day that scares you.  Though your life as a woman may appear as an invisible bridge I would encourage you to walk on it, jump on it, dance on it, leap on it...  because by doing that you will make your bridge stronger and more visible.  By cautiously treading very carefully on it or considering it from a distance it will remain a fantasy.  Womanhood will continue to be a fantasy.  Drop bombs on it.  Smash it with hammers and it will become amazing and strong and you will come to confidently tread upon it.

There will always be others who make excuses and say how they have to tell a partner first that they transitioned etc. etc.  Avoid living a female life without the permission of others.  Will they ever know what they missed out on?   There are leaders and followers, there are sheep and wolves and adventurous women who grab life by the balls and milk life for all it's worth.  I want to see you shine, while I bask in the glow of your vibrant and amazing life from afar.

Nice post, and is it only me that started to get the intention of the OP - finally?
Matter of fact it's what I meant posting before, with some less emphatic accents, like dropping bombs and jumping about on that 'bridge' to our post-op I.
So, yes, I see that most of this post-op section is/was filled with early-post-op issues. At 7 month post-op I'm not doing THAT badly, and at 2 years RLE immediately after coming out, and at age 65 again, I do not think that vagina talk has been my main issue.
OK, some women have issues with dilating, healing, revision(s) – sex HEY!, etc. - I feel pretty lucky not having any of those things to deal with - well mostly not - and so it's been not any main concern.

Next Friday I'm going to get my new passport application done (by appointment these days!) and that is some 'bomb' that will have tested that 'bridge' to the 'new' I.

There will be more to come, mostly all related to ID changes of bank accounts, and God knows how many other plastic cards

Meanwhile back at the ranch... life just is being lived.
Though one caveat... it is at night during semi-sleep that I at times REALLY wonder what this whole 'thing' is/was all about. Like WTF @#$%^&* ...

I still can feel some strange notions when being called Frau xxx, a little less Mrs. Xxx, and even being referred to a 'she', this-that-and-the-other does not quite, not always, just feel completely 'normal' - not yet.
All I know, if I'd be mis-gendered (e.g. 'uncle' in place of 'aunt'...) it feels WRONG. VERY wrong. Go figure...

The I/me/myself has bonded some to my new status, but not during all of my sleep-stages it seems as yet. I guess I'd still make a bad lady-spy or witness protection persona, not completely bonded to that new persona.
So, that bridge is strong, ok, but it can sway, sway in the winds of life's exposures – and female jealousy is just one of those exposures.

Just thinking...
Axélle

[Amazon D]

The Vagina Song

[Ms Bev]

I was in a surgical waiting room a while back, waiting for Marcy while she had her knee replacement (2nd one), and was passing the time chatting with the other women there.  I was curious, and asked one of the women what they were there for, and she leaned in close, very private, and giggled "I'm getting my kitty tightened".

Now......that's a response from an average, general-population woman.  She said what she was having done, then leaned back, smiled, and started talking about an asparagus recipe she liked.  So.  for her, 'nuf said. 

In general, genetic women don't really talk much about their vaginas, and don't really have a good understanding of their anatomy.  And maybe it should be so for us.  No biggie.  Boys have outties, and girls have innies. 
Do you have an asparagus recipe you like?

[Julie Wilson]

It would be nice if we could take our vaginae for granted after SRS and transition.  Sadly that is not always the case.

My favorite way to prepare asparagus is to cut the tips off and steam the tips and then to eat the stems raw in a salad.

My point, the point of this thread (for those who missed it) is that this section of the forum is called post op LIFE.  As in let's talk about our LIVES after transition, not our vaginae.

You know.. the usual... Being female (or male if you transitioned that way) dating, careers, social stuff, job stuff...  Places you want to move to.  Experiences you have had.  The process of growing into your life after transition.  The process of leaving transition behind and creating a history of having been your true sex.

[AbraCadabra]

Well hon if that title had said e.g.: "How come do so many..." it would have helped to prevent a misunderstanding? - at least with me initially.

I live an older female's life, single. Even old buggered up, burned out, unhealthy males prefer 25 year olds (at least in their dreams) AND WHO WANTS TO BLAME THEM?

So I cook for myself, hardly go out dining on my sweet own... and if, it be to some sort of family restaurant or other.

I do Pilates once a week, with 4 – 5 more VERY shapely women... plus one older unfit male now and again. I'm getting some or other odd look at times, and I guess they wonder about my square frame, facial features, etc. etc. but I'm not 'outed' there and have no intention to do so.

I go to a beauty salon once a week mostly for electrolysis, but also for having my nails done now and again.

Once or twice a month I drop in at a friend i.e. my ex and her husband or some former 'crush' and her new boyfriend... plus once in a blue moon get a visit from a fellow trans woman, now married and very busy to organise her own life.

I do NOT hanging out with any trans folks. Well, there are none I know really. So the only trans contact is with Susan's...

Otherwise I have to clean, maintain my house I live in, shop for food, and once in a while buy some cloths when I can not 'hold it off' anymore.

I have no money for any form of extravagances, no holiday trips, tours, cruises and some such. Pitty

Bottom line: I simply live... pretty boring, eh?

Axélle

[Jamie D]

Sarah, you're a very strong person!  Now that you are really and truly yourself, you're going to be even stronger and more dynamic.

[Ms Bev]

Oh!............You mean the whole REST of my life?  Would bore most to tears, some not.  In the rest of my life I'm finally retired.  We don't see many people, really.  Money is tight at the moment, but will get better.  We occasionally see some friends from church, and participate in a book club (she does, I might).  I adore my grandchildren, love my daughter and son more than life.  I love to take pictures, and spend time in my 'back 40' sanctuary, which is really just shy of an acre of canopy, green screen and peace in a ruralish area......there I spend a great deal of time pondering things, and wondering why I always end up with a drunken assh on my starboard side.  The other neighbors enjoy talking to Marcy and I, and no one has asked us what happened to Mike.   I luv our pups, and two of them are 14 years old.  The other is less than a year, and I'm considering strongly getting a Tamaskan doggie when my buddy passes on.  We're just in the planning stages of finally doing some travelling, probably involving a cruise to Alaska, and if we can, I'd like to spend some time exploring the rest of these United States.
So, it's like asking anyone else.........whaddya do when your not thinkin or talkin about you vaginae?  Do?  We do all the things that people do I guess.  And I know that there is a whole spectrum out there of people who have money to those that don't, to people who look super, and those who don't, that in our smallish part of the general population can make a critical difference between blending and not blending, to those with a congruent female voice to those with an incongruent male voice..........and.........I like to roast my asparagus sometimes....