Quote from: Rowan Rue on March 24, 2013, 02:08:21 PM
You look so lovely in these photos Miranda 
More and more yes! It's the best feeling in the world.
I was thinking about how some people find salvation in christ, and that some of those people misguidedly seek to convince those of us who don't fit their mold that if only we "let god into our hearts" we'd be able to "get over" being trans or gay or whatever. And I realized that for me, this IS salvation. I had lost my sense of magic and wonder at the profound beauty of the world, and now for the first time in so very, very long it's coming back. I have found god, and she is inside me
On a side note the way your photos were all joined together, and something about the lighting in them conspired to make me think it was one photo of you surrounded by mirrors, then my brain broke because I was all "argh! the reflections are impossible!!!"
Rowan, you understood exactly what I was trying to say. Although I still believe in Christ, I'm no longer feeling guilt of any kind over my need to transition. I can be just walking by a mirror and catch my reflection, and think something like, "Wow, that's really me! I'm finally who I've always wanted to be, but no longer believed I could. Yet I'm doing it, living my life as the woman I've always been. Wow!" And even when I feel less than satisfied when I look in the mirror, I'm still happy, because I've made my life worth living, enjoyable and special. I also have at least a few moments every single morning when I put on my makeup where I feel warm and comfortable inside, and know I'm pretty for my age, and I thank God that he spared me when I tried to kill myself those three times. After more than forty years of sadness so deep I tried to end my existence, I've really had to learn to like, then love myself and it's a daily thing I consciously do, keeping myself clean, soft, smooth, getting dressed nicely and putting on makeup, even if I don't think I'm going to go anywhere. Those things just enforce in me how I already feel, that I'm a woman, and that I deserve to have happiness and peace in my heart. Anyway, thank you Rowan, very, very much. Your compliments mean a lot to me. I look at you as a really classy woman and I absolutely love your style. You are gorgeous, and your clothes should be on rock stars too! Hugs, Mira
