Ludidrous

[RosieD]

So aside from the fact that this is a support site I can't  imagine  WHY I'm posting this aside from vacant curiosity. Does anyone else fluctuate between dispare, hope and the feeling  that you're  truly,  utterly, ridiculous?

[Devlyn]

You just described what a lot of people here have experienced. There are a lot of conflicting thoughts going through almost everyones mind, it takes time to sort out exactly who we are. Once you get there, the uncertainty goes away. Hugs, Devlyn

[BillieTex]

I felt that way before I accepted who i am and got on hormones - now I feel normal if there is such a thing

[Kelly J. P.]

 I used to feel that way. I don't get the feelings of despair much any more, if at all, but even now I still feel ridiculous at times, because I know that, while I may be a woman, my body will always be an altered male one, and there will always be malice for me because of that - at least, there would be if I were out about being trans (and/or visibly trans). What I'm doing is unnatural.

Unfortunately, it is also the only thing I can do to be happy, lead a normal life, and be a human being. I accept the consequences as I always have, as they are quite minor in comparison to the gains made by transitioning.

Transition is my salvation. I would be a fool to undo it for anything.

[jainie marlena]

So aside from the fact that this is a support site I can't  imagine  WHY I'm posting this aside from vacant curiosity. Does anyone else fluctuate between dispare, hope and the feeling  that you're  truly,  utterly, ridiculous?

yes, to all. the utterly ridiculous comes when I have a bad day and someone is cought off guard and sees me and laughs. But I get over it and move on. Despair happened a lot in the past but not anymore and hope just turned it to actions.

[crazy old bat]

Yep, quite often. Sometimes multiple times a day. If you could hear the things I say to myself out loud when people aren't around....

sigh

[jainie marlena]

Yep, quite often. Sometimes multiple times a day. If you could hear the things I say to myself out loud when people aren't around....

sigh

okay, I'm thinking in the present. despair does come and go just depends on what about. I know I want SRS but this is my place of despair. I focus on what I can do now to keep going and seek away for what I can't.

[Carolina1983]

Does anyone else fluctuate between dispare, hope and the feeling  that you're  truly,  utterly, ridiculous?

Yep I do.

[Siobhan]

Yep all the time

[Naturally Blonde]

So aside from the fact that this is a support site I can't  imagine  WHY I'm posting this aside from vacant curiosity. Does anyone else fluctuate between dispare, hope and the feeling  that you're  truly,  utterly, ridiculous?

After more than 12 years on HRT I do get a lot of dispare that HRT hasn't worked it's magic very well and I'm still bigger on my upper body than my lower body. Before I started HRT it was more equal and my body proportions were much better. Now I have a pot belly, breaking nails, hard facial skin, a thin face and various other problems. I exercise, I have a good healthy diet, I don't drink, I've never don't smoked but it doesn't help matters.

[Dale]

Hormones took care of alot of that

[RosieD]

Thanks for the replies, they helped me muddle through a bit of a blue.

Devlyn, I'm afraid I can't reply to your message. Not out of coyness but simply because the site won't let me.

Rosie

[Devlyn]

You can when you reach fifteeen posts! Go hit the the "What are you watching/reading/listening to" threads if you need topics. Hugs, Devlyn