Don't drink again until you get help. It lowers inhibitions, impairs brain functions, and can make you feel worse. Do things that make you feel good instead. When you feel depressed or suicidal, WAIT IT OUT. It sucks, yes, but it will pass and then you can live long enough to beat it. If you die, you can never beat it and you would miss out on anything good that happens. I know that, when one feels really down, it's hard to remember that, but good things do happen. Not to mention that the feeling of beating depression is amazing and is so worth the wait. You have that to look forward to.
(If you can get it where you are, I would recommend a kind of therapy that teaches skills such as CBT.)