Deposit made and SRS Date confirmed

[Melissa]

Well, I now have my new surgery date.  March 7, 2008 in Thailand with Dr. Chettawut.  I wired the money about 2 weeks ago, found the bank had screwed up and after eventually getting them to admit their mistake and transfer the missing money, I now finally have confirmation of my surgery date.  So, that's in about 11 months from now.  Luckily I have Rashelle to mentor me for the preparation (assuming we can keep ourselves off of each other long enough).  This will be a difficult year, financially speaking, but I am determined to get this done and paid for.

[BeverlyAnn]

Wonderful news Melissa.  And the date will be here before you know it!!!!!

Beverly

[Steph]

That's great news MEW, I'm sure that everything will work out as you have planned it and the date will be here before you know it.

Steph

[Melissa]

Thanks Bev and Steph.  Yep, time can go fast when you are busy looking at the details of things.  Oh, Rashelle and I discovered an interesting phenomenon.  When we are close together, we have estimated that time goes 5 times as fast as it normally does.  That should make the surgery date come sooner.

[angelsgirl]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! *confetti thrown*

I'm so proud of you, Melissa!

[JaneX]

Congratulations Melissa,

So have you given any thought to the terminology in your gender correction letter? If you want it to state specific things, get it written or agreed to before your surgery, so you don't get double crossed by the biases of a particular doctor Eh!

The letter language is very important and should state at minimum that you are now female both legally and medically under the law. There should be a distinct attempt to clarify that you are no longer a "Transsexual"

peace

JaneX

[Dennis]

Congrats Melissa. May it pass quickly.

Dennis

[Melissa]

Thanks Kelly, Jane, and Dennis.  I don't want the time to pass too quickly, since I still need to pay the rest of the cost.  I just want it to seem quick.   I hadn't thought too much about the letter.  I thought it was just a standard letter that the doctor types up for you and I have yet to hear a complaint about somebody not accepting a letter from him.

[stephb]

Congratulations Melissa. Your transition and attitude has been an inspiration for me. I'm glad that things are working out well for you.

Steph

[JaneX]

Thanks Kelly, Jane, and Dennis.  I don't want the time to pass too quickly, since I still need to pay the rest of the cost.  I just want it to seem quick.   I hadn't thought too much about the letter.  I thought it was just a standard letter that the doctor types up for you and I have yet to hear a complaint about somebody not accepting a letter from him.

Hi Melissa, please understand, it is not that others will dispute the letter as to under going GRS. It is more what you want your GRS to accomplish for you. So, if you don't want others to use your letter to suggest you are only a post operative transsexual, please give the content a very careful consideration and make sure that your Doctor will support your view.  The letter is the only clear piece of evidence courts and others will view you from its content, so it must address in the strongest way that you are female legally and medically and that you are not male or a transsexual.

Believe me and simply talk to other women in our situation, did you decide to have the surgery simply to be accepted as a Transsexual or did you have the surgery to be the women you know you are..... GRRRRRRRR..

Jane

[Melissa]

I see what you mean by how I want to be seen.  Medically, I am already female through both my insurance an doctor's office.  DOL has me as female already and just about every new form I fill out I list myself as female.  The letter he makes should be enough to change, birth cert, ssa, and any other documents I need to be listed as female and a lawyer should be able to help me with a legal gender change (according to state laws) with a letter stating I have had reassignment surgery.  My girlfriend has a letter from the same doctor I am going to, so I'll review the wording on that to make sure it is acceptable.

Ok, I reviewed it and it says what the person has had performed and that they should now be considered both medically and legally an infertile female.  To me, that's perfectly acceptable.

[JaneX]

Melissa

One other small point is not to have any verbiage stating you were once or identified as a transsexual, the reason is that the term transsexual is not the same term used even ten years ago.  The term today is way to inclusive and there are even those who with to use the term after correction.....Yuck!

Well good luck again, but remember that once outed after gender correction, you will not be viewed as female by 99% of those discovering that information. Also there is little recourse under the law.

Look at the cases were GRS persons have married, enjoyed long relationship with their legal spouse, only to have the marriage declared void upon the death of the spouse by the in laws.....

Take care

Your physical transition is almost at an end.... I hope your legal transition fairs as well.

Jane

[gothique11]

That's great, Melissa -- congrats! I hope your surgery goes well.

[Melissa]

One other small point is not to have any verbiage stating you were once or identified as a transsexual, the reason is that the term transsexual is not the same term used even ten years ago.  The term today is way to inclusive and there are even those who with to use the term after correction.....Yuck!

Eeek, I didn't see your reply right away.  I can't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure I remember that it said that I was to be considered female both legally and medically.  It didn't say transsexual female.

Well good luck again, but remember that once outed after gender correction, you will not be viewed as female by 99% of those discovering that information. Also there is little recourse under the law.

Right, I know that.  I have parts of my life where I'm stealth (like work and a few of my friends) and parts where others know (like at work where I transitioned) and although I am genreally treated the same for the most part, there are subtle differences.  I don't plan on going full stealth anytime soon, since I'm already too well known in the community, but I know you are saying that I should make sur eI have the option.

Look at the cases were GRS persons have married, enjoyed long relationship with their legal spouse, only to have the marriage declared void upon the death of the spouse by the in laws.....

Yeah, I wish.  That would have saved me a bunch of money.  Well, I'm going through a divorce now, so it doesn't really matter.

Take care

Your physical transition is almost at an end.... I hope your legal transition fairs as well.

Thank you very much Jane.

That's great, Melissa -- congrats! I hope your surgery goes well.

Thanks gothique

[JaneX]

  no eeks, it described me as a naturally occurring transsexual .......that I am now legally and medically a sterile female. It is just that transsexual even in this context the reader requires a great deal of understanding, that most people lack.

Jane

[molly]

I'm very happy for you, congratulations.

Maya

[Melissa]

Thanks Maya.

[melissa90299]

I ma happy you decided to go with Chettawut instead of that Reed guy in Miami. I don't have a date yet but Kunaporn might have something as early as July. I chose him because I know two people in real life who are very pleased with his work.

->-bleeped-<-, I haven't even thoight about all the legal stuff though!

I am F on my DL. I already know that Maryland will change my gender with a surgery letter. I don't know why but the legal stuff doesn't seem that importnat to me right now.

Melissa

One other small point is not to have any verbiage stating you were once or identified as a transsexual, the reason is that the term transsexual is not the same term used even ten years ago.  The term today is way to inclusive and there are even those who with to use the term after correction.....Yuck!

Jane

I wasn't aware that any documents carried any denotation except male or female. Some states still only recognize one's birth gender. (Florida?)

[Lydia]

Congrats Melissa. That's fantastic news. 

[seldom]

I ma happy you decided to go with Chettawut instead of that Reed guy in Miami. I don't have a date yet but Kunaporn might have something as early as July. I chose him because I know two people in real life who are very pleased with his work.

->-bleeped-<-, I haven't even thoight about all the legal stuff though!

I am F on my DL. I already know that Maryland will change my gender with a surgery letter. I don't know why but the legal stuff doesn't seem that importnat to me right now.

Melissa

One other small point is not to have any verbiage stating you were once or identified as a transsexual, the reason is that the term transsexual is not the same term used even ten years ago.  The term today is way to inclusive and there are even those who with to use the term after correction.....Yuck!

Jane

I wasn't aware that any documents carried any denotation except male or female. Some states still only recognize one's birth gender. (Florida?)

It should be, because if you are not concerned it is the one thing that can haunt you for the rest of your life and prevent you from getting jobs, and applying for loans amoung other things.  There is also the real ID act which will cause havoc, especially for those who were not fortunate enough to be born in a state where you can change your birth certificate.  Knowing the law and how it could effect you should be as much of a priority as surgery, and for many TS, its not.  It may not seem important to you right now, but it is absolutely critical.  The better informed you are the less likely you are to make stupid mistakes.  I was WELL aware of the laws going into this process even at this early point in my transition.  It will be a few years before I do get SRS, but I already know my legal standing.   

I personally have to stay in North America for SRS, because I was born in Illinois.  Illinois only allows a change in gender on the certificate if the Doctor is licensed in the US (there are only five licensed in the US who regularly perform the surgery, including Dr. Brassard in Montreal).  Taking the effects of the Real ID act and other problems one can face legally and in life if things are not squared away, I have no issue with paying thousands more and have everything legally sound, in addition to being medically sound. 

Remember this is the only medical proceedure that can change an important aspect of legal documents, making it as much a legal procedure as a medical one.