Ask Matt: Should I Out an Old Crush?

[Shana A]

Ask Matt: Should I Out an Old Crush?

June 18, 2012 by Matt Kailey

http://tranifesto.com/2012/06/18/ask-matt-should-i-out-an-old-crush/?utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=twitterfeed

A reader writes: "One of my earliest crushes (when I was twelve years old) was on a boy I knew. He later revealed that he was a woman in a man's body (though not in those words). He has since undergone transition and is now a very pretty woman.

"When I recount past dating experiences and crushes, he (as I knew him as a male) is amongst the conversation. What pronouns should I use when I talk about having a crush on them, and if people ask me what happened to them, is it okay to say that he is a woman now?"

While this sounds like a pretty straightforward question with a pretty straightforward answer (which is: "There's really no need to mention her at all"), the truth is that we do enjoy reminiscing with our friends about our old relationships, our first crush, our first kiss, our first "time," and so on.