My wife, the love of my life, has been in the hospital this week in critical condition after a fall. The first day, she could not speak, hold objects, stand, did not recognize many people, and was unconscious much of the time.
From the beginning, I was heart sick, and could concentrate on nothing but her. That whole time, everywhere I went, people called me ma'am, even though I wore jeans, tee shirt, and sneakers. It was a mystery to me, but I accepted it.
At the front desk, the woman behind the counter pointed to the visitor's register. "Please sign in, ma'am" she said. "What room?" I told her the room number, and she handed me the visitor tag, smiled again. I stuck it to my tee shirt above my left breast, and was on my way.
I was accepted as a woman so much, I decided to pass the men's restroom, and go straight to the ladies room. I tried the handle; it was locked. "There's a line, girl", a nearby woman said. she smiled, a little different smile, one that showed patience. then returned to a conversation she was having with another woman. I leaned against the wall, waiting my turn. When the door opened on my turn, the woman held it for me politely.
I went straight to the nurses desk on the floor where my wife was, and was immediately ma'amed. Here, I introduced myself as my wife's husband, male name and all. I had to be able to make legal decisions if necessary on my wife's behalf. After digesting that information, they treated me as a woman anyway after I spoke my next sentence. It was amazing. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. They called me by my Mr. name, and treated me as another woman at the same time. Totally unbelievable.
In the hospital cafeteria with a female relative, we received a "hello ladies" from some guy. ....I have some explaining to do soon, I think. I'm not out to all my family, only apparently to the rest of the world overnight.
Everywhere I went, women smiled, or acknowledged me in some way. I couldn't go anywhere and be treated as anything but a woman. At the grocery store....."move out of the ladies' way", a young mother told her son. At the checkout..."over here, ma'am? checkout 3". I slid a debit card through the reader. While we waited, the young lady behind the counter started a friendly conversation with me.
I know, this is a long-winded story, but there's a point to it. I was under so much stress, I forgot to act like a woman. I just acted like myself. A woman, apparently.
Today, my wife is finally showing a great deal of improvement. She can hold conversations, recognizes everyone she knew, and is anxious to be home. After a week or two of physical therapy, she should be able to come home, close to her normal state of health. Funny thing, I didn't seem any different to her at all, because around her, I just act like myself.
The last time I was sick, my wife brought me flowers. When she comes home, I'm buying out the florist's!
