coming out to my grandparents

[spacecadet]

I've already come out to my partner, my mother, some of my managers at work and some of my coworkers, but there is one woman at work who knows my grandparents and I am worried that she may tell them before I've told them and because I am looking to start T asap and it will be counterproductive to hide at work, I must tell my grandparents. I've always been my grandpa's favorite and their beautiful girl and blah blah blah... they have always been there when I needed them, and I'm really worried this will break their hearts and just frustrate the hell out of them. But, I know they love me, even if sometimes I think they only love who they think I am, it's time for me to stand up and shout it out, because compared to some of the things they've been through with me, trans isssues are nothin', and I need them to understand I'm still their grandbaby, just their grandbabyboy.

and yes, I'm typing this somewhat to convince myself that I'm ready, so I could use all of the support and encouragement I could get, y'all!!!

sincerest thanks,
Alexander Carlos

[Your Humble Savant]

Hi there, welcome to Susan's 

First of all, I feel ya. I'm not trans, but I am a genderfluid bisexual, and to the best of my knowledge my grandparents are as yet unaware of this fact.

I'm really nervous to come out to them as well...my dad is trans, and while they've been supportive of her I have a feeling they've had a hard time getting used to it. Also, they were really excited to get a granddaughter when I was born, since their family is mostly boys. So they've always treated me as a stereotypical girl, buying me jewelry and clothes and getting me sappy birthday cards with fancy writing on them. One summer long ago, when I'd decided I was going to go without a bra because I could, my grandmother freaked 'cause it wasn't "proper" for me to be doing. Telling them that I'm genderfluid will, I'm sure, create tension that I just don't want to deal with.

I admire that you're so willing to up and be honest with them about who you are; that really takes a ton of courage. And I can really relate to what you said about feeling like they only love who they think you are. Be strong, be yourself, and know that if they aren't supportive in the way you need it, there are plenty of us here who are.

Best of luck to you.

[andrealmd]

Go for it! If they love you, they love you! I completely understand what you are going through, I'm at the point where I am starting to tell my family but it can be scary as hell. Just relax tell them and everything will be fine, as in they will know and you don't have to worry about them finding out anymore. Love is one of the most powerful things, always remember that!

[Jamie D]

First of all, I feel ya. I'm not trans, but I am a genderfluid bisexual, and to the best of my knowledge my grandparents are as yet unaware of this fact....

Telling them that I'm genderfluid will, I'm sure, create tension that I just don't want to deal with.

Perhaps a "need to know" approach would be best.  If they don't need to know, then why address it?

my dad is trans

Your dad is a really neat person!

[Your Humble Savant]

Hm. Good point, Jamie.

And yes, yes she is