Hi Shawn (btw, love Shawn to Shawn),
Well the problem with your question, is that only you can answer it. You can explore it, and see if it fits you. There are an awful lot of posts for you to read and even to respond to. Some of what you talk about like how you dress is called gender presentation. There are a lot of females that in a kind of androgynous style. AFAIK, you can still be a female without SRS. I mean I don't think anyone is necessarily checking. If you decide that you are androgyne this is not exactly STUCK. It isn't always easy, but I don't think you are looking for an easy route anyway. You want what makes you happiest and maybe most fullfilled. What might that be, I can't answer.
As for hormones, well there are doctors prescribing them to androgynes. As long as you are being closely monitored, if at some point, and there may or may not be some point, you will just (for various reasons) say "enough". But since you don't know...
I don't know a lot of mtfs on youtube, but this person "uppercase chase" is ftm
why i stopped t.Perhaps some of what he says might resonate.
--Jay Jay