Not being able to take T

[apple45]

I have various health issues that I've consulted various doctors with, meaning, unless T becomes a drug that doesn't correlate to issues that might risk my overall life, then I'll go the rest of my life without it. Just things I don't want to disclose, but I can't take the chemicals bottom line. This was really devastating news at first, to a point where I considered the "other, other" option. But as of recently, I'm very zen about it. I'm a very small man, 5'0 to be precise. I also weigh barely over 100 lbs. My big issue is not calling my body a "female" body, it helps me cope by asserting that because I'm male, my body is male. I know not everyone agrees on that view, but it's the only way I know how to honestly come to a safe zone within myself.

Now, I may get top surgery in time, I think that might help me, but I'll be stuck with my hips and pretty much looking like a 12 year old boy the rest of my life it seems, well into I get old and wrinkled. I don't have extreme bottom dysphoria, and I see it as a penis rather than a vagina. And I guess being read as male is good enough for me when it comes to social dysphoria. Even if my age is discounted for. I'm out of the closet to most of my friends, and I do work from home. So it's overall, a comfortable life I suppose, other than how I personally feel. But, it's how it is.

So I ask, for people who cannot take T, or choose not to, for whatever reason, what are your coping mechanisms? I know I'm a man, my body, while it causes lots of stress, it's male to me. What are your thoughts on this?

[supremecatoverlord]

I have various health issues that I've consulted various doctors with, meaning, unless T becomes a drug that doesn't correlate to issues that might risk my overall life, then I'll go the rest of my life without it. Just things I don't want to disclose, but I can't take the chemicals bottom line.

Testosterone isn't a chemical.
It's a sex hormone.

[Arch]

Testosterone isn't a chemical.
It's a sex hormone.

The term "chemical" is often used to refer to medications or drugs. With that said, I also think that since the T we use has to go through some sort of manufacturing process, it can be deemed a chemical.

For the OP, I'm not one of the guys you seek, but you might get some good strategies by widening your search a little. Most of us have had to adopt coping mechanisms to get us through a pretransition or pre-coming-out period. Of course, a lot of those mechanisms break down and we wind up transitioning.

Is there any chance that your situation will change, or is this pretty much permanent?

Anyway, I hope you get the responses you are looking for.

[Arch]

P.S. Apple45, I invite you to make a formal introduction in the Introductions section. And if you haven't already, be sure to read the Terms of Service at https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html and various and sundry other informative threads in the Announcements section.

Welcome to the site!

[aleon515]

I have various health issues that I've consulted various doctors with, meaning, unless T becomes a drug that doesn't correlate to issues that might risk my overall life, then I'll go the rest of my life without it. Just things I don't want to disclose, but I can't take the chemicals bottom line. This was really devastating news at first, to a point where I considered the "other, other" option. But as of recently, I'm very zen about it. I'm a very small man, 5'0 to be precise. I also weigh barely over 100 lbs. My big issue is not calling my body a "female" body, it helps me cope by asserting that because I'm male, my body is male. I know not everyone agrees on that view, but it's the only way I know how to honestly come to a safe zone within myself. ...

So I ask, for people who cannot take T, or choose not to, for whatever reason, what are your coping mechanisms? I know I'm a man, my body, while it causes lots of stress, it's male to me. What are your thoughts on this?

I'm not sure where the idea of not taking T comes from. Is it from yourself or medical needs or ...? I can't really tell by reading this.

T is definitely a chemical but so is water, all the foods you eat, and the air you breathe (and your own body). There is "natural transition", but I would submit that large doses of supplements (since the effects are unknown) may be more dangerous and not so natural either.

Working out and so on can aid in building up your body, but there are limitations that biology builds in. Somebody who passes as male at age 20 may not pass at 50. The reason someone passes when younger is you look like a pre-T male. As you get older (and I speak from experience here) you won't be able to look like a pre-T male.

I haven't taken T either as I am not sure that I am really a male (I know I'm not a female) but feel in between or neither. I have no advice, I think that no physical transition is a rough road. It might be doable, as it has been done historically but I am guessing the people who did it had high amts. of their own T inside them (FAAB people also produce T.)

I think your gender is within, so I have no problem calling anyone a male who feels like one.

--Jay Jay

[Arch]

I have had a male identity--mostly secretly--all my life. But I didn't actually SEE myself as male until 2008. I started T about seven months later. In that period, I didn't really use the kinds of coping mechanisms that I think will help someone in your position. Mostly I was just living in fifteen-minute increments.

During the 20 years that I didn't transition, I had lots of coping strategies, many of them not so great. Again, I think you probably need a whole different set of strategies.

Some guys have said that as long as THEY know they are male, they can function, no matter how other people see them. This attitude didn't work for me in the limited time that I tried it. I need to fit into society as male. I need to be seen as male by other people. Some people say that you shouldn't (or don't) transition so that others will see you as male, and I say that people's motives and goals vary. I would not have lasted much longer with people reading me as female. I had had about as much as I could take. I transitioned to feel more comfortable in my own body AND so that others would see me as male.

So I guess my question for you is, how do you balance, or want to balance, these two tensions--the personal versus the social? I suppose I should first ask, do others already read you as male (a lot, a little, always, not at all), and, if they don't always read you that way, how important is it that they do? Are you looking for strategies to help you with the personal, the social, or both? Or something else?

[King Malachite]

A chemical is a "compound or substance that has been purified or prepared, especially artificially".

A hormone is a "synthetic substance with a similar effect".

Something that is synthetic is "made by chemical synthesis, especially to imitate a natural product" and "a compound made artificially by chemical reactions".

Yes, sex hormones are naturally found in the body... but when it comes down to the T you use, it's a synthetic derivative. It's not like your using Testosterone that's come straight from some other dudes testes (which is where the largest amount of a cismale's T is produced, about 95%). Synthetic T has similar bioavailability and metabolic half life relative to Testosterone but isn't coming from another guy's testes. It's manufactured and artificially produced to mimic the effects of the sex hormone.
... That being said, many biomales have minimal, limited, or decreasing Testosterone levels naturally and Androgen Replacement Therapy is just one way biomales cope with below average levels. Some do nothing. It's a matter of preference and medical need. In your situation, it sounds like medical need is preventing you from medically transitioning. But again, medically transitioning is just one way to transition- with so many variations and no one right way.

Keep on keeping on. As long as you stay true to you, you will stay true to yourself. You know where you stand, what you do to cope is yours alone. Everyone has different needs. Dysphoria presents itself in many forms, as do coping mechanisms. If something isn't making you happy, change it. Change comes in so many shapes and forms- what helps me cope may not help you.

Thank you. 

Chipper has hit the nail in the head.



I can't even transition yet so T is definately out of the question for me.  However due to my crappy genetics there is a very good chance that I may not be able to T because of various health reasons.  In that particular case the only thing I can do is to get my health where it's in decent condition to start such as eating right and exercising (still working up the motivation for the later part).  Perhaps your health concerns can be reversed some so you could start?   If not then maybe you can try to increase your testosterone naturally (not sure if it works)  Aside from that the way I cope is that I look foward to the future.  Then again the situation is a bit different.  I say just try multiple things out for you as coping strategies to see what works for you the best.