Not depressed, but a bit melancholy this morning. Went online to my hometown newspaper and saw the publication of the petition for my name change under Legal Notices. I guess this is really happening.
I never hated the name Joseph Henry Ko***, but it never really fit me or expressed the way I felt. And now I no longer even think of myself as the person who was raised with that name. It's been 62 plus years since I was born, and until I began to privately think of myself a Kathy more than 20 years ago I couldn't imagine being named differently. Nobody ever called me by another name, and until I came out to my family in January only my therapist and doctor used the name Kathy. No, I never had a nickname or used my middle name, so I only responded to people when addressed by the name my parents had given me. O.K. so there were always a few derogatory or brutally homophobic names cast my way, but those don't count. There was one pleasant part of having that given name because it matched my wife's name so closely, and at times it made introductions at a party or event a little more interesting.
I think my mother and father would have been confused by what I have to do, but they most likely would have accepted my life, and they'd probably like the name that I'll finally have. My new first name grew out of a special and very personal childhood memory. And since my mother insisted on honoring her uncle with my middle name, the new middle name will be Henna, which in Finnish is a feminine version of Henry.
So ... Katherine Henna Ko*** - It means: Pure, Ruler of her home, By the stream or river.
K
