Sadly no
If there is some give in the dilator then you should consider it as not dilating you. I am post op and made a mistake early on thinking similar to you and paid later on. Dilation is to challenge the walls of the new vagina into opening further, that is why it is really no fun at all.
By all means use it is you feel like pleasure but you should never consider it as a dilation session. You are also going to be entering a critical time in your healing in the next 2-3 months regardless of doctor and sticking to what you have been taught is the most important things you can ever do.
Dildos are what they say they are, sex toys...Dilators are dilators. Never take a risk regardless what you may hear is my most honest advice.