Broke down at therapist's office and now pretty much feeling nothing

[harlee]

Wow she sounds like a terrible therapist  I think it is a good idea to see someone better, so I hope your psychiatrist appointment goes  really well

My first was bad too. He just had no idea about transgender issues and I wasted a year with him. The second one I found has been great, and he is helping me to get on testosterone without my parents permission while I am not 18

[Stewie]

I have heard that some therapists will intentionally misgender you or openly discourage you, I suppose as a test or to gauge how serious you are.

Personally, I don't need a therapist like that, and I certainly don't need one who does it because she's clueless.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I agree with the others. Something is very wrong here. If you do see her again, consider asking her why she misgendered you repeatedly. Tell her how you feel about it. If she doesn't clean up her act, leave. But I think you're better off finding someone else.

I thought this after I got out of the session. I thought the misgendering was a test or something. When it was happening I just didn't know what to say. It was just weird to me and I stayed quiet. Eh, whatever. She's stupid. And I'm not going to her again.

She asked me when my birthday was, I told her and she said, and maybe when you're 21 you'll be able to make a better decision...Apparently that would make allllll the difference!

[aleon515]

I thought this after I got out of the session. I thought the misgendering was a test or something. When it was happening I just didn't know what to say. It was just weird to me and I stayed quiet. Eh, whatever. She's stupid. And I'm not going to her again.

She asked me when my birthday was, I told her and she said, and maybe when you're 21 you'll be able to make a better decision...Apparently that would make allllll the difference!

Intentionally misgendering may be a kind of test, but it is a worthless, deceptive, and cruel one. IMO, it's a serious red flag whether it's some sort of test or not. I can see a unintentional slip, but this was continuous and quite intentional.

Idiot woman! I'm sure with a whole lifetime of knowing this, you are going to change your mind in a couple years. I'm glad your'e not going to her again. Keep in mind that you might have to actively "shop".

--Jay Jay

[insideontheoutside]

I agree with the others that therapists who basically try to head f**k you with stupid "tests" like intentionally misgendering you to see what your reaction is, is a crap therapist.

While I do believe that they have to have some sort of procedure to verify the diagnosis before recommending treatment, I don't deal well with a therapist that plays games like that and I've personally stood up in a session and ripped certain therapists a new one for that sort of behavior. This is one of the reasons why I don't even go to therapists anymore. I've been to so many of them that I know their job inside and out, when they have no clue, and even what their supposed recommendations for me are going to be before they say them.

Yet I know other people who swear by therapy and say they had a wonderful experience and the therapist really helped them. Seems like a crap shoot to me. Unless one comes on a very high recommendation from someone you trust.

[Arch]

Yet I know other people who swear by therapy and say they had a wonderful experience and the therapist really helped them. Seems like a crap shoot to me. Unless one comes on a very high recommendation from someone you trust.

I think it IS a crap shoot unless you have a recommendation. Even with a recommendation, you might not get a therapist who is a good "fit," and getting one can take some shopping around.

I've had a couple of nice but ineffectual therapists, one guy who ran an awesome substance abuse group, one guy I clearly couldn't trust because of his religious bias (I had to find out the hard way), and one guy who royally messed me up, although I think he meant well.

Then my current therapist. He is pretty awesome.

On average, my experiences have been...average.

[aleon515]

I agree with the others that therapists who basically try to head f**k you with stupid "tests" like intentionally misgendering you to see what your reaction is, is a crap therapist.

While I do believe that they have to have some sort of procedure to verify the diagnosis before recommending treatment, I don't deal well with a therapist that plays games like that and I've personally stood up in a session and ripped certain therapists a new one for that sort of behavior. This is one of the reasons why I don't even go to therapists anymore. I've been to so many of them that I know their job inside and out, when they have no clue, and even what their supposed recommendations for me are going to be before they say them.

Yet I know other people who swear by therapy and say they had a wonderful experience and the therapist really helped them. Seems like a crap shoot to me. Unless one comes on a very high recommendation from someone you trust.

I'm sure that mind f**ing is not any kind of recommended treatment technique. Not saying that a lot of idiots out there aren't using it. But there are other ways of finding out these things, like say asking intelligent questions, listening, and so on.

I agree it is hard. I have never tried to find a gender therapist (have a friend who is-- yikes-- kind of discouraging). It is hard to find a decent anything therapist and I had many more misses than hits, let's just say.

--Jay Jay

[Frank]

Surprisingly, my first and only therapist was a religious older white male who didn't shove his ideas down my throat. Reading through this, that seems a lucky shot. Medical folk aren't supposed to hurt their patients, so I have no idea why some of this bs flies. Drop kick that therapist and get a new one that actually is helpful sorting things out.