Tired of transphobia

[K Style Addiction]

I'm tired of transphobia to say the least first finding a video on the internet which was transphobic. Which just makes me want to vomit, i feel like we'll never be accepted and even the people that appear nice will still treat us with disrespect. I'm tired of fearing that when i go to San Francisco, i will be judged, picked on and treated with transphobia, just tired of all this bullsh*t. it's really so f'n hard to stay positive.

[Miharu Barbie]

Hi Donna,

As with all things in life, we get to choose whether we're going to focus our attention on the things that disturb our peace or whether we're going to focus our attention on the things that please us when we look at them.  Seriously.  If you were to close your eyes right now and try to remember something really crappy that someone did to you, and you just set with that for a while and really get into the feeling place of what it was like, you could get yourself quite wound up and upset in an instant with nothing more than a thought.  (Not just you, this is true of us all.)  On the other hand, if you were to close your eyes and try to remember a time when you felt extremely loved, a time when you felt honored, respected and cherished, and you just basked in the memory of that, pretty quickly you could get yourself into a really good feeling frame of mind; if you set with it long enough, I bet you might even generate that sweet swelling feeling in the center of your chest that sometimes comes with the feeling of being truly loved.

If you think about it, the fact that we can alter the emotional state of our bodies in an instant through the power of what we choose to focus on, that's really powerful stuff.  With a little determination, we can take the same kind of control over what we choose to focus on in the world around us.  What I like to do (and I'm constantly trying to train myself to do this all day every day) is in the instant that I notice myself having a negative emotional response to anything, just anything, I ask myself, "What could I do or think right now that would activate a feeling of relief?"  And then I look/feel around for something, anything, to do or think that would inspire a feeling of relief.  I personally find this very helpful as a tool to assist me in staying focused on what's important: that life is a beautiful miracle and I am pleased beyond words to be here having this amazing experience of being/becoming the woman of my dreams!!!

You're cute as a button.  Bask in that.  Why squander time focusing on stuff that makes you feel otherwise?  Life is too short to waste a single minute looking at, thinking about or interacting with anything that makes us feel bad about ourselves or about this beautiful world that we live in.

Hugs!
Miharu

[Natkat]

I'm tired of transphobia to say the least first finding a video on the internet which was transphobic. Which just makes me want to vomit, i feel like we'll never be accepted and even the people that appear nice will still treat us with disrespect. I'm tired of fearing that when i go to San Francisco, i will be judged, picked on and treated with transphobia, just tired of all this bullsh*t. it's really so f'n hard to stay positive.

I know the felling, somethimes I feel like hating the whole world, Because No matter how things are I cant stop thinking how we still are opressed, and how we probably (at least not in my lifetime) will be fully accepted.
I can't stop thinking of all the hating, and poor living going on just for the simple fact someone is transgender.

theres so many caises, with so many people yet its so ignored, it makes me angry.

I try think positive for sure,
I try to think about those people I know who accept me, and I try to think of how things had changed for a short time. few years ago, I was on a homepage for education and there where almost nothing about gender and sex, now I saw it again and its filled with information. its maked me really happy.
those small changes are actually big, so its a mixture of happyness for suport of the goods, and anger for the ignorants and haters.

[Cindy]

Every day we walk out of the house we fight transphobia. Every time we talk to the shop assistant and be pleasant and nice and have a joke a smile, we fight transphobia. Every time we are polite in public we fight transphobia. Every-time we help someone who just needs a helping hand holding a shopping trolley while putting their child in it, we fight transphobia.

We are the people who can make the change. No one else will. We prove that we are normal pleasant happy people. We then win.

You may have seen the You Tube footage of the woman being bullied by kids on a bus in the USA.  These bullies don't care if you are TG , white, black, yellow, green with pink spots or fat or thin. They are just ignorant jerks who get off at bullying.

When we stand up for ourselves we win. They lose.

Be confident Donna, you are going to a new country and a very TG friendly city. Go with confidence and excitement, not with fear of what may happen, but with the joy of meeting people who will accept you.

Enjoy

Cindy

[cindianna_jones]

Ouch. I don't pretend to know what's got you upset. But... I've been through many personal attacks in my time and I can certainly sympathize. If you are going to the bay area, things are a bit easier than much of the country. People are much more understanding. The only downside is that they are also acutely aware of us. Many more people know the signs. Still, hold your head high and exude confidence and a joyful demeanor. With a great attitude and great friends flocking around you, you'll have very few moments to discourage you.

Good luck! Chin up and all of that...

Cindi

[justmeinoz]

From what I have heard of San Fransisco from people who have been there, as long as you don't smoke in public and put your recycling in the correct bins, you could have two heads and nobody would comment. 

As Cindy said, every time we meet someone and show them we are just ordinary we chip away at the Transphobic gender order.

Karen.

[JoanneB]

Being a cynic I know there will never be an end to the haters. Just plain human nature. No way can any statistically insignificant minority undo millions of years of human evolution. Face it, how many times have you wished you weren't trans, or tried to "Fix" yourself?

Being a large fat stuttering 4-eyed target starting in early childhood and beyond, I've also gotten a bit philosophical about haters. The best you can do is try to show them, as gently and subtly as possible, that they just may be wrong. Over time, their opinions may change. Confrontation only brings you down to their level. Not a place I want to be.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Haters will hate.  It does not matter if you are Trans, gay, Hispanic, Black, White, man or woman.  They are an ignorant, narcissistic bunch.

To deal with them, I say if they don't pay the rent, put food on the table, or walk in your shoes: Don't let them rent space in your head.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Donna,

Well, after what

Miharu,
Natkat,
Cindy James,
Cindi Jones,
Karen,
Joanne and
Janet

have said; there is nothing more to say.

I only amplify the cumulative wisdom of these giants.

Gain the benefit of their wisdom and re read their knowledge and wisdom until you own it.

Huggs
Catherine