How do you guys deal with gender dysphoria?

[Devlyn]

Bashing of people searching for or struggling with their gender is not going to be tolerated here, see Rule #10.

[Kelly J. P.]

Bashing of people searching for or struggling with their gender is not going to be tolerated here, see Rule #10.

If you believe that we are bashing the "tumblr crew", then perhaps you are reacting with more sensitivity than is due. Quote perceived bashing, and it may be addressed.

[poptart]

Perhaps we should review Susans definition of Transgender. "Anyone who transcends their birth gender for any reason." Those Tumblr kids are part of our community. Hugs, Devlyn

Yeah, I'm not talking about the entire transgender community. I'm referring ONLY to transsexual people who have symptoms that would constitute the diagnosis of GID. I couldn't care less what non-TS transgendered people do because they're completely irrelevant to this discussion and to my life.

Please point out exactly where I have bashed anyone.

[Devlyn]

Poptart, this is not the first time the percieved Tumblr problem has come up with you.

[poptart]

Poptart, this is not the first time the percieved Tumblr problem has come up with you.

Your point?

And I still don't know who I'm supposedly "bashing". If you do, then by all means, tell me, but don't just purport that I am and keep quiet.

[aleon515]

I don't know that all those "tumblr kids" are actually transsexual. I think there are plenty cis kids who play with gender and young genderqueer kids. I don't think the former "gender play" is actually anywhere on the trans* spectrum. It might even be considered a normal part of growing up these days. I think particularly of "bois" and the like. (Though some bois are actually androgyne.) I believe that genderf** and so on might be typical of certain kids now. They aren't trying to upset you, but perhaps society in general and society norms. It is a variation of let's get on our parent's nerves.

Though I find finding out that I am an androgyne to much more unsettling and frustrating than I see these kids presenting things (I'm speaking of the gq kids now.) I see also that my struggles are not to the depth of some of the people on this particular forum.

BTW, I have found pretty serious folks on tumblr so, I think that it all depends what you actually find there.  But I don't personally spend much time there.

--Jay Jay

[poptart]

I don't know that all those "tumblr kids" are actually transsexual.

Yup, and that's completely fine for the people who aren't. What I have a problem with are the ones who pretend they are, and that it's a positive thing. But this thread isn't about them. What I said was only posted to explain WHY that issue came up in the past, not to start another discussion on it.

[Traivs]

Poptart I hope this helps but when I am feeling particularly dysphoric I tend to go out of my way to be more outgoing even if i dont really feel like it. Last week was really bad and I felt horrible about myself but I forced myself to attempt to be social and even talk to people i dont really know and ended up talking to this girl who saw me as male and asked where my sons mother was. So if i didn't go out of my way to talk and be more outgoing I would have probably stayed in that state longer. I also draw little short story comics and paint to express myself or distract myself. Hope this gets it back on topic to help you.

[Elijah3291]

For me it is mostly finding good things in the bad.  Facing the fact that there are some things that I cannot change and try to either ignore them to the best of my ability, or learn to deal with them.  And looking forward to the things that I know will change one day.

also, dissociation, dissociation, dissociation.  I kinda adapted that.

[BMXJake]

I know this is a la Barney Stenson, but I just think about how awesome I am. Hahaha.

I'm going 4 months on T and I can't believe how much that has helped, too. I honestly thought it would actually make it a little worse- but finally having the physical features come that I have wanted for so long (beard, deepened voice, larger muscles, broader back/shoulders/chest) has given me an incredible amount of clarity.

Lately I get more socially dysphoric- like my dysphoria is about the fact that my name isn't changed, or gender on my ID- because I am strongly passing (passing as being six years younger than I actually am...but passing, haha). I get pissed off that I can't join the military, that we don't have as many civil rights as other groups, and that we have to go through all this stuff to change all of that but it's whatever- you can't stew in it.

The main times I have bottom dysphoria is mainly for sex reasons because I wish I could just use a urinal (I don't mess with an STP right now- too messy- especially since my anatomy's changed). My girlfriend and I finally got a penis from a sex store that did wonders for me as far as sex, and we recently purchased a VERY realistic one that did even more wonders for me. It feels more natural than the first one and makes me a lot happy- so that's helped a lot. 

Top dysphoria is a lot stronger- lately it's been bothering me because it's already freaking over 100 degrees daily and I HATE having to wear a binder so I'm always reminded. I also hate that I can't swim without wearing something on top- I can't wait for top surgery. Pools are really popular in Vegas and I'm always getting access to them. What really sucks is I'm already stealth to some of my girlfriend's friends, and she always goes to the pool with them but I don't go because it will out me or they'll think it's weird if I wear a shirt. But I think that'll change with working out and surgery.

I get sad thinking about it, but I just don't think about it and focus on the positives- like passing and all the awesome changes I have and that will come and far I've come in just one year.

So short answer: focusing on the changes that have happened, savoring the cool moments like when you pass, sex toys and working out helps a TON.

[GnomeKid]

I crush it with my mind vice.

[AlexanderReese]

the proud trans kids may be those kids who said "hey this is who i am. im proud to say it. even though i wasnt born physically how i feel inside, im proud i acknowledge who i am. im proud to identify as me. ive overcome self hatred, peer hatred, etc." thats how i view the rest of our trans community. were all brave for being who we are outloud. look at those of us who were raped, beaten, even killed. our pride is not only for ourselves but those who cant pride themselves. thats my input. ( sorry for typos. my phone hates me)

[A.T]

So uhhh, this may be a little awkward but I am one of those Tumblr kids (I say kid, I'm almost 21, so big kid ). So I just want to say I take no offence whatever to what poptart said. I'm proud of who I am, I don't flaunt it but I am proud, sure. I'm someone who has to find the funny and light hearted side of things in life otherwise I would cry, so laughter is better then crying, I do that on my blog also.

I've turned it around into a positive thing for the most part, as I've had to. I get excited about each new part of my transition as it's a new goal I've reached. I damn well parade when I do manage to get something and find it better as it improves my life and gets me to being ... well, me. So I will have a parade of rainbows and puppies if I want.

But I can also understand those that don't feel that way and I think everyone has a right to say what they feel and not be instantly pushed into the "bashing" category for voicing their opinion. It's theres to have, as is mine and anyones. Even if it contrary to yours. It's just how people feel and they shouldn't be put down for having a different mind then someone else.

But lets get this thread back on corse! I've already said the way I cope with things really, I laugh about them. I make jokes and turn things around to see the funny side. I also read, write and do art when I can be motivated to do so. I also draw on a fake beard, cus beards are cool. 

[Vincent E.S.]

Generally I find some way to dissociate.

Sometimes I deal with it by not just listening to music, but letting it wash over me and letting myself just dive into it until it seems that the sounds are the only things around me, almost as though I can feel them.
Sometimes I do the same with books. I read until my mind is inside it and the story is a part of me.
Sometimes I break down and almost-cry for a while (for some reason, my body just won't actually cry). When that happens, I have to just curl up until the moment is past. Then I go and watch stupid videos on Youtube or check up on various webcomics.
Sometimes I just go hang out with people who see me as the incredibly fabulous guy I am no matter what.
Sometimes I find something to cook or bake which requires lots of precision. Or at least chopping and slicing.
Sometimes I play with my dogs.
Every now and then when I'm home along I dig out some loud makeup and put it on in a clumsy, melodramatic way and look in the mirror and laugh at how I am definitely a guy.