what makes a woman feminine?

[Renae.Lupini]

Renae, your avatar screams femininity as much as any that I have seen here yet you challenge the "accepted" (patrairchal) tenets of femininity. (the Blanche Dubois/Scarlett O'Hara types)

I am my own woman and do not need the acceptance or approval of a man or anyone for that matter to quantify my being. I am me and I f'n love me. 

[melissa90299]

Renae, your avatar screams femininity as much as any that I have seen here yet you challenge the "accepted" (patrairchal) tenets of femininity. (the Blanche Dubois/Scarlett O'Hara types)

I am my own woman and do not need the acceptance or approval of a man or anyone for that matter to quantify my being. I am me and I f'n love me. 

Nothing wrong with that? Where are you, do you have any frequent flyer miles?



I gotta run to my recovery group, should be interesting as I have stirred all the women up to speak out about the men wasting our time with their inappropriate comments in the mixed groups!

[Renae.Lupini]

I am in northern Virginia.

[ssindysmith]

I am my own woman and do not need the acceptance or approval of a man or anyone for that matter to quantify my being. I am me and I f'n love me. 

You go girl

[Renae.Lupini]

I am my own woman and do not need the acceptance or approval of a man or anyone for that matter to quantify my being. I am me and I f'n love me. 

You go girl

TY 

[Maebh]

I have been following this thread for a while and saw a lot of interesting and sometime contradictory definitions. What might seem feminine (or sexy?) for one might not be for an other. 

I certainly concur but as a feminist I must say that it is a little disturbing to read that so many of us cling to the patriarchal ideal of femininity.

Exactly, but feminist doesn't have to mean butch either. If a woman looks pretty or desirable because it is the way she feels why should she have to give this up to fit. If she feels free and powerfull in her attractiveness why should she hide her light and radiance under a bushel? Do we need to replace a rigid phalocratic definition of "feminity" by its opposite?  Do we need to throw away the shackles of gender definition to create new norms or forms of limitations to the expression of the feminine ( or the masculine). I for one don't think so, but again I always was and always will be a rebel and a free spirit. >

HLLL&R

Maebh 

[Renae.Lupini]

I am not trying to step on toes with this, but why is that when the word feminist is used it automatically gets a butch man hating denotation put onto it?

[karmatic1110]

I am not trying to step on toes with this, but why is that when the word feminist is used it automatically gets a butch man hating denotation put onto it?

Unfortunately, the the most vocal and extreme of any group of people tend to make an impression.

Charlotte

[Renae.Lupini]

True

[Maebh]

I am not trying to step on toes with this, but why is that when the word feminist is used it automatically gets a butch man hating denotation put onto it?

Would it have anything to do with strident and vociferous butch man hating activists dismissing and excluding feminine, men loving women as stupid blind cows? Unfortunately at some stage of development of the feminist movement this Stalinist and exclusive vocal minority (Mary Daly, Janice Raymond and others) tried to highjack it and exclude any one who didn't share their vision and analyses. Of course the patriarcal establishment was delighted and gave them all the platforms they needed to preach their distorted message of hate and exclusion. Fortunately others like Nancy Friday or Rosalind Miles amongs them brought back a more inclusive and loving perspective to it.
So a few limelight hungry raving lunatics gave the movement a bad name, but a much greater number have worked diligently to foster understanding and bring longlasting change.
Now, like in all movement for change, in the Feminist movement like on this board, the choice is clear between prejudice and exclusion or understanding and inclusion. I know where I stand on that one.

HLLL&R

Maebh

[melissa90299]

I am not trying to step on toes with this, but why is that when the word feminist is used it automatically gets a butch man hating denotation put onto it?

Because it makes men feel more manly by categorizing us that way.

[Renae.Lupini]

it isn't only men though that do it. A lot of women stereotype us into that category as well.

[Rachael]

steriotypes only change, when we do something about them. I find i get crap from other trans people for not being feminine enough, or being to tomboyish. Well im not here to change me, just my body, Girls Can be feminine even when doing something masculine, or behaving tomboyishly. Femininity, in my eyes, is a presence, not a set of behavioral patterns...

[Renae.Lupini]

the reason for being called tom-boys is that there is still femininity present. Rock on with your bad self! great example of just being yourself for your own personal happiness.