What is gender therapy like?

[nanospirt]

Hey, I am an ftm teenager who's pursuing HRT. For where I live, I'll most likely need an HRT letter from a gender therapist with a GID diagnosis before beginning T. I've had a nice therapist for barely under a year now, who doesn't have any specific LGBT experience. Would I have to find another therapist to also meet with to discuss gender specifically? What sort of atmosphere was it for you? What questions would I probably be asked about my feelings around gender, disregarding the obvious medical history babble in the beginning?

[Laurie]

Hi Nano,

  I'm Laurie. I've never had therapy at all before starting to see my gender therapist but I  would imagine it will be much like the therapy you now get. Except it will be more talking to understand you and how you feel about your gender and what you desire to have happen. It is a completely fluid conversation you will have with the therapist just like I imagine you have now.

Laurie

[Roll]

Agreed, it shouldn't really be much different from your current therapy, just focused on gender issues. (Assuming the therapists use the same techniques, but that is more about the person than the specialty, and is pretty ubiquitous nowadays anyway unless you go out of your way to seek someone who does something special.)

[MeTony]

Your therapist can not give you the letter, but maybe she can help you find a gender therapist?

I saw my psychologist a year ago, and told her I'm FTM. She said I was to think it through. I did. Then I met my psychiatrist this spring and told her I'm FTM. She said to think about it for 6 months. This fall I saw her again and she sent a letter to a gender therapist where I live.

My psychiatrist excused her self so much because she could not help me. I knew this. But it would have been nice because I've known her for over 10 years. She even said she had seen me as male from the beginning. But she can't do gender therapy.

That is the way it is done in Sweden. Psychologist/psychiatrist -> gender therapist -> diagnose -> HRT + OP

Gender therapy can be fast or up to 2 years or more depending on different things that can happen during therapy.


Tony

[KathyLauren]

When I first went to my gender therapist, I already knew I was transgender.  I told her that I was there because I was pretty sure I was transgender, and that I wanted to move forward towards transition.

It was pretty much a formality in my case.  She asked about my gender history, why I thought I was transgender, how long I had felt this way, any incidents I could recall that leaned in that direction.  She asked about my crossdressing history, and wanted to know about any psychological traumas.  That is not the time to hold back, so I answered those questions honestly.

By the end of the first session, she told me that she didn't anticipate any problems in giving my my HRT letter.  The remaining two sessions were mostly dealing with the informed consent requirement: making sure I knew what I was getting into.

I'll be doing another round, starting soon, to get my letters for surgery.  I expect it will be more of the same.

[sf_erika]

When I started gender therapy, I didn't fully understand where I was.  All I knew was that I had issues with my gender identity, and that it was causing me a lot of anxiety, but I wasn't quite sure how to figure things out beyond there.  My therapist helped me work through the daily stress (what was really at the heart of it), helped dig more deeply into me as a person, and helped me come to terms with being transgender.  It wasn't a diagnosis she ever gave me, but she let me get to that on my own.      There's also the added layer that im married, so the stress around coming out to my wife and our relationship since then has also taken some time. 

I'm not quite sure how that would've differed had I known that I was trans from the beginning.  Maybe it would be like my current sessions, where we talk about transition, plans, stress, and the relationship with my wife.  But overall I agree with others, it's probably not very different from your current therapy - just focused on gender issues. 

Erika


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[Lucy Ross]

I had difficulty finding a good one - a group of transwomen I asked didn't really have much input, they'd transitioned years ago  and just viewed therapy as a formality they'd had to deal with.  I went to a therapist who claimed to specialize in gender issues; it was OK; later I heard some rather unsavory things about this person.  I'm between a huge city and a medium size one and this person was in the medium size one, perhaps I would have had better luck just picking out a therapist in the huge town.

A transwoman I met (who told me some of the creepy things about therapist #1) recommended her therapist to me - I enjoyed our session a lot, she had some insightful things to contribute and made me feel good about myself, was wholly non-judgmental, and so forth.  I'd go back to her on a regular basis but it's hard for me to drive to her office and I just don't have much money to throw around.

I asked her for a letter of recommendation to an endocrinologist and she was ready and willing to give me one, which was nice to hear too - she didn't think I was deluding myself in some way.

Another thing I did before all of this was to just spend a couple of weeks writing down everything about my life that might have any bearing on my issues, so I wouldn't waste time at a session trying to dredge up memories.  I don't see how that could be a bad tactic for therapy.

[amydane]

I live in a fairly rural city in Utah, and there aren't any gender therapists.I'm curious if any of you have tried a tele-gender therapist (like a Skype therapist visit), if so any recommendations?

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[Roll]

I live in a fairly rural city in Utah, and there aren't any gender therapists.I'm curious if any of you have tried a tele-gender therapist (like a Skype therapist visit), if so any recommendations?

Telemed therapy is what I'm doing for a number of reasons. Mine only serves Georgia though so can't offer recommendations, but in general I'm a big supporter/fan of telemed. (Though full disclaimer, when I do work, it is IT for telemed so may be biased. )

It really ultimately depends on you personally if it works or not. For some people the in person experience can't be replicated. For others (like myself), at least getting started with a face on a screen helps be a lot more open and forthcoming in a way that I could never be in person. (Though the goal is to reach that point.) But as the goal is to bring resources to people in rural or small areas without said resources, it does its job admirably.

[Meghan]

I have go to my doctor to get prefers to talk to my Therapist.  After two sessions I got diagnosed as Transgender and ok for Hormones Replacement. Since I know I am Transgender for 40 years, and in the session I just show her that I am Transgender.

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[Josilyn]

I live in a fairly rural city in Utah, and there aren't any gender therapists.I'm curious if any of you have tried a tele-gender therapist (like a Skype therapist visit), if so any recommendations?

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I'm not sure where you are located, but have you checked the Utah Pride Center:  https://utahpridecenter.org I used to live near Park City and drove all the way there for my therapist. They are really awesome there and also have a support group.

[Sarah_P]

My experience was similar to Kathy's. I already knew I was transgender, so she asked the same type of questions - all the things that lead me to believe I was.
On my 2nd visit, which was also my very fist time in public dressed, she said she'd have the HRT letter for me on my next visit (and she did!). I'm still seeing her every other month now (it was once a month from June to September). I do need to ask her for a letter for my gender marker change next time (not 100% sure I'll need it, but I want to be sure I've got my bases covered).

[amydane]

I'm not sure where you are located, but have you checked the Utah Pride Center:  https://utahpridecenter.org I used to live near Park City and drove all the way there for my therapist. They are really awesome there and also have a support group.

Thanks for the idea Josilyn! Unfortunately, I live in the Southern part of the State (near St. George area) so travel to Salt Lake is a little prohibitive.

Vegas is only 2 hours away so that would work better in some ways. It's a long way to go for a short visit. I'm not really into the whole gambling thing, and the shows are too expensive, so the trip is hard to justify.

I will need to pick my poison and choose one, so that I can get my letter for surgery. ...so many hoops!

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[DawnOday]

Thanks for the idea Josilyn! Unfortunately, I live in the Southern part of the State (near St. George area) so travel to Salt Lake is a little prohibitive.

Vegas is only 2 hours away so that would work better in some ways. It's a long way to go for a short visit. I'm not really into the whole gambling thing, and the shows are too expensive, so the trip is hard to justify.

I will need to pick my poison and choose one, so that I can get my letter for surgery. ...so many hoops!

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Good News... Dixie State in St George has a LGBTQ support group. The Resource Center supports DSU's LGBTQ+ students, staff, and faculty, as well as educates the campus's straight and cis community on how to be fully inclusive and welcoming of LGBTQ+ identities.  https://lgbt.dixie.edu/

If nothing else approach them for local resources such as gender therapists. I went to therapist at least 6 times since the 80's before I finally revealed my true reason for going. Mostly because of the subject being taboo. When I finally told my story, some 40 years later. I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders.

Try it and see.

[amydane]

Good News... Dixie State in St George has a LGBTQ support group. The Resource Center supports DSU's LGBTQ+ students, staff, and faculty, as well as educates the campus's straight and cis community on how to be fully inclusive and welcoming of LGBTQ+ identities.  https://lgbt.dixie.edu/

Lol! It's ironic that I am actually at Dixie State right now. Not that I attend school here (finished MBA in 2007), but work for a third party who visits campus monthly. I will have to check it out, thanks!!

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[Kylo]

For me it typically involved talking with a psychiatrist at the GIC first for diagnosis purposes (a Polish lady; I saw her 4 times and we discussed why I believe I am transsexual, and what I want to do about it, what I've done about it thus far).

It doesn't involve much giving of advice but rather me leading the conversation. I figure this is because they want to be sure you know what it is you really want. In my case I was already 100% sure and know what I want, so it was fairly straightforward. It's part of the policy of the NHS GIC where I am though for her to maintain regular contact and updates on my situation.

She pays particular attention to my support network and my relationship situation because she knows I don't have the best of support networks and am not in the most stable of positions financially. She checks up that my home living situation isn't too stressful and that I'm still satisfied with the progress of transition. So far I think she's been quite good and I am mostly happy with the way things are going.

I also had a supporting specialist doctor who was there to discuss how exactly I am coping with the process psychologically and what I am expecting to get out of transition when finished. He was a little trickier to deal with, as he was much more interrogative, and was paying a lot of attention to my mannerisms and whether or not I was behaving guardedly during our conversation, which I think was a detraction from the issues we were there to discuss. Anyway, he has moved on and now I'll be seeing the original specialist who signed my off on T a year ago instead to discuss surgery options hopefully. 

What questions would I probably be asked about my feelings around gender, disregarding the obvious medical history babble in the beginning?

When did you first feel you had an issue with your birth gender, and how did this manifest?
What are the relationships you have with significant others and how are they likely to react about your transition?
Are you aware of the risks of transition?
What do you expect to get out of transition?

stuff like that. Especially the last one.